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There's no need to "hate" any part of yourself. What is more important is to change the behavior that is not serving the relationship goals you wish to achieve, and getting "giddy way too fast" definitely doesn't help you do that. That is why posters have advised you numerous times that continuing your therapy is so important, because what you are doing is still not working for you. I do wonder, are you honestly telling your counselor/therapist about how you are doing as far as your online dating? I don't believe the therapist would encourage you to engage as totally as you do with people you haven't met in person or even people you've just started dating. Your overall dating approach is, IMHO, a topic that really needs discussion in your therapy sessions.
I haven't gotten to tell her enough yet, but I plan to. We've been focusing more on family stuff, and we just briefly broached dating. I plan on talking about it more. I don't want to sabotage any good potential relationship because of myself. I am a good person with great qualities, I just have a hard time with boundaries I think
I haven't gotten to tell her enough yet, but I plan to. We've been focusing more on family stuff, and we just briefly broached dating. I plan on talking about it more. I don't want to sabotage any good potential relationship because of myself. I am a good person with great qualities, I just have a hard time with boundaries I think
Don't pre-determine your issues. i.e., "boundaries". Frankly, I think your self-esteem issues and family interactions/dynamics play a large part in your relationship problems as well, but your therapist will be the best person to help you explore all of these if you are truly honest with her (I'm assuming her) in your discussions.
I did hear from a few guy friends of mine that when they online dated, they weren't comfortable meeting for a week to two weeks. They wanted to make sure the person was okay and they had stuff in common first. I get that. I'm willing to give him that. But cutting down on our own texting.
I did hear from a few guy friends of mine that when they online dated, they weren't comfortable meeting for a week to two weeks. They wanted to make sure the person was okay and they had stuff in common first. I get that. I'm willing to give him that. But cutting down on our own texting.
I don't know, it seems like guys have no problem hitting on women when they are out and about. They don't seem to worry about compatibility or any of that.
The general pattern I see with this and the previous guy you mentioned in a thread just a couple of weeks ago is there is some chemistry, you try to pour gasoline on it and put a match to it, and hilarity ensues. This guy is even telling you to just slow down.
So again: slow. down.
Enjoy the relationship for what it is. Don't force it. It will either become "something more", or it won't. You're not scheduled to turn into a pumpkin next month or something.
I did hear from a few guy friends of mine that when they online dated, they weren't comfortable meeting for a week to two weeks. They wanted to make sure the person was okay and they had stuff in common first. I get that. I'm willing to give him that. But cutting down on our own texting.
But you've ALREADY given him MORE than that ... and now, of course, you're making more excuses to give him more time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mandi9
He's making in-person plans with me.
And then something will come up and he'll have to delay and just want to sext some more ... and you'll let him string you on for how long?
Seriously, Mandi? FOR WHEN? I'll believe it when it happens.
After all the other excruciating detail you've provided, tell us what they are. Coffee date? Dinner? A walk on the beach? Specific details, otherwise, I think you're just trying to weasel out of an uncomfortable discussion.
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