New Guy, Not Rushing, Feeling Uncomfortable buy Excited? (picture, like, using)
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We both acknowledged that we had a good time. We joked about "if you play your cards right..." next time etc.... I'll tell you about this or we can kiss more. Cute stuff. He even asked me "how'd I do"?" and again it seemed like positive flirting. A positive experience.
I think I'm getting too hyped up that we don't have plans again. He never gave me any indication that anything was bad or was wrong. He even walked me to my car door and kissed me goodnight. I didn't see it as we were done and I didn't get the vibe that he wasn't interested. I got the vibe that he had a pleasant time with me and all was good.
All is probably good. Go out this weekend with your friends, have a good time, check in from time to time/respond if this guy reaches out (and don't freak out if he doesn't), and let the chips fall where they may.
If no further dates occur, at the very least, you had a pleasant evening out and this was good practice for getting your dating chops back in order.
Did either of you say something along the lines of, "hey, I had a really good time with you tonight. Would you like to get together again?"
Most of my successful dates (whether they turned into a relationship or not) pretty much always included a brief exchange like that and, in some cases, plans being made for the next get-together even if we didn't set a definite time.
I don't consider making future-ish plans to be rushing--just an expression of interest in spending more time together because two people enjoy each other's company and hey, dating is fun.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
You say it. But you don't act like it because you don't believe it. You are starving for attention.
Honestly, truly, I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to seem desperate or hungry or rushing. I keep fighting myself like STOP MANDI this is terrible, but my feelings are just like that. I wish I could just enjoy life, go with the flow, and be myself. Guys have told me that I'm am awesome person when I'm just myself. A good guy friend of mine said to me that any guy would be lucky to have me and I should let a guy take the reigns and impress me, not the other way around. I hate being this insecure, obsessive, clingy girl.
It isn't attractive. I know it. I hate it. I just got too excited and hyped up about him and when the date went well, I was so excited. I couldn't stop smiling.
Of course if a guy happens to look like they hail from the land of Delicious Pho....they would never have the chance to find out if it is fun or not...now would they???
Some just lost the gentic lottery....Not our fault!
This thread isn't about that though.
Mandi - just breathe, calm down a bit, and enjoy your plans that you have with your friends. Don't feel the need to text this guy all weekend and don't have a panic attack if he doesn't text you. Let it be for now. You are your own worst enemy and is all of the stress worth it?
Mandi - just breathe, calm down a bit, and enjoy your plans that you have with your friends. Don't feel the need to text this guy all weekend and don't have a panic attack if he doesn't text you. Let it be for now. You are your own worst enemy and is all of the stress worth it?
Just relax a bit.
It isn't worth it. It's stupid. I immediately invest all I have. My time, my thoughts, my efforts. I held out making plans in case he wanted to make some with me. I only made some so I wouldn't be alone once I heard he was busy all weekend. I feel like such a soft idiot. I'm weak.
It isn't worth it. It's stupid. I immediately invest all I have. My time, my thoughts, my efforts. I held out making plans in case he wanted to make some with me. I only made some so I wouldn't be alone once I heard he was busy all weekend. I feel like such a soft idiot. I'm weak.
It's all ridiculous. He isn't some God.
Stop the rollercoaster Mandi. He just IS. You will find out in time whether you like him, and he likes you. If not, no biggie.
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I do get a tad too excited. It's only because I rarely ever meet guys I have stuff in common with and connect with. He and I had lots in common, we were both mature, and both in simular places in our lives and his goals were similar to mine.
I meet guys and they drink too much, smoke too much, have instability in their careers, have baggage.
This guy didn't seem to have any of that. He seemed a lot like me.
I personally think you're putting way too much emphasis on superficial stuff. There is not even one single thing you've told us about this guy that would suggest he's a decent person.
The stoner virgin had a bunch of issues but he was a good guy who treated you well.
IMHO, this thread just needs to end. I believe it is not helpful for the OP to continue it. It's feeding into all of her mental cycling back and forth...
I'm sure there will be another one--second (or third or twentieth version of the same thing).
It isn't worth it. It's stupid. I immediately invest all I have. My time, my thoughts, my efforts. I held out making plans in case he wanted to make some with me. I only made some so I wouldn't be alone once I heard he was busy all weekend. I feel like such a soft idiot. I'm weak.
It's all ridiculous. He isn't some God.
Maybe you need to learn to be alone and content with just yourself. Honestly, I think that doing so (through therapy) would greatly improve your chances of being in a fully developed relationship with someone else, instead of expecting them to fulfill your emotional needs to your current extent. Also, once you're truly more comfortable with yourself, you'll be less insecure, obsessive, and clingy.
She's certainly gotten a lot of advice and feedback and courteously, little snark.
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