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Goodness, 4 to 1 is certainly not the best ratio. Usually the odds are only that bad amongst the older single people nationwide. I guess that kind of competition could be intimidating, but I still think its better than any feasible suggestions that have been made so far.
The OP hasn’t even mentioned that she attends church or that she is Christian. According to her prior posts, she’s a professional woman with an advanced degree, and may not be interested in the traditional things you mention in your other threads, like cleaning up after a man or apparently doing everything for him.
The OP hasn’t even mentioned that she attends church or that she is Christian. According to her prior posts, she’s a professional woman with an advanced degree, and may not be interested in the traditional things you mention in your other threads, like cleaning up after a man or apparently doing everything for him.
Lol, are you trying to tell me you dont appreciate my suggestions?
I agree the OP hasn't mentioned that she attends church. If you actually read my posts on this thread you might pick up why I brought it up. Ruth4Truth got it right away, but maybe not everyone is as hip to the workings of the black community as she is. Heck, I bet even the Dissenter knows WHY I said it, even though he doesnt agree that the church is what it used to be apparently.
Please dont bicker with me. Im just here for friendly discussion. It wouldnt be much of a discussion if everyone just sat here agreeing with each other all along.
For one, black men ain’t too fond of church these days. (I’m an atheist as a disclaimer along with being a black man.)
Two, the black men who are in church tend to be more traditional and want to lead all the time, even when they aren’t bringing home the bacon enough to merit that designation.
Three, the Down Low thing is definitely a thing in the black church.
He answered it for me. Thanks man.
The men in church tend to be married or not eligible bachelor's. Church is not a single man's game anymore. If you want to be the preachers mistress I suppose there is always that option.
Goodness, 4 to 1 is certainly not the best ratio. Usually the odds are only that bad amongst the older single people nationwide. I guess that kind of competition could be intimidating, but I still think its better than any feasible suggestions that have been made so far.
I think the numbers are more like 7 or 8 to 1 in church.
Lol, are you trying to tell me you dont appreciate my suggestions?
I agree the OP hasn't mentioned that she attends church. If you actually read my posts on this thread you might pick up why I brought it up. Ruth4Truth got it right away, but maybe not everyone is as hip to the workings of the black community as she is. Heck, I bet even the Dissenter knows WHY I said it, even though he doesnt agree that the church is what it used to be apparently.
Please dont bicker with me. Im just here for friendly discussion. It wouldnt be much of a discussion if everyone just sat here agreeing with each other all along.
No bickering. I think it's a good discussion. The goal is to find a suitable mate. I think she appreciates the dif points of view. If the goal is to not go another 30 or 40 years alone then get all the info you can gather. As a man I understand that I am the gatekeeper of a relationship. A woman is the gatekeeper to sex.
My opinion is that the OP should look for a more traditional relationship. Modern dating isn't for everyone. There are men who want traditional wife. I think that would work for her.
I think the OP may have quit reading responses awhile ago. She makes a post or so a year for the last maybe 10 years, which started out back then wondering where the men were. Black men, a thread about white men, one about Asian men.
Seriously, if she thinks there are no suitable black men in Minneapolis, Chicago, Georgia….all the places she’s lived, is the question really “Why is it difficult to be in a relationship in America”?
I live in one of those cities she has and work in another, the black population is 19%, I have friends and coworkers who are educated black women, half are large. Even Lizzo-large. Quite common. Im not being unsympathetic due to race I’m thinking it’s not race, education, or size that’s getting in the way.
I think it takes a man to be able to say what "men" mean by "femininity.". But I also think this could vary wildly with each man.
I think my parents have a pretty traditional marriage with gender roles. My stepfather is pretty accomplished in his field. He doesn't lift a finger around the house. Never has. My mom has always done all the cooking, after dinner cleanup, laundry, etc. We did have a cleaner come biweekly as long as I can remember.
My mom is the cheerleader in the relationship. The marriage revolves around my stepfather"s work and achievements. My mom is the supporting role. Provide moral support, encourage him, mitigate any emotional crises. Ask for nothing for herself. He will buy fine jewelry or flowers on special occasions to show his appreciation. But the relationship revolves around meeting his needs, and she goes out of her way to anticipate and meet his needs, and puts her own goals and needs on the back burner.
I think most people would agree my mom is very feminine, very pretty, very charming, and she has been a great wife to a successful and important man.
Is she happy? I don't know. She tells me "I gain satisfaction out of loving and supporting a man."
Is this what defines feminity? It is certainly submissive, and supportive. I think it's up for debate.
I've been wanting to address this before I get back to a busy week.
This might be a generational thing, but when guys today say they desire a feminine girl, I don't think they are referring to gender roles. Guys today aren't necessarily looking for a woman to cook, sew, and stuff like that. What they are referring to is demeanor.
There's a lot of misinterpretation being done here. I never said I'm out of the game. I SAID I'm looking for that one special man in the 20% who wants more than just an attractive woman, who wants me because of my other qualities. I'm not saying that looks don't enter into it because I know they do but I want him to be intrigued, interested, whatever you call it, in my other qualities too. There are always going to be better looking women out there. I have special qualities that they don't have (and vice versa), therefore, those qualities should count in some way, otherwise why bother.
There is someone out there for you right now. I know it. It's just that you haven't shared the same space and time, yet. You know, sometimes, you have to stir those molecules in the beaker to give them a chance to collide.
Chivalry is dead, and women killed it - Dave Chappelle
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