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You're at that awkward friend stage, where your life paths are diverging. TOTALLY understandable.
Welcome to adulthood, it sucks.
You need to find an outlet for your time and energy. Exercise? Books? New hobby? You need to find yourself something to be passionate about, so it all doesn't go into the first guy who meets the low bar of appearing relatively normal.
I vote for making it all about you. Eat clean, get exercise, learn something new....
Quote:
Originally Posted by rrah
Again, this thread is like watching a mental ping pong game in the OP's head. Look at the highs and lows. It's really not healthy for her to reinforce this mental ping pong by responding to her every whim and worry. It just reinforces to her that this is normal thinking, and it's not.
I truly believe people on CD try to be helpful. This is simply not helping her to play out her internal mental games. She now has an audience for it, and admittedly I joined in for a bit. She doesn't care to hear or heed the most useful advice.
Exactly.
Many people on here have given good - no, excellent - advice, but only her friend gives good advice (sea of her most recent post).
Forget asking the guy to go bowling. And instead join a bowling league on your own. Or a skiing interest club or an art appreciation club or a bridge club. Or whatever. Develop some interests of your own that YOU enjoy.
One of my best friends joined the local Ski Club and went on a couple of ski trips with them. She wasn't looking to meet guys, but she met her future husband. And they automatically had a hobby in common that they have since done together for 20+ years. Do what YOU like and not stuff to please other people. The rest will fall into place.
Thanks. I just feel like I've kissed so many frogs already and it's still not happening. It gets depressing seeing your friends married and talking children, and I can't even get that second date. He may ask. I think he will next week honestly. And if he doesn't, its his loss.
I think I was cute on the date. We chatted, he teased me a lot. I teased him a little. It was good, other than the weird phone thing. I didn't find it repulsive enough not to see him again, but odd, especially since we were just meeting.
I drive myself crazy. I mine as well have flowers and be picking pedals "he loves me, he loves me not"
I wish I wasn't like this. I told my therapist about this. We're going to talk about it next week. Just sick of wasting my time and feeling like I'm always overlooked.
I am a good catch. I'm turning 30. I'm feeling so defeated.
Comparison is the thief of joy. Stop comparing yourself to your friends. From the stories you have told us about them, it sounds like you don't even like or approve of half of them and/or their husbands, so they should not be your barometer. In fact, I think the best investment of your time, after therapy, could possibly be developing a better network of friends. It takes time, but it is time well spent.
I dropped out 20 pages ago because it is either all BS or the OP has severe mental issues. I’m out
That's really a tad harsh. She gets overly invested. It's not that uncommon.
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That's really a tad harsh. She gets overly invested. It's not that uncommon.
She gets overly invested and then blames or criticizes the other person for not living up to her unrealistic expectations and/or the fantasies or images of them she has concocted in her head. She has done this in every single thread of hers that I have read, including threads about her parents, her coworkers, and her friends. There is a difference.
She gets overly invested and then blames or criticizes the other person for not living up to her unrealistic expectations and/or the fantasies or images of them she has concocted in her head. She has done this in every single thread of hers that I have read, including threads about her parents, her coworkers, and her friends. There is a difference.
I haven't read all of them, but diagnosing it as a "severe mental illness" still seems over the top. Definitely something she needs to fix, or all of life will be a disappointment. It's good she is in counseling.
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I haven't read all of them, but diagnosing it as a "severe mental illness" still seems over the top. Definitely something she needs to fix, or all of life will be a disappointment. It's good she is in counseling.
I agree. Mandi shares her every thought here. Maybe that's a sign of some issue, or maybe she uses these threads to sort through her thoughts. Probably some of both.
I think she does the opposite of what most people do on social media, and this site fits in that bucket if it's a big bucket. Most people curate their image quite carefully, but Mandi is either naive and doesn't know how the cool kids act, or she doesn't give a ****. Either is kind of refreshing.
And what's also interesting is that her threads are pretty formulaic. People who comment know exactly what to expect in response, get it, and then profess amazement. That's the colloquial definition of insanity
She gets overly invested and then blames or criticizes the other person for not living up to her unrealistic expectations and/or the fantasies or images of them she has concocted in her head. She has done this in every single thread of hers that I have read, including threads about her parents, her coworkers, and her friends. There is a difference.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
I haven't read all of them, but diagnosing it as a "severe mental illness" still seems over the top. Definitely something she needs to fix, or all of life will be a disappointment. It's good she is in counseling.
Seems to me there is an over investment in the life of a stranger on the internet.
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