Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Apologies if this is all over the shop/rambling a bit.
I recently got together twice with a guy I’ve known since I was a teenager. He’s always had a thing for me & told me he likes me, flirted with me last 4+ months via text/online. Kissed a couple of times the two times we met but I’m really bad at reading signals and haven’t dated much in my life tbh. I’m confused as to if he’s in to me or not based on things so far. Advice please.
There's a guy that's just come back into my life. Known him since i was 14 or so, apparently i was his first love and according to him i am his favorite (whatever that means). He has told me he likes me and thinks i'm amazing, beautiful, all that kinda stuff. He lives about a 9 hour drive away from me and flys down to where i live frequently.
We had been mainly chatting online and via text for some time - about 4 months, i was pretty sure of where i stood with him and how he viewed me (romantically)by what he said in these online/text convos. He asked me a few times if i was interested in going up to visit him. Personally i preferred him to come here. Had phone calls as well. There was flirtation at all times, more on his part than mine, i am more reserved.
Finally he came into town (hadn't been happening, for no particular reason), and we arranged to meet up. I went to his place (i was fine with that as i already know him). I was there about 5 hours, we had no problems keeping the convo going, all good. On arriving there, he gave me the biggest longest hug, and on leaving same again - the type where you have your full body pressed against someone, arms around my waist slowly moving up and down my back. Once outside (waiting for cab), same kinda hug again, and he kissed me a couple of times, not full on french kissing but nice prolonged closed mouth kisses (defo not how you'd kiss friends normally), and asked when he could/would see me again and that he hoped it would be soon. Exchanged a couple of texts during the week, but he didn't ask me out, i wondered if that was something i should worry about but eventually just asked him via text if he wanted to get together soon again to which he said yes and we sorted out a date and time, talked to him on the phone a couple days after that before 2nd date, a little flirtation, he said he'd see me next week (2nd date).
Went over for 2nd date(?), he seemed super happy to see me and on arrival same long full body contact hugs, arms tight around my waist, squeezing, and a couple of kisses on the mouth whilst embracing. Dinner was good and again, about 5 hours or so, no issues with convo. He did make some odd comment, after trying to find a picture of a friend of his to show me, about how i'd meet said friend "if i decided i wanted to hang around". Wtf does that even mean? My response was that it depended on if he let me, to which his reply was Yes, i like you. A friend of mine thought it might be a gauging comment. I have no idea how to interpret it. I t
Eventually he asked how we would be getting me home and that was the end of the date. Goodbye was the same as the last time, long hug and some kisses. He also makes some odd little noise when hugging me - happiness sound, i dunno. Some random comment about how we should/could do this regularly, followed by a comment about getting the neighbors' talking, seeing him kissing a blonde girl (me) on his doorstep. Odd but people say weird ****, i know i did - "see you on the dance floor or sooner" was my awesome parting line. DOH!
There was a break of 4 days and i hadn't heard from him, am i obsessing over nothing? Should i be concerned? It's not entirely unusual that 2-3 days go by without us texting each other and to be fair, i haven't contacted him either. It didn't really concern me before but now it does because i actually like him, and i'm getting in my head over things. The rhythm of our text/online communication for the most part is the same, it may have slowed a little and become slightly less flirtatious since meeting IRL but i put that down to no longer just having to rely on online/text comms.
I'm also wondering why he's not "tried it on" yet beyond the kisses/hugs, not that i necessarily want it to be a one and done thing. Is it possible that it could be because he actually likes me? Or should i take how it's playing out another way. I also wonder if my weird ass farewell comment and my not contacting him could lead him to believe i'm not that interested.
He has a LOT going on, mentioned feeling overwhelmed, and also has his young son F - Sun, i tend to not contact him then as i don't want to intrude on that but we have communicated on those days as well.
I guess i don't know what to do next because we already know each other and all the advice from online seems to be geared towards someone you don't know that well - and it all suggest that you must play hard to get, the guy must chase, the woman should not, don't text too soon and if they're not contacting your it's because they're not interested etc and so forth, so i'm wondering what to believe/what to do.
