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When I was 17, I dated a man who was 6 1/2 years older than me. I never loved him. The reason why I went out with him was because he had a car, and to a high school student, that was everything. I was naive, and incredibly stupid. I won't lie, I went out with him for almost 4 years trying to break up with him every month yet was unable to do so. Almost 4 years later, I finally broke up with him with a tortured body and soul. Not to mention, a butt load of debt. I will not say what he did to me, as I'm sure he could probably say the same about me. It was a hurtful relationship I ended and I feel like even after 7 years after I broke up with him, I still feel rage whenever I think about him.
I am now married with a wonderful man whom I've known for 8 years and married for almost 4 years. I try my best not to think about the past however, every month when I pay for the debt I need to carry because of him. (Even after I sued him for $5000.00 for the TV he used my credit to buy and won) I still feel angry. About a year ago, my husband finally helped me pay off the debt I accrued while I was with my ex, I thought my painful story and rage would end. However, when I think of him, I still feel mad. Why is this? I tried so hard to let it go, but it was like a demon that possessed me and made me hate so much.....
Anyone who's broken up with your ex but still carry on the spiritual burden with you? Share your stories....
Sorry I didn't exactly clarify. He used my credit to get himself an HD TV, which at the time (2001) was quite expensive. $4000.00 something expensive. I had to sue him in small claims court after our break up to get him to pay off that TV because the TV was at his place. Why did I let him use my credit to buy TV and my credit card for other things? Due to my stupidity, that's the only thing I could say....
My credit was not damaged after I broke up with him. I was still making minumum payments just so I could keep my good credit. At least I was smart enough not to declare bankruptcy because of him, even though I had that thought at the time.
When I was 17, I dated a man who was 6 1/2 years older than me. I never loved him. The reason why I went out with him was because he had a car, and to a high school student, that was everything. I was naive, and incredibly stupid. I won't lie, I went out with him for almost 4 years trying to break up with him every month yet was unable to do so. Almost 4 years later, I finally broke up with him with a tortured body and soul. Not to mention, a butt load of debt. I will not say what he did to me, as I'm sure he could probably say the same about me. It was a hurtful relationship I ended and I feel like even after 7 years after I broke up with him, I still feel rage whenever I think about him.
I am now married with a wonderful man whom I've known for 8 years and married for almost 4 years. I try my best not to think about the past however, every month when I pay for the debt I need to carry because of him. (Even after I sued him for $5000.00 for the TV he used my credit to buy and won) I still feel angry. About a year ago, my husband finally helped me pay off the debt I accrued while I was with my ex, I thought my painful story and rage would end. However, when I think of him, I still feel mad. Why is this? I tried so hard to let it go, but it was like a demon that possessed me and made me hate so much.....
Anyone who's broken up with your ex but still carry on the spiritual burden with you? Share your stories....
I will not go into details though they are similiar!
One thing I will state is that by dwelling on what was and the past will make you jaded and bitter! You need to learn to let go and accept what is because reversal is not possible! Be thankful that you found real love and yes you may have gained bad credit and payments but it could be much worse. Find peace then your life will be much clearer!
When I was 17, I dated a man who was 6 1/2 years older than me. I never loved him. The reason why I went out with him was because he had a car, and to a high school student, that was everything. I was naive, and incredibly stupid. I won't lie, I went out with him for almost 4 years trying to break up with him every month yet was unable to do so. Almost 4 years later, I finally broke up with him with a tortured body and soul. Not to mention, a butt load of debt. I will not say what he did to me, as I'm sure he could probably say the same about me. It was a hurtful relationship I ended and I feel like even after 7 years after I broke up with him, I still feel rage whenever I think about him.
I am now married with a wonderful man whom I've known for 8 years and married for almost 4 years. I try my best not to think about the past however, every month when I pay for the debt I need to carry because of him. (Even after I sued him for $5000.00 for the TV he used my credit to buy and won) I still feel angry. About a year ago, my husband finally helped me pay off the debt I accrued while I was with my ex, I thought