New Guy, Not Rushing, Feeling Uncomfortable buy Excited? (respect, profile, settle)
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She does not show him that she is clingy, she tells only us her thoughts in details. With him, so she explained, she is very controlled.
Um, no, she's definitely coming over as clingy. She has JUST written that she writes long texts while his are short; that she answers his texts right away; that she tells him what she is doing all the time; that she was trying to get flirty texts out of him (like he USED to send before they actually met in person).
Those are NOT good signs ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandi9
And talk about me over-investing. This was the guy who was messaging me "I wish you were here cuddling with me" and "you male me smile every single day when I wake up, you are on my mind"
Right ... he did those things BEFORE YOU EVEN MET. Red flags all the way ...
(But again: Mandi, you have a life. You have a GOOD life. Get busy with OTHER stuff you find fun.)
It is a cruel game. Or maybe more a dance. But the way you set the tone now will decide your future with or without him.
If you are too eager - he will run or walk all over you.
Men are hunter. They want to EARN your attention. It is like a car - if someone just gives you a car, you will not appreciate it as much as if you have saved up for it over time.
Therefore, don't always text back immediately. Because you are a busy woman with a life. Don't always be available. Try to let him be the last with his texts. If the conversation is over, don't make it go longer, just let it be. Don't send overly long texts all the time or 3 in a row.
Before you are a couple, don't be too spontaneous with meeting immediately, always plan ahead, 2-3 days before. Because you are so busy, you don't just sit around and wait until he suggests to meet. Don't be too transparent, don't tell him all the time what you are doing.
I am also in the middle of such a dance, it is really, really hard on my patience. I am going out with someone else tomorrow to be distracted. Believe me, it takes the pressure off. And if you are not reachable for a few hours, he will wonder and get even more eager to win you over.
If you realize you talk too much, do some breathing exercises in between or count to 5 in your head. Of course without him knowing.
I got love bombed. I can't believe I fell for it. As soon as he got me on the hook, he's losing interest.
Don't beat yourself up too much. Its just part of OLD. Lots of lotharios on there who are just into the chase. They get some ego boost out of womanizing someone but have no intention of following up.
Hopefully you know how to prevent this from happening again.
I got love bombed. I can't believe I fell for it. As soon as he got me on the hook, he's losing interest.
Of course you fell for it. You're willing, at this point, to fall for any man who lavishes compliments and seems to "listen" to you up-front, which fulfills your fantasies of the ideal boyfriend and potential mate. This is because, despite all of your declarations of how you're a strong, independent woman who has a good life, you're still emotionally insecure and uninformed about how to conduct a healthy relationship due in part to your dysfunctional family, especially their marital relations. This is why it is so important to discuss your approach to dating and relationships with your therapist, so that you won't repeat the up/down/up cycle you exhibit every time you have a date or even a potential date. Relationships shouldn't be that chaotic or stressful.
Mandi you sound clingy, desperate, attention and sex starved. People have lives and not everything circles around Mandi who they just met.
I know. I get it. I just want love like everyone else in life. I've been so unlucky. I feel like I have every little piece in my life good. Good job, friends, home, etc... but love has always been missing for me. I want it so badly. It's the only thing I've never had. I look around and everyone around me has a love in their life, and I don't. It makes you feel so unworthy sometimes. My friends and family think I'm this amazing person, so why doesn't someone else respect me, get to know me, learn to love every part of me? I just want to share my life with someone else and to share in their life too.
I don't want to settle, but I also don't want to have such high standards that I'm alone forever. I see my friends married, and they are so comfortable, friends, imperfect, with their person. But they are happy and supported and loved. I just want that too. I think I deserve love. I have so much love and effort to give.
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