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Have you had problems with this before? Were there other women in the past (or just friends) who mentioned that your dog was being too invasive?
You need to understand that the dog's manners are very much a product of your own ability to educate it. And while you may love your dog very much, that doesn't mean he's perfect or that some of his behaviors aren't problematic.
Your dog (especially a large dog) shouldn't constantly be crawling all over your guests.
I get the feeling you've raised that dog as a single person with very little boundaries or discipline. Now that's being a problem.
I perfectly understand that the dog isn't going anywhere because of that, and quite frankly, you probably shouldn't be a dog owner if you thought otherwise. But I think you'll have to find ways to create space for you and your girlfriend that don't involve having your big dog drooling all over her all the time.
She's basically told you everything you need to know here: she feels like you two don't have enough space together without the dog. That's a legitimate grievance to have. A solution will involve finding a way to get you the space she wants you two to have. What's not a solution is to wish away her grievance: convincing her to accept that nothing is going to change.
You can either find ways to spend intimate time with her at places other than your apartment, or find ways to control your dog. If you cannot or refuse to do either of these things then all you have left is to tell her "well, this is it, this state of things is what I can offer you", and see if she tolerates it or not. I wouldn't advise that latter option.
My St. Bernard, Waffles, is a lover, not a fighter. He's the type of dog where, if my apartment ever had burglars. he'd go grab his best tennis ball and try to start up a game of fetch. If I'm on the couch, he's on the couch, if I'm in bed, he is too. If I'm at my desk, his head is in my lap.
My new girlfriend, well, everytime she comes over, he thinks its a petting session for him so he nudges his head up against her hand or full on gets in her lap. She feels that its at a point where we aren't allowed to be a couple without him. I feel like, he's essentially family and that, its not like he's biting or attacking her, he's looking for hugs, scratches, petting, and belly rubs.
Waffles won't be going anywhere, how do I get her to accept him more?
when i first met my wife ( 2013 ) , my english bulldog Archie really did not like me having a regular guest staying over , the first time she was in the house , I made her a cup of coffee and in runs Archie , pucks his head ( bulldogs have strong heads ) against her chair and hit it so hard she spilled coffee all over her outfit
his incessant flatulence also created problems as she didnt find it at all amusing
I dated someone whose dog wasn't trained and it would body slam me every time I came over there. He could only control it by putting it outside or in a crate. That's a dog that hasn't been trained. It's on the dog owner to train the dog. It's not the girlfriend's job to control the dog.
I'm sure it's probably a turn off to her to have this dog in her face and she isn't likely to want to get romantic with you while the dog is around. If your priority is the relationship, then put the dog elsewhere.
Your title: How do I acclimate my girlfriend to my dog?
That's backwards. How do I acclimate my dog to my girlfriend.
Yes. Why are you expecting your girlfriend to put up with your dog's behavior? First of all, Saint Bernards are big slobbery dogs. When I go to the dog park with my dogs I don't want big slobbery dogs with drool hanging down getting on my lap or on my legs. Most people are respectful and keep their slobber dog away from others because they know it bothers people. So you need to think about that. I mean, that's basic.
I'm a total dog person, but I'm very conscious of how my dogs behave around other people. One of my dogs likes to jump on people. She's never quit in 11 years even with intensive training. I have to watch her because she's a total people person and she wants a lot of attention.
Another story: I was at a dog park and was telling some people near me that this guy I had been dating wanted me to get rid of my dogs. I told them I got rid of him instead. They all burst out laughing and said they'd done that too.
That guy was an insensitive jerk. When there was a death in my family he made some really snotty comments and this was a guy who had lost his wife within the past year! There was something wrong upstairs in there. Those two things: telling me to get rid of my dogs, he didn't like me cuz I'm not Italian, he didn't like me bcuz I wasn't his wife and then he says something really insensitive about a relative who passed away. That was it for me. Done. Ghosted the guy.
But the dog thing? A guy I've been dating a couple months tells me to get rid of my dogs and would make a face every time he saw them? No.
OP you need to keep your dog away from your girlfriend and make sure that he doesn't annoy her. How hard is that? One of my dogs is very effervescent. She needs to be tied to something in the house when guests come over because otherwise she gets all crazy and drives everybody nuts. But when she's restrained she gets to be near everyone and she's happy. Win-win for everybody.
......They need to settle this between the two of them. .......
Just a guess, but I would bet that the OP would be mightily offended if the girlfriend tried to discipline the dog or tried to teach it any manners.
I don't expect each guest into my house to wrassle out dominance issues with each of my dogs. I expect my dogs to behave with polite manners... and since I am the head of the pack, my dogs do as I wish. It's not the job of my guests to make my dogs behave.
Just a guess, but I would bet that the OP would be mightily offended if the girlfriend tried to discipline the dog or tried to teach it any manners.
I don't expect each guest into my house to wrassle out dominance issues with each of my dogs. I expect my dogs to behave with polite manners... and since I am the head of the pack, my dogs do as I wish. It's not the job of my guests to make my dogs behave.
Exactly. OP you are the Pack Leader. If your dog is an only dog it's probably an Alpha by virtue of its relationship to you. if you got a second dog, it would be the second dog in the house so it would take the role of Beta.
As Pack Leader you need to have Authority over your Alpha Dog - actually all of your dogs but especially your Alpha dog.
Anyone with two or more dogs has learned a lot about human psychology and behavior. There are Alpha humans, Beta humans and Omega humans. The difference is that Beta and Omega humans can learn Alpha behavior and not take any crap from an Alpha human. However a Beta or Omega dog will always defer to the Alpha dog. I wanted a second dog for my Alpha. I got the perfect Beta dog, just by chance
You can either find ways to spend intimate time with her at places other than your apartment, or find ways to control your dog. If you cannot or refuse to do either of these things then all you have left is to tell her "well, this is it, this state of things is what I can offer you", and see if she tolerates it or not. I wouldn't advise that latter option.
And, of course, as much as they can spend time at her place or elsewhere, what happens if the relationship progresses to the point of wanting to live together or get married? Then she's going to have to live with the dog. So unless she's committed to always living apart and rarely going to his place-- at least as long as the dog is alive-- I still say she's the one who should be rethinking this relationship.
My dog always came first. If he hated you, you had to go. BYE
RIP to my little bodyguard. I was thankful that when he passed away, I had someone there with me that my dog loved very much, and the feelings were mutual. ♥
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BYE