This person always replies to me when i text, but sometimes there is a couple of days that pass with no contact, this has been the norm for the majority of the time. A lot of flirting when we were only texting, it's toned down a little but i also put this down to the fact it's not just online now and people behave differently somewhat, depending on the medium. I know i'm a bit different in Real Life because there's more of a vulnerability, and more at stake than if it's just contained to online/texting.
As it turns out he has Covid and it's not a walk in the park and i'm guessing why he's not communicating much. Obviously i don't want to harrass him but i also want to make sure he's ok/contact him.
He's sick, and feels like crap. Maybe reach out with something brief, and something he doesn't have to respond to, if he's not up to it. Something like "I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I hope you get better fast!" At least he would know he's on your mind.
If he does respond, maybe offer to have a pizza delivered to him, or some soup...or send him a card? Just something to let him know you're thinking about him.
I don't understand those long, full body-press handsy-on-the-back hugs + long kisses for someone he was only seeing for the first time since high school, especially when nothing happened between you two in HS. It seems a bit presumptuous and excessive for someone one is renewing contact with after years, even a decade or more (there's a child in the picture, so it must have been at least 10 years).
What you haven't told us: are you into this guy? I guess so, since you spend hours with him at a time, and say the conversation doesn't lag. Or are you into him mainly because this is the first guy in an eon who's shown interest in you, whith whom you feel comfortable because you've known him before?
It sounds to me like he's spent the last 10+ years fantasizing about you, frankly. FWIW. In spite of having had a child with someone else. Like maybe he's been keeping you on a pedestal all these years, as the potential solution to his relationship history with his child's mother. and who with knows whom else. What's the story on the baby mom? Married/divorced? An "oops" from his college experience? It could say something about his character, so it's a relevant question.
Apologies if this is all over the shop/rambling a bit.
There was a break of 4 days and i hadn't heard from him, am i obsessing over nothing? Should i be concerned? It's not entirely unusual that 2-3 days go by without us texting each other and to be fair, i haven't contacted him either. It didn't really concern me before but now it does because i actually like him, and i'm getting in my head over things. The rhythm of our text/online communication for the most part is the same, it may have slowed a little and become slightly less flirtatious since meeting IRL but i put that down to no longer just having to rely on online/text comms.
I'm also wondering why he's not "tried it on" yet beyond the kisses/hugs, not that i necessarily want it to be a one and done thing. Is it possible that it could be because he actually likes me? Or should i take how it's playing out another way. I also wonder if my weird ass farewell comment and my not contacting him could lead him to believe i'm not that interested.
I can't really know the situation by this, of course... but generally, as men / boys... we tell each other that we're supposed to wait the requisite amount of time before we communicate after a date. That is because we tell each other that if we reach out too quickly, it will make us look desperate. There is no concept of waiting too long, because we're waiting to see how interested you are, and if you're going to reach out. This will help us gauge how interested in us you really are.
As far as "tried it on," it could just be that he's nervous. As a guy, obviously he wants more... even a gay man likes boobs now and then, but he's probably hoping you'll make the move. It sounds like he's just kind of dorky about all of this and doesn't know how to really react...
Don't think too much into any of this... if you like him, make it known.
First, how old are you? As you went to HS together I assume he is close to you in age. Start thinking with your brain. He has a child. What about the child's mother - is she apt to make problems if you and he become a couple? He and the child will be a package deal - are you up for that? Does he pay child support and is he a part of the child's life? If he's not responsible or not interested in the child - then his character leaves a lot to be desired.
Now let's say he's fulfilling all the requirements of a good parent. He and his ex are on good terms and she has no problems with you. Are you up for part time parenting? You are attracted to him and he obviously is attracted to you. But think about what you want. What sort of future are you after? Are you desperate for a bf? What comes after sex? Do you have a plan and is he the kind of person you can plan a future with? Share goals with?I don't mean to be a Debbie downer, but how does he look as a partner when you subtract your physical attraction.?
Apologies if this is all over the shop/rambling a bit.
