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Just need a place to vent. Want some stories of people who have been through something similar so that I don't feel so alone. I am 30 year old guy and I am back in my hometown visiting family and friends. Everyone in my family and friends are either in long term relationships or married with kids. Visited one of my friends who is married has a nice house and a kid when couple of years ago we were both single guys. My older brother has his own house and kid. Little sis has a long term boyfriend. I just found out my ex girlfriend is now engaged and she removed me from friends on facebook. Luckily I have a decent job as that used to be a huge stressor in my life. Part of the reason I moved far away was to not constantly be reminded how alone and single I am.
It wouldn't bother me as much if I had a good love life as well and was moving in the right direction. I haven't been in a real relationship for a long time. The one girl that I really liked it didn't work out even though it was only a couple of dates. I mean its not like I am some stud that gets quality women attracted to me all the time. I have been single for most of my life. I remember back then some girls would complain to me that they were not in a relationship and that they were going to be single forever and be a "cat lady." Low and behold it was only couple months and they were in another relationship while I have been single for many years.
I just want to be happy. I wish I could one day be happy. In the meantime I try to remain strong and not show that it bothers me. People ask me if I am seeing anyone and it just reminds me how much of a loser I am. Hopefully one day it will all work out and this will be all behind me. I would like the traditional life like a good wife kids house.
I can relate to you OP, this is pretty much my story. I am mid-40s. The good news for you is that you are still young, and there are still plenty of interested women out there. There is still time and hope for you! Please hang in there, I know it is very difficult.
So you have no social circle at all? How is that possible?
He said he was visiting family "and friends". How is that not a social circle?
BTW, OP, being single and alone does NOT make you a loser in any sense. Being happy in life comes from a sense of self-awareness and fulfillment that you have to develop on your own. If you can add to that by developing a successful relationship with another person, that's the cherry on top, but it's not the ice cream sundae. You're that on your own.
So you have no social circle at all? How is that possible?
I have a few friends now. Its a combination of things. My friend group that are in long term relationships, have kids, or wife we just tend to naturally gravitate away from each other as they become too busy with work and family life. I still hang out with some of my single friends but we also lived far away from each other now. Another thing is I moved to a different state for work, I work alot, and work night shifts. I am looking to change that as I am not happy. My coworkers are a bit older than me too so its not the same.
I can relate to you OP, this is pretty much my story. I am mid-40s. The good news for you is that you are still young, and there are still plenty of interested women out there. There is still time and hope for you! Please hang in there, I know it is very difficult.
can you tell me your story? Why do you think it hasnt worked out for you?
can you tell me your story? Why do you think it hasnt worked out for you?
I have documented my story extensively here, so I will give a brief synopsis: I have always been pretty repulsive to men. With the exception of narcissists, toxic and abusive men, no men approach me or are open to my advances. I can get dates via online dating, but whatever energy or vibe that I give off that repels men kicks in upon first meeting. They behave weird and even get mostly silent, where they were chatty and friendly when we were connecting over text or through the app. I rarely have any second dates. I am pretty sure this is not your scenario, and I suspect there is hope for you. But I do understand the aspect of loneliness and seeing it happen for everyone around you, while you are left out. That part is tough.
I have a few friends now. Its a combination of things. My friend group that are in long term relationships, have kids, or wife we just tend to naturally gravitate away from each other as they become too busy with work and family life. I still hang out with some of my single friends but we also lived far away from each other now. Another thing is I moved to a different state for work, I work alot, and work night shifts. I am looking to change that as I am not happy. My coworkers are a bit older than me too so its not the same.
I'm afraid to say, that at your age and in your situation, you can't sit back passively and expect to build enough of a social circle that could lead to meeting your partner.
You moved to a new community. Get to know it! Join the reddit or next door group for your town/city and find out what people your age are doing. I live in a city that is very focused on the river and outdoors. People love to hike, fish, float, raft, etc. Everyone under the age of 40 seems to have a kayak hanging in their garage. There is also a lot of action at the farmer's market, Friday night outdoor concerts, brewery events, live music clubs, cannabis-growing co-ops, softball leagues, etc.
That's where I live. Your community may be different, but you are going to have to insert yourself into it. Get over any fear you may have of being the outsider or solo participant. Just get in there and let yourself be welcomed into your new life. Good luck and go have some fun!
Just need a place to vent. Want some stories of people who have been through something similar so that I don't feel so alone. I am 30 year old guy and I am back in my hometown visiting family and friends. Everyone in my family and friends are either in long term relationships or married with kids. Visited one of my friends who is married has a nice house and a kid when couple of years ago we were both single guys. My older brother has his own house and kid. Little sis has a long term boyfriend. I just found out my ex girlfriend is now engaged and she removed me from friends on facebook. Luckily I have a decent job as that used to be a huge stressor in my life. Part of the reason I moved far away was to not constantly be reminded how alone and single I am.
It wouldn't bother me as much if I had a good love life as well and was moving in the right direction. I haven't been in a real relationship for a long time. The one girl that I really liked it didn't work out even though it was only a couple of dates. I mean its not like I am some stud that gets quality women attracted to me all the time. I have been single for most of my life. I remember back then some girls would complain to me that they were not in a relationship and that they were going to be single forever and be a "cat lady." Low and behold it was only couple months and they were in another relationship while I have been single for many years.
I just want to be happy. I wish I could one day be happy. In the meantime I try to remain strong and not show that it bothers me. People ask me if I am seeing anyone and it just reminds me how much of a loser I am. Hopefully one day it will all work out and this will be all behind me. I would like the traditional life like a good wife kids house.
You don't need to be married to buy a house. That's part of what you want that you can do without a partner.
He said he was visiting family "and friends". How is that not a social circle?
How is having friends back in his home town helpful for where he lives now? The question was meant to ask about his current social circle where he lives, not his old high school circle back home.
OP, do you have a social life where you live? If not, you need to circulate, and work at building one. How do you spend your leisure time after work and on weekends? What kinds of activities do you participate in, and what kind of local events to you attend? What are your hobbies and interests? Look around your community to see what groups, clubs, and projects there are, that might fit your interests, or that seem like something new that would be fun to try.
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