Does anyone else love being in relationships but hates dating with a passion?

[ChileSauceCritic]

Originally Posted by Seija

Yeah, well, you know how I feel about what you seek in a relationship. I do think, from all of your posts proclaiming your need for the "honeymoon" phase to be ever and eternal, that you seek codependence more than a mature relationship. This isn't a personal attack. It's to say that I am not getting into it with you because I've heard your angle before and don't think the place you're coming from is a healthy one.

Well for me the honeymoon phase does not wear off unless something happens, like cheating on her side, or when I meet someone new(after a non cheating breakup) then the feelings are wiped clean.

I don't fall in love easy, it takes many many first dates before I meet someone that sparks that feeling in me, but when I do it happens quick and hard and it's like a 3rd eye opens up and the world becomes a beautiful place and even the mundane becomes wonderous, the closest I can describe it is when I did ecstasy in the 90's a few times.

[Sonic_Spork]

I mean, I can understand a romantic partner being the premier #1 connection in one's life, but that kind of investment takes time. Even (especially?) in the first bloom of the infatuation phase, others would be my rock even if I'm on fire for a newish partner.

When I had kids, particularly when they were little, they were for sure my top human priorities. Yes, above my husband. Some say that's not right...I don't care. He was a grown arse man, they needed me for everything. An adult should be able to meet some of their own needs or be understanding of necessary compromises, children cannot. I sometimes felt he saw them as nearly expendable in comparison to me, he once said, "If the house was on fire I'd get you out first...then the kids. We could make more kids." I found that horrific. And I told him if he thought I would let him get me out before our kids, he had another thing coming and if he thought I'd let him make more with me if he failed in protecting the ones we had, same. We had different priorities, I guess.

But now that my kids are grown, and I am carefully tapering the support they get from me, NOW yes, my husband is my number one person. He was not instantly, that had to grow, though. But once I am invested, I'm very loyal.

Though yeah, there are times when I would prefer to do something on my own or for him to do so. If it's an activity that one would enjoy and the other would not, then we have other friends to be our company for such things...at least, we did, before we moved to a new city where we don't really know people. I usually make new friends very easily, but I've become more of a homebody since Covid changed our lives. Working from home and all. /shrug

[bobspez]

I agree, it's magical and came on fast for me, falling and being in love. Other than unrequited love crushes, it only happened twice in my life. Luckily the second time was with the girl I married.

Originally Posted by ChileSauceCritic

Well for me the honeymoon phase does not wear off unless something happens, like cheating on her side, or when I meet someone new(after a non cheating breakup) then the feelings are wiped clean.

I don't fall in love easy, it takes many many first dates before I meet someone that sparks that feeling in me, but when I do it happens quick and hard and it's like a 3rd eye opens up and the world becomes a beautiful place and even the mundane becomes wonderous, the closest I can describe it is when I did ecstasy in the 90's a few times.

[Sleez1]

What y'all saying don't make sense to me I need a relationship