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I'm sorry you're hurting, Blueskies. It may not seem real to some people looking on the outside. However, it seems clear how invested and genuine you were about the situation. It is easy to become invested in someone when you spend so much time talking each day. Perhaps in hindsight you might be more guarded with guys online in future, but sometimes you need to go through the experience yourself in order to truly understand the risks.
What he was doing was a huge betrayal of trust. He clearly has a play book to get what he wants out of women. It's a reminder about the risks of online long distance relationships/dating too. He could present a front of the man you wanted. Whereas, in person you probably would have seen through it earlier and not wasted your time.
If you still have access to his private messages or social media accounts, it is in your best interests to remove your access so you can move on in peace. You have enough information to know the guy was a creep and that you did the right thing cutting him out of his life. For your own sake, it is time to let go.
Your feelings are valid and although it hurts a lot right now, it may actually prove easier to get over him in the long run because of the circumstances and distance.
Sorry but an online 'relationship' is not a real relationship if you two have never even met in real life. As stated above you felt in love with a fantasy. Unless two people eventually meet in real life, there's no way an online 'relationship' is anywhere near an actual physical relationship.
There have been many threads on this forum where people who had amazing connections online, found out that it really wasn't all that after meeting up in real life.
I say this because it is not healthy to obsess and pine over something that was never there in the first place. For future potential relationships, there must be a point where two people actually meet in person and spend some meaningful time together, before declaring each other the loves of their lives.
Welcome to the world of online dating. There are a lot life lessons here. First, long distance with someone you don't know (no matter how often you talk and text) is never going to work. You should only date in your area with a limited parimeter, such as 50 mile radius of where you live. You should meet as soon as possible if you do connect with someone that you think you would enjoy getting to know. Never get into "sexting" or hot and heavy pics and all that before you actually meet someone and commit to them. Never settle for less than what you want and deserve and always listen to your conscience and most of all, your "gut" feeling.
Any time a person does anything (not necessarily sexual) but anything that is disrespectful to one that he/she is supposedly committed to is cheating. Taking a loan out without their knowledge, gambling, going to bars without their knowledge, etc. Anything that is deceptive and hurtful in any way (emotionally, physically, financially) is cheating. At least that's how it is in my book.
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