Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You knew he or she still had feelings for them. Perhaps all of their conversations were about their ex. Why did you date them? What were you trying to get out of the relationship? Was it an opposite to take advantage of them?
Yes, I dated someone who was divorced but not over his ex. He constantly talked about her. At first I thought, since we were just starting to get to know each other, that he was talking about her a lot in order to fill me in about his past. So I tolerated it as part of the getting-to-know-him experience. But when he said, "I'll never love another woman like I loved my wife", that was the last straw. That hit me right between the eyes. In other words, this guy was telling me, straight up, that he would always love his wife. How do you have a relationship with someone in love with another woman? You can't. I dumped him. It was about 2 months into it when I came to the realization that this guy was never going to change his feelings for her. It was 20 years since they got divorced. I had a few other relationships with divorced men that had similar feelings about their exes but not as deeply entrenched.
I don't know what you mean by, "Was it an opposite to take advantage of them?"
You knew he or she still had feelings for them. Perhaps all of their conversations were about their ex. Why did you date them? What were you trying to get out of the relationship? Was it an opposite to take advantage of them?
I didn't think I did, then reading the first reply reminded me of one guy Bob I dated. He was best friends with my siblings husband. This guy was really into me, telling me how much he loved me, then turned around, said he still had feeling for his wife. I said whatever. He ended up back with her. Last I spoke to him on FB, we friended for a few years, they had a few kids.
Yes, I dated someone who was divorced but not over his ex. He constantly talked about her. At first I thought, since we were just starting to get to know each other, that he was talking about her a lot in order to fill me in about his past. So I tolerated it as part of the getting-to-know-him experience. But when he said, "I'll never love another woman like I loved my wife", that was the last straw. That hit me right between the eyes. In other words, this guy was telling me, straight up, that he would always love his wife. How do you have a relationship with someone in love with another woman? You can't. I dumped him. It was about 2 months into it when I came to the realization that this guy was never going to change his feelings for her. It was 20 years since they got divorced. I had a few other relationships with divorced men that had similar feelings about their exes but not as deeply entrenched.
I don't know what you mean by, "Was it an opposite to take advantage of them?"
Sorry I meant was it an opportunity to take advantage of them. In other words, some people don’t care if you are vulnerable They will use that to get sex and money.
I did once years ago, but I didn't know at the time she had broken up recently. I'm not really one to get into a relationship with a rebound.
Our first dates should have been a clue, as she constantly complained about what a bad person her ex was. But back then, I was as clueless as the typical lovelorn male who asks for 'advice' on this forum. It didn't hurt that she was a looker.
She eventually got on my nerves as she constantly texted me and wanted to chat online almost everyday. She would get all upset if I didn't want to. This is why I still cannot understand how people these days text and chat with each other 24/7 for months on end before they even meet for the first time.
I ended it and eventually found out she went right back to her ex and then was pregnant with his child not long after. Definitely dodged a bullet.
Do you mean did I date him to take advantage of him for sex and money or do you mean HE took advantage of me? Sorry, I'm not following your line of thought here.
Did I feel he was taking advantage of me? Yes. I had no idea that he still had feelings for his ex. He led me to believe he was free and clear, a guy who hadn't had a date in awhile and was looking for companionship, yet in his heart he was still involved with his ex. That wasn't fair to me. I entered into the relationship with him free and clear, with an open heart, certainly not going to waste my time putting time and energy into it if a long term relationship wasn't in the future. Little by little, over the course of 2 months, I found out he was still stuck on her. He talked about her constantly. They were going out to dinner from time to time (he said for the sake of their kids--who aren't little, they're adults) and I think she might have stayed over his place a few times (he made a few slips that she griped about him not buying her breakfast so I put two and two together). He wanted physical intimacy without any serious commitments, someone who could pay for half of the dating expenses. He wasn't a total user but he was one of those men who live in a bubble. They don't look at themselves or at how their expectations are just so totally ridiculously arrogant.
I dated a lady while in college who kept talking about her old boyfriend. You can tell where you rate when, while fooling around (but stopping before sex) she told me several times about their "first time" at her parents' house while they were at work. I heard that story several times. After about a week of that, we went from dating to friend who hung out together.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
