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I am hung up on you repeatedly mentioning that he put in effort to plan the date. He just spent 3 minutes looking on google to find a restaurant. That's not planning a date or putting in any effort at all. That's just picking a restaurant. Don't over idolize that guy!!
And not everyone is a flirter. He has shown continued interest. I just met a guy who moved heaven and earth to meet me again after we randomly met a few weeks ago. Now he barely texts and there is no flirting at all but I know he is interested. Everyone is different.
I told him last night that I liked his kisses. I think I put too much pressure on myself to be interested, but not too interested. I keep trying to be interesting, but I feel like I have nothing to say.
And I get so hung up on flirting. Like if we aren't flirting and he's not showing me clear interest, then I assume he isn't interested, and I get so hung up that I have to see if he is. I get so hung up on talking about "us" to see where he's at, when I feel I can't tell. When in reality, he planned our night, coordinated with me, and is talking to me every day, all day long. That shows interest, flirting or not. He's already talking to me today.
I sit there like "I hope he likes me, I hope he likes me, man I like him" but I sit there quiet and all in my head.
I just want things to go right for me for once.
Like even today, my mom and I were talking on the phone and she tells this interesting news story she saw. She's like "oh you should tell this guy, it's crazy"
I would have never thought to tell him something like that. But at least it's different and interesting. But why can't my brain just shut off, go with the flow, but also be myself. Why can't I naturally just be myself and have interesting conversations with him? Even kissing, it was amazing, and a couple times he stopped and asked me what I was thinking. I flirted it away, as "oh its a secret" when in reality I just loved kissing him and could have told him that. I froze and got coy.
He mentioned a certain music artist last night. Someone I really like. We chatted a bit. Buy today, I think of all the facts I could have shared about that artist that I know. Would've been interesting. But I didn't. I was just sitting there.
It almost sounds as if he takes your breath away. Don't be shy. Talk to him like you talk to your girlfriends, and it does not matter if from time to time you both do not talk and sit in blissful quiet, all is good. Ask him questions, that makes good convo, One or two drinks can also help you talk a mile.... Tell him all you know about music,, good subject and more......Also, do not put yourself into too much restraint, what to say, what not to say, your second date comes up, I hope it is fun again.
Last edited by Rent.in.ny; 02-17-2022 at 01:00 PM..
I think you should go on dates with a few other guys now. You've put all your hopes and dreams and emotions into one person you barely know, and that is going to backfire on you big time. This guy should be occupying 10% of your thoughts, not 100%. You need a bunch of distractions.
Some people can multi date, some people cannot. I think that Mandi is not the type that can and want to multi date. She is too intensely concentratrated on one person.
Some people can multi date, some people cannot. I think that Mandi is not the type that can and want to multi date. She is too intensely concentratrated on one person.
I am with Zentropa on this one. BECAUSE she is too intensely concentrated on one person she should go out with others.
Some people can multi date, some people cannot. I think that Mandi is not the type that can and want to multi date. She is too intensely concentratrated on one person.
She can at least try. If she kept her options open she wouldn't be so fixated on this one guy and overly invested so soon.
Ideally its good to talk to multiple people at once and then have a flurry of dates. The one you click with best, it should be obvious, and mutual, hopefully. Once you get into a rhythm with that person so you know they are also interested and you are seeing each other often, you stop looking around then and focus on him.
It sounds like she started talking to this one guy and was into him before even meeting. You can't know if you are a match before you have actually met.
If the chemistry isn't obvious to both of you on the first date, some people keep dating but are kind of forcing it. The chemistry is there or not and its usually obvious pretty soon.
Most first dates don't lead to second dates.
Maybe Mandi's date was great and they will have a great relationship. I hope so. But she still seems anxious so I wonder if she's sensing it wasn't that great. But she is overly invested now so she wants to believe it was.
Some people can multi date, some people cannot. I think that Mandi is not the type that can and want to multi date. She is too intensely concentratrated on one person.
When I was dating I was juggling work, school, home responsibilities... I didn't want to be juggling several people at once. It may be that Mandi is too intensely focused on one person and it may not be that at all. It's a matter of preference.
Oh that goes without question. But at least she has been cautioned and will know exactly why this whole thing bombs.
Why should it bomb? Till now all is fine. Where do you see the dynamite?
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Don't be shy. Talk to him like you talk to your girlfriends, and it does not matter if from time to time you both do not talk and sit in blissful quiet, all is good. Ask him questions, that makes good convo, One or two drinks can also help you talk a mile....
Tell him all you know about music,, good subject and more......Also, do not put yourself into too much restraint, what to say, what not to say, your second date comes up, I hope it is fun again.
