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A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married.
She put an ad in the local paper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED !
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay,
she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a
wheel chair. He had no arms or legs.
The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider
you, are you? Just look at you....you have no legs!"
The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"
She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!"
Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?"
With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said,
"I rang the doorbell didn't I?"
I haven't checked today's Dilbert comic yet. Yesterday's was particularly funny b/c I know of a few guys who've dated women, provided them w/ free tech support while they dated, and then their respective relationships ended shortly thereafter.
I haven't checked today's Dilbert comic yet. Yesterday's was particularly funny b/c I know of a few guys who've dated women, provided them w/ free tech support while they dated, and then their respective relationships ended shortly thereafter.
Oh, well... Incidentally, this morning I was talking with a buddy at work and he was telling me how good he felt and how his ego was stroked when he fixed his little son's truck and was his hero. So I told him: When are you coming to my house? Even though unfortunately it doesn't come naturally to me , I can muster some ego stroking, too, need be... After all I bought my soft toilet seat about 3 months ago and my poor tushie still gets abused on the regular one. Ah, maybe I can manage to do it... only that somehow I ended up without pliars and I haven't decided what toolbox to buy. Haven't changed the filters yet, either (I was whining about this before). I'm not doing this one, though. It's a miracle I didn't break a limb when looking at one of them. That honor will go to the first taller person visiting!
Oh, well... Incidentally, this morning I was talking with a buddy at work and he was telling me how good he felt and how his ego was stroked when he fixed his little son's truck and was his hero. So I told him: When are you coming to my house? Even though unfortunately it doesn't come naturally to me , I can muster some ego stroking, too, need be... After all I bought my soft toilet seat about 3 months ago and my poor tushie still gets abused on the regular one. Ah, maybe I can manage to do it... only that somehow I ended up without pliars and I haven't decided what toolbox to buy. Haven't changed the filters yet, either (I was whining about this before). I'm not doing this one, though. It's a miracle I didn't break a limb when looking at one of them. That honor will go to the first taller person visiting!
I can tell that you're making up a laundry list for your next b/f. W/ you smoking it up in your house, I don't even want to imagine what condition your A/C filters are in.
While your coworker's ego was stroked, he may want you to stroke something else.
A set of pliers is pretty cheap. No need for a fancy toolbox. Sears has those items go on sale quite frequently.
I can tell that you're making up a laundry list for your next b/f. W/ you smoking it up in your house, I don't even want to imagine what condition your A/C filters are in.
I told ya before and it still holds true - filters are snow white! With my current lifestyle, I smoke pretty much in the office only - where my life is. I need a handyman, not a BF. I've got one lined up, but you can't have him come over for every little thing like that...
Quote:
While your coworker's ego was stroked, he may want you to stroke something else.
His life is too messy for other strokes. Besides, I believe office flings are the kiss of death and I need my job.
Quote:
A set of pliers is pretty cheap. No need for a fancy toolbox. Sears has those items go on sale quite frequently.
I know. I'm just big on optimizing and I think trivial things out to death. I often joke had I spent the same time I spent choosing a watch choosing my ex-husband... would've made a much better choice...
I can tell that you're making up a laundry list for your next b/f.
FYI, this is called a honey-do list!
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So I told him: When are you coming to my house? Even though unfortunately it doesn't come naturally to me 
, I can muster some ego stroking, too, need be...
Ah, maybe I can manage to do it... only that somehow I ended up without pliars and I haven't decided what toolbox to buy.
