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So I had a first date with a guy I met off a dating app. We met up for drinks, and it seemed to go really well. The whole date lasted 2 hours because we didn’t realize the place closed at 10pm. We were the last ones to leave, and he said “wow we closed the place down”, I truly believe if the place didn’t close we would’ve stayed out longer. During the date I mentioned not being able to find a good Italian restaurant in my area, and he said he knew one and that if I would give him the chance to take me out again he’d love to take me there, I smiled and said they would be great. At one point during the date he wanted to bring my attention to something so he leaned in and touched my knee, which I thought was a sign of interest. We also briefly spoke about past relationships, and he told me his last relationship was a few year long and he said “so I’m not afraid of commitment. Anyway, at the end of the date he asked me how I was getting home and I said I would walk, he asked what street I was walking to and Then asked if he can walk with me since he was going to stop at his buddy’s house and he lived up that way as well (my date lives the opposite way). Anyway once we got to my street we hugged, I told him it was great meeting him, he said the same and then said “take care”. The whole date I got the impression he was into me, even on the walk home but that lackluster goodbye has me thinking differently now.
Also, let me just this was a total nice guy, like almost too nice! He was nerdy and sweet so there were no player vibes or just trying get in my pants vibes either lol.
The ball is in his court. I'd say sit tight and wait for him to contact you with a time and day for your next date. He was a bit slow off the mark by not going in for a kiss, but maybe he will next time. If he doesn't call, then he wasn't sincere, was just saying things he thought you wanted to hear. Time will tell.
From a female perspective, I don't agree with this advice, "Next date show clear physical signs of interest in him. Move close to him, put your hands on him when possible, give him sexy eyes, and possibly even move in to try and kiss him." This is behavior that's setting her up for sex on the 2nd or 3rd date and what if she doesn't want to move that fast? He'll say she led him on. A woman needs to get to know a man a little bit more before "putting hands on him", giving him "sexy eyes", and moving in to try to kiss him. C'mon. It's not necessary for a woman to be sexually aggressive like that to form a relationship with a man. If a man's interested, he'll get the ball rolling in that area.
I agree with you, however, I'll add that they probably aren't a match due to them not understanding each other. If they're having discord now, just wait until they try to make a long term relationship work. It won't.
From a female perspective, I don't agree with this advice, "Next date show clear physical signs of interest in him. Move close to him, put your hands on him when possible, give him sexy eyes, and possibly even move in to try and kiss him." This is behavior that's setting her up for sex on the 2nd or 3rd date and what if she doesn't want to move that fast? He'll say she led him on. A woman needs to get to know a man a little bit more before "putting hands on him", giving him "sexy eyes", and moving in to try to kiss him. C'mon. It's not necessary for a woman to be sexually aggressive like that to form a relationship with a man. If a man's interested, he'll get the ball rolling in that area.
Completely agree. Doing any of that so soon in the process could send the wrong message.
She’s already said she will not reach out first, and expects him to be the one to pursue - within hours of the date ending.
Being polite and thanking him for the date is not "reaching out first". It would be rude to not thank him for the time, effort, and thoughtfulness he put into the date.
So I took the advice given here and sent him a text thanking him for last night and saying a I had a good time. He responded right away saying he had a good time too and then said he’s been doing chores all day today and asked me if I’ve been doing the same, I said I was. Then he asked if I’m excited for my trip (which is tomorrow, going on a mini vacation), I said I am but have so much to do today and he responded saying I’m just like him and that I will get all done today with a wink. So we’ll see if he reaches out again.
So I had a first date with a guy I met off a dating app. We met up for drinks, and it seemed to go really well. The whole date lasted 2 hours because we didn’t realize the place closed at 10pm. We were the last ones to leave, and he said “wow we closed the place down”, I truly believe if the place didn’t close we would’ve stayed out longer. During the date I mentioned not being able to find a good Italian restaurant in my area, and he said he knew one and that if I would give him the chance to take me out again he’d love to take me there, I smiled and said they would be great. At one point during the date he wanted to bring my attention to something so he leaned in and touched my knee, which I thought was a sign of interest. We also briefly spoke about past relationships, and he told me his last relationship was a few year long and he said “so I’m not afraid of commitment. Anyway, at the end of the date he asked me how I was getting home and I said I would walk, he asked what street I was walking to and Then asked if he can walk with me since he was going to stop at his buddy’s house and he lived up that way as well (my date lives the opposite way). Anyway once we got to my street we hugged, I told him it was great meeting him, he said the same and then said “take care”. The whole date I got the impression he was into me, even on the walk home but that lackluster goodbye has me thinking differently now.
Also, let me just this was a total nice guy, like almost too nice! He was nerdy and sweet so there were no player vibes or just trying get in my pants vibes either lol.
Sounds really good. Not everyone is up to a kiss on the first date. He probably just wants to see how things go on the second. I wouldn't worry about it right now; maybe after a few times you guys have gone out. There's nothing wrong with moving slow, that's usually the best way to go. Best wishes for you two. It sounds as though you're are off to a great start. Really happy to see that he walked you home too. Definitely a good character trait.
I just saw that he didn't walk you all the way home. That is too bad, he should have. Even in a good neighborhood, you generally don't want to be walking alone at night. You just never know what can happen. That's too bad that he didn't think about this.
Saw your most recent post. Yeah, wait on him to ask you out again. It's good that he responded right away. Maybe he'll wait until you get back from the trip? But if not, then yeah something went wrong. I don't think you did anything wrong. Good job sending him a text, I think it was a good idea.
Nothing about this seems weird to me but then again I wasn't there.
This was my take as well.
I get the feeling that if he walked her all the way home and gave her a smooch on the cheek, we'd be reading the C/D mob calling him a creeper and pre-rapist.
So I took the advice given here and sent him a text thanking him for last night and saying a I had a good time. He responded right away saying he had a good time too and then said he’s been doing chores all day today and asked me if I’ve been doing the same, I said I was. Then he asked if I’m excited for my trip (which is tomorrow, going on a mini vacation), I said I am but have so much to do today and he responded saying I’m just like him and that I will get all done today with a wink. So we’ll see if he reaches out again.
Did the conversation ended with him wishing you a great trip and asking to keep in touch?
Women are not being "feminist" just for wanting to protect themselves from violence and assault.
When I say "extreme feminism" I'm not referring to real feminism as we know it, but the toxic TikTok "all men bad" kind of feminist ideology that has taken hold on a significant percentage of the Western female populace in the last 8 years or so thanks to social media.
Women obviously must be protected from any form of violence or assault carried out by men, but the extreme feminist ideology has turned it into a gender war, painting all men as inherently predatory, so it is no surprise that some men refuse to make the first move, don't want to go to fast, or are hesitant altogether.
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