I recently got together twice with a guy I’ve known since I was a teenager. He’s always had a thing for me & told me he likes me, flirted with me last 4+ months via text/online. Kissed a couple of times the two times we met but I’m really bad at reading signals and haven’t dated much in my life tbh. I’m confused as to if he’s in to me or not based on things so far. Advice please.
There's a guy that's just come back into my life. Known him since i was 14 or so, apparently i was his first love and according to him i am his favorite (whatever that means). He has told me he likes me and thinks i'm amazing, beautiful, all that kinda stuff. He lives about a 9 hour drive away from me and flys down to where i live frequently.
We had been mainly chatting online and via text for some time - about 4 months, i was pretty sure of where i stood with him and how he viewed me (romantically)by what he said in these online/text convos. He asked me a few times if i was interested in going up to visit him. Personally i preferred him to come here. Had phone calls as well. There was flirtation at all times, more on his part than mine, i am more reserved.
Finally he came into town (hadn't been happening, for no particular reason), and we arranged to meet up. I went to his place (i was fine with that as i already know him). I was there about 5 hours, we had no problems keeping the convo going, all good. On arriving there, he gave me the biggest longest hug, and on leaving same again - the type where you have your full body pressed against someone, arms around my waist slowly moving up and down my back. Once outside (waiting for cab), same kinda hug again, and he kissed me a couple of times, not full on french kissing but nice prolonged closed mouth kisses (defo not how you'd kiss friends normally), and asked when he could/would see me again and that he hoped it would be soon. Exchanged a couple of texts during the week, but he didn't ask me out, i wondered if that was something i should worry about but eventually just asked him via text if he wanted to get together soon again to which he said yes and we sorted out a date and time, talked to him on the phone a couple days after that before 2nd date, a little flirtation, he said he'd see me next week (2nd date).
Went over for 2nd date(?), he seemed super happy to see me and on arrival same long full body contact hugs, arms tight around my waist, squeezing, and a couple of kisses on the mouth whilst embracing. Dinner was good and again, about 5 hours or so, no issues with convo. He did make some odd comment, after trying to find a picture of a friend of his to show me, about how i'd meet said friend "if i decided i wanted to hang around". Wtf does that even mean? My response was that it depended on if he let me, to which his reply was Yes, i like you. A friend of mine thought it might be a gauging comment. I have no idea how to interpret it. I t
Eventually he asked how we would be getting me home and that was the end of the date. Goodbye was the same as the last time, long hug and some kisses. He also makes some odd little noise when hugging me - happiness sound, i dunno. Some random comment about how we should/could do this regularly, followed by a comment about getting the neighbors' talking, seeing him kissing a blonde girl (me) on his doorstep. Odd but people say weird ****, i know i did - "see you on the dance floor or sooner" was my awesome parting line. DOH!
There was a break of 4 days and i hadn't heard from him, am i obsessing over nothing? Should i be concerned? It's not entirely unusual that 2-3 days go by without us texting each other and to be fair, i haven't contacted him either. It didn't really concern me before but now it does because i actually like him, and i'm getting in my head over things. The rhythm of our text/online communication for the most part is the same, it may have slowed a little and become slightly less flirtatious since meeting IRL but i put that down to no longer just having to rely on online/text comms.
I'm also wondering why he's not "tried it on" yet beyond the kisses/hugs, not that i necessarily want it to be a one and done thing. Is it possible that it could be because he actually likes me? Or should i take how it's playing out another way. I also wonder if my weird ass farewell comment and my not contacting him could lead him to believe i'm not that interested.
He has a LOT going on, mentioned feeling overwhelmed, and also has his young son F - Sun, i tend to not contact him then as i don't want to intrude on that but we have communicated on those days as well.
I guess i don't know what to do next because we already know each other and all the advice from online seems to be geared towards someone you don't know that well - and it all suggest that you must play hard to get, the guy must chase, the woman should not, don't text too soon and if they're not contacting your it's because they're not interested etc and so forth, so i'm wondering what to believe/what to do.
