Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Recently I dated 2 guys and noticed both has my way or highway kind of personality. I already rejected one of them because I strongly felt he wanted for things to go his way always, the other guy is still in my energy but I am making a decision on him which is mostly a rejection. I am finding it hard to get to know him due to his avoidant attachment style. Probably just because of avoidant style and me not being able to get to know him, I feel he is my way or highway kind of personality too.
If I try to bring up some issues in our connection, he goes silent on me for 2 weeks and then will come back as if nothing happened. He just wants to sweep the issues under the rug. He also doesn't share or open up, so looks like he has major trust issues too and he is not ready to share it with me. I know him for about a year now and I feel like I am just wasting my time with him. He wants a relationship with me, but doesn't finalize anything or takes thing to next level. I am not nagging at him either and sometimes we go without talking for weeks, I just give him time and space he needs.
Since he doesn't share anything, on my end I sometimes feel like he is giving me a silent treatment and then comes back whenever he is ready. He also doesn't like to talk much, so even though I like to communicate more in a relationship, he is not ready to change his style. We talk once a week for 10-15 mins over the phone and meet every few months since we live 5.5 hours apart. Unfortunately in my case I have to go for long distance, because it's difficult to find the guys from my culture in the city that I live. I feel the connection is getting toxic and it's better I get out now itself.
I do wonder if such kind of personality(who goes into man cave couple of times a month) ever gets into a successful relationship with anyone? Anyone here who has dated/in relationship with a person with avoidant attachment style. How did it go?
He's not mature enough, or not mentally-healthy enough for a relationship. Why would you want a relationship with all that dysfunction? Or maybe it's as another poster said: he just isn't available enough, and doesn't want to be.
In any case, it's a pretty clear no-go, wouldn't you say?
Yes, they could be. With the guy I rejected, he clearly showed things have to go his way always. With current guy, since I am not able to read him, he could be anything. I am lately giving chance and having more patience with such guys which I know is wrong, but it's because I am in mid-30's and it's difficult to find guys for me (culture wise it's difficult to find a match after 30's). There are days where I do realize that it's better to be alone than spending life with such guys and then there are days where I fear how life would be if I am along in my 40's and 50's, so I try to be in such connections for longer trying to see if it could work out.
Can you tell us what culture this is? It may shine light on your questions. There are people here from lots of cultural backgrounds.
Just looks like another woman that is dealing with a man in her league for non commitment , but out of her league for commitment. Its more often contextual than maturity levels and personality types. To be perfectly blunt, a man who is say a 9 will have sex with a 5 , but will never commit. This should be the #1 suspect in every one of these cases.
Ask him if he is a Scorpio, I was in such a kind if RL and the farthest we got was an fwb/fb RL, he wanted to control everything, was very private, very secretive, bad communicator, was only communicating when he wanted, often disppeared into his man cave, as you mentioned. He was very handsome and sex with him was phantastic and it was him who decided when it will happen.
It lasted 8 months and we kind of fell for each other, I guess I more than him. Then he moved to another state and we still email each other. Ask him if he is a Scorpio.
Just looks like another woman that is dealing with a man in her league for non commitment , but out of her league for commitment. Its more often contextual than maturity levels and personality types. To be perfectly blunt, a man who is say a 9 will have sex with a 5 , but will never commit. This should be the #1 suspect in every one of these cases.
Not in our case, I am myself an 8/9. I doubt that 9 men have sex with 5 women, not even for ons, why would they when they don't have to.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
