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I've got a few items laying around that I had contemplated returning...even years later. One reason is that when the gift was given we felt strongly for each other. And every time I see that thing (whatever it is) it makes me think of them. If you don't want a reminder of someone then either get rid of it or give it back. In the time following the breakup she may be having mixed feelings and even tossing around the idea of giving the item back or keeping it. And not knowing which would be the right thing to do. So she just sits pondering about it. And hearing news of a new woman in your life probably spooled up the memory and made her want to just go ahead and return it to you. It doesn't sound like it's out of spite or anything like that....that is unless she's trying to make herself visible in your present relationship. In which case that would be a little spiteful.
Just curious who should say hi first? I never had to be in a situation where my ex is at mutual parties.
Don`t let the little things eat at ya`! I wouldn`t go out of my way, but if you happen to run into her, why not say hello first? Its really not that big of a deal. You could even introduce your new girl!
After a really bad break up where I had trouble letting go, a friend "encouraged" me to throw out everything that I had received as a gift from the ex. (It didn't help)
Maybe she didn't want to fill a landfill if this is stuff you'd like too?
Or maybe the other poster is right and this is her way of sniffing around now that you've got someone new. Donate the stuff to charity if it bothers you.
As to the party... be polite, treat others as you'd want to be treated. Golden rule stuff.
My roomate said that she thinks my ex gave the gifts back to let me know she is over me. It's soo funny that she has to let me know that. Maybe I should go around to my exes and return everything just to let them know hey I am over you.
I haven't read all the responses because I have an assignment and am short on time, but I think it's a way for your ex to get back in touch with you.
I've had this happen before and that was definitely the reason. My ex asked for a cr*ppy old $7 VHS back. I e-mailed him to tell him I would put it in my mailbox and he could come collect it on day X, day Y or day Z as I wouldn't be home and it wouldn't be weird or uncomfortable that way. He responded that, no, he didn't trust "someone" not to come along and take it so we must meet in person. Without responding, I dropped the VHS into FedEx to his address with no note. I don't do the playing games thing. And there's NO need to lead someone on. I wanted to be clear.
Since you will in fact be seeing your ex at a party, you might want to drop a note to him close to the day of the party and tell him you received his package (don't comment on it...at all...just that you received it) and that you also wanted to let him know that you will be at the party and wanted to let him know that you'll be bringing someone. Let him know that you don't want it to be a surprise or be weird and that you'll hold the same attitude when he also shows up with a date.
Keep it that short, polite, totally non-nasty and totally without emotion and there will be no questions later. ETA: Oh, oops, I mean to say that this will also keep him from acting shocked/hurt/weird (not that he definitely would, but the "I'm giving aaaaaaaaaall the stuff you gave me back" bit sounds still-hurt to me) when he sees you and talks to you while you're with your new guy.
Whew, I hope the Grammar Gods aren't looking at this post. As I said...in a rush, LOL...be gentle.
If she says "hi"...or even if she doesn't--I'd simply recommend introducing your ex to your current. Warn your current girlfriend in ADVANCE...and be ready to leave if either of them make a scene.
I also have a concern. Last night me and my girlfriend went out to the same place to eat where my roomate's circle of friends hang out. It is going to be my roomate's birthday party at her mutual circle of friend's house. These circle of friends are her friends not mine but we used to hang out until I broke up with my ex and after the break up they kind of distance themselfs. Not to mention some of them were dating my ex long time ago. A few month ago things got better with the circle of friends and started to hang out more. Last night they were out and totally ignored me actually lately I noticed that I am not welcome anywhere they see me. I don't know what I did because I don't even talk to them except my roomate and one of them just broke up with her girlfriend and has a new one already. Anyway, my question is this. Now I feel like I shouln't even attend my roomate birthday party because all of her circle of friends going to be there and I would feel ackward and unwelcomed, I am not even talking about my ex. I am concerned about those friends that are acting up. It doesn't matter what the reason is because there is none, but should I tell my roomate how I feel and not to attend her birthday since it is going to be her friends house anyway or should I just ignore let it not bother me and be the bigger person and act naturally?
I also have a concern. Last night me and my girlfriend went out to the same place to eat where my roomate's circle of friends hang out. It is going to be my roomate's birthday party at her mutual circle of friend's house. These circle of friends are her friends not mine but we used to hang out until I broke up with my ex and after the break up they kind of distance themselfs. Not to mention some of them were dating my ex long time ago. A few month ago things got better with the circle of friends and started to hang out more. Last night they were out and totally ignored me actually lately I noticed that I am not welcome anywhere they see me. I don't know what I did because I don't even talk to them except my roomate and one of them just broke up with her girlfriend and has a new one already. Anyway, my question is this. Now I feel like I shouln't even attend my roomate birthday party because all of her circle of friends going to be there and I would feel ackward and unwelcomed, I am not even talking about my ex. I am concerned about those friends that are acting up. It doesn't matter what the reason is because there is none, but should I tell my roomate how I feel and not to attend her birthday since it is going to be her friends house anyway or should I just ignore let it not bother me and be the bigger person and act naturally?
I think you can go ahead and tell your roommate how you feel, but attend anyway. Friends are put in an uncomfortable position during a break-up. I have to guess that your ex is fishing for and receiving the whole "oh, he's just a b*stard" thing. I personally try to steer clear of that because except in a few cases, most breakups do take two. Even if the breakup is based on one person falling out of love, that doesn't mean the person is a b*stard or a b*tch. We do fall into and out of love, after all.
Attend the party and be polite. Ignore the friends unless they approach you.
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And there's NO need to lead someone on. I wanted to be clear.