This person always replies to me when i text, but sometimes there is a couple of days that pass with no contact, this has been the norm for the majority of the time. A lot of flirting when we were only texting, it's toned down a little but i also put this down to the fact it's not just online now and people behave differently somewhat, depending on the medium. I know i'm a bit different in Real Life because there's more of a vulnerability, and more at stake than if it's just contained to online/texting.
As it turns out he has Covid and it's not a walk in the park and i'm guessing why he's not communicating much. Obviously i don't want to harrass him but i also want to make sure he's ok/contact him.
It doesn't sound like he's lost interest to me, but if he's been sick with Covid, he most probably was too sick to do anything (I had it). If it's the strain I had, it was feverland for two weeks under the covers with chills, etc. Felt horrible, very tired.
I wouldn't worry if a few days go by without contact, especially if he's been sick. If it's the norm for him to a few days without contact, there's really nothing to worry about.
Worse case scenario .... let's say he is losing interest. It's OK, just need to back off and let him to the contacting and if he doesn't meet your needs (as far as staying mentally "OK" without contact from totally mixed signals) then just hold your head up and move on. You will be ok no matter what.
Apologies if this is all over the shop/rambling a bit.
I recently got together twice with a guy I’ve known since I was a teenager. He’s always had a thing for me & told me he likes me, flirted with me last 4+ months via text/online. Kissed a couple of times the two times we met but I’m really bad at reading signals and haven’t dated much in my life tbh. I’m confused as to if he’s in to me or not based on things so far. Advice please.
There's a guy that's just come back into my life. Known him since i was 14 or so, apparently i was his first love and according to him i am his favorite (whatever that means). He has told me he likes me and thinks i'm amazing, beautiful, all that kinda stuff. He lives about a 9 hour drive away from me and flys down to where i live frequently.
We had been mainly chatting online and via text for some time - about 4 months, i was pretty sure of where i stood with him and how he viewed me (romantically)by what he said in these online/text convos. He asked me a few times if i was interested in going up to visit him. Personally i preferred him to come here. Had phone calls as well. There was flirtation at all times, more on his part than mine, i am more reserved.
Finally he came into town (hadn't been happening, for no particular reason), and we arranged to meet up. I went to his place (i was fine with that as i already know him). I was there about 5 hours, we had no problems keeping the convo going, all good. On arriving there, he gave me the biggest longest hug, and on leaving same again - the type where you have your full body pressed against someone, arms around my waist slowly moving up and down my back. Once outside (waiting for cab), same kinda hug again, and he kissed me a couple of times, not full on french kissing but nice prolonged closed mouth kisses (defo not how you'd kiss friends normally), and asked when he could/would see me again and that he hoped it would be soon. Exchanged a couple of texts during the week, but he didn't ask me out, i wondered if that was something i should worry about but eventually just asked him via text if he wanted to get together soon again to which he said yes and we sorted out a date and time, talked to him on the phone a couple days after that before 2nd date, a little flirtation, he said he'd see me next week (2nd date).
Went over for 2nd date(?), he seemed super happy to see me and on arrival same long full body contact hugs, arms tight around my waist, squeezing, and a couple of kisses on the mouth whilst embracing. Dinner was good and again, about 5 hours or so, no issues with convo. He did make some odd comment, after trying to find a picture of a friend of his to show me, about how i'd meet said friend "if i decided i wanted to hang around". Wtf does that even mean? My response was that it depended on if he let me, to which his reply was Yes, i like you. A friend of mine thought it might be a gauging comment. I have no idea how to interpret it. I t
Eventually he asked how we would be getting me home and that was the end of the date. Goodbye was the same as the last time, long hug and some kisses. He also makes some odd little noise when hugging me - happiness sound, i dunno. Some random comment about how we should/could do this regularly, followed by a comment about getting the neighbors' talking, seeing him kissing a blonde girl (me) on his doorstep. Odd but people say weird ****, i know i did - "see you on the dance floor or sooner" was my awesome parting line. DOH!
There was a break of 4 days and i hadn't heard from him, am i obsessing over nothing? Should i be concerned? It's not entirely unusual that 2-3 days go by without us texting each other and to be fair, i haven't contacted him either. It didn't really concern me before but now it does because i actually like him, and i'm getting in my head over things. The rhythm of our text/online communication for the most part is the same, it may have slowed a little and become slightly less flirtatious since meeting IRL but i put that down to no longer just having to rely on online/text comms.
I'm also wondering why he's not "tried it on" yet beyond the kisses/hugs, not that i necessarily want it to be a one and done thing. Is it possible that it could be because he actually likes me? Or should i take how it's playing out another way. I also wonder if my weird ass farewell comment and my not contacting him could lead him to believe i'm not that interested.
He has a LOT going on, mentioned feeling overwhelmed, and also has his young son F - Sun, i tend to not contact him then as i don't want to intrude on that but we have communicated on those days as well.
I guess i don't know what to do next because we already know each other and all the advice from online seems to be geared towards someone you don't know that well - and it all suggest that you must play hard to get, the guy must chase, the woman should not, don't text too soon and if they're not contacting your it's because they're not interested etc and so forth, so i'm wondering what to believe/what to do.
This person always replies to me when i text, but sometimes there is a couple of days that pass with no contact, this has been the norm for the majority of the time. A lot of flirting when we were only texting, it's toned down a little but i also put this down to the fact it's not just online now and people behave differently somewhat, depending on the medium. I know i'm a bit different in Real Life because there's more of a vulnerability, and more at stake than if it's just contained to online/texting.
As it turns out he has Covid and it's not a walk in the park and i'm guessing why he's not communicating much. Obviously i don't want to harrass him but i also want to make sure he's ok/contact him.
Apologies if this is all over the shop/rambling a bit.
I recently got together twice with a guy I’ve known since I was a teenager. He’s always had a thing for me & told me he likes me, flirted with me last 4+ months via text/online. Kissed a couple of times the two times we met but I’m really bad at reading signals and haven’t dated much in my life tbh. I’m confused as to if he’s in to me or not based on things so far. Advice please.
There's a guy that's just come back into my life. Known him since i was 14 or so, apparently i was his first love and according to him i am his favorite (whatever that means). He has told me he likes me and thinks i'm amazing, beautiful, all that kinda stuff. He lives about a 9 hour drive away from me and flys down to where i live frequently.
We had been mainly chatting online and via text for some time - about 4 months, i was pretty sure of where i stood with him and how he viewed me (romantically)by what he said in these online/text convos. He asked me a few times if i was interested in going up to visit him. Personally i preferred him to come here. Had phone calls as well. There was flirtation at all times, more on his part than mine, i am more reserved.
Finally he came into town (hadn't been happening, for no particular reason), and we arranged to meet up. I went to his place (i was fine with that as i already know him). I was there about 5 hours, we had no problems keeping the convo going, all good. On arriving there, he gave me the biggest longest hug, and on leaving same again - the type where you have your full body pressed against someone, arms around my waist slowly moving up and down my back. Once outside (waiting for cab), same kinda hug again, and he kissed me a couple of times, not full on french kissing but nice prolonged closed mouth kisses (defo not how you'd kiss friends normally), and asked when he could/would see me again and that he hoped it would be soon. Exchanged a couple of texts during the week, but he didn't ask me out, i wondered if that was something i should worry about but eventually just asked him via text if he wanted to get together soon again to which he said yes and we sorted out a date and time, talked to him on the phone a couple days after that before 2nd date, a little flirtation, he said he'd see me next week (2nd date).
Went over for 2nd date(?), he seemed super happy to see me and on arrival same long full body contact hugs, arms tight around my waist, squeezing, and a couple of kisses on the mouth whilst embracing. Dinner was good and again, about 5 hours or so, no issues with convo. He did make some odd comment, after trying to find a picture of a friend of his to show me, about how i'd meet said friend "if i decided i wanted to hang around". Wtf does that even mean? My response was that it depended on if he let me, to which his reply was Yes, i like you. A friend of mine thought it might be a gauging comment. I have no idea how to interpret it. I t
Eventually he asked how we would be getting me home and that was the end of the date. Goodbye was the same as the last time, long hug and some kisses. He also makes some odd little noise when hugging me - happiness sound, i dunno. Some random comment about how we should/could do this regularly, followed by a comment about getting the neighbors' talking, seeing him kissing a blonde girl (me) on his doorstep. Odd but people say weird ****, i know i did - "see you on the dance floor or sooner" was my awesome parting line. DOH!
There was a break of 4 days and i hadn't heard from him, am i obsessing over nothing? Should i be concerned? It's not entirely unusual that 2-3 days go by without us texting each other and to be fair, i haven't contacted him either. It didn't really concern me before but now it does because i actually like him, and i'm getting in my head over things. The rhythm of our text/online communication for the most part is the same, it may have slowed a little and become slightly less flirtatious since meeting IRL but i put that down to no longer just having to rely on online/text comms.
I'm also wondering why he's not "tried it on" yet beyond the kisses/hugs, not that i necessarily want it to be a one and done thing. Is it possible that it could be because he actually likes me? Or should i take how it's playing out another way. I also wonder if my weird ass farewell comment and my not contacting him could lead him to believe i'm not that interested.
He has a LOT going on, mentioned feeling overwhelmed, and also has his young son F - Sun, i tend to not contact him then as i don't want to intrude on that but we have communicated on those days as well.
I guess i don't know what to do next because we already know each other and all the advice from online seems to be geared towards someone you don't know that well - and it all suggest that you must play hard to get, the guy must chase, the woman should not, don't text too soon and if they're not contacting your it's because they're not interested etc and so forth, so i'm wondering what to believe/what to do.
This person always replies to me when i text, but sometimes there is a couple of days that pass with no contact, this has been the norm for the majority of the time. A lot of flirting when we were only texting, it's toned down a little but i also put this down to the fact it's not just online now and people behave differently somewhat, depending on the medium. I know i'm a bit different in Real Life because there's more of a vulnerability, and more at stake than if it's just contained to online/texting.
As it turns out he has Covid and it's not a walk in the park and i'm guessing why he's not communicating much. Obviously i don't want to harrass him but i also want to make sure he's ok/contact him.
It sounds pretty obvious to me that he wants to be more than friends with you. I would count that as a fact and move on from there. Do you want to pursue a relationship with him? I don't think there's anything wrong with directly talking about these things with a prospective partner, but then I've always been very direct and upfront about things (absolutely hate beating around the bush). But yes, definitely is into you. There is no doubt about it.
Oh, the thing about him wanting to find a picture of his friend: He wants you to meet his friends and this one must be like his closest one or one of them (if you guys get together; the "if I decided I wanted to hang around" is his way of saying "If you'd like to get together with me as a romantic partner"). That's a great sign! He's really, really into you. (And if you don't believe that's what he was talking about-- ask him if that is what he meant and he'll say that is what he meant). And your response of "if you'll let me," he read that as you're not sure if he really wants to date you and he replied to emphasize that he is: "Yes, I like you."
And concern for why he hasn't "tried it on yet"--please don't be in a hurry to jump into bed. Make him wait. Unless of course that's all you care about. He very well could be just one of those who wants some action though to me it sounds like he's interested in something long-term. Still, people jump into bed all too soon these days and a lot of times, that's all the man wants and the woman wants more (though there's definitely the opposite going on too, of course). So my advice, especially to women, is to not jump into it quickly (even though you may want to). By my religious beliefs I would wait until marriage but not many people do that anymore (though there are some). If a man really loves you, he'll wait; don't believe the naysayers, they don't know what they're talking about.
Last edited by Basiliximab; 04-18-2022 at 03:53 PM..
He's sick, and feels like crap. Maybe reach out with something brief, and something he doesn't have to respond to, if he's not up to it. Something like "I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I hope you get better fast!" At least he would know he's on your mind.
If he does respond, maybe offer to have a pizza delivered to him, or some soup...or send him a card? Just something to let him know you're thinking about him.
Hi!
Thank you for your reply. I did think to send him some food, and a good idea re the card! i might do that too.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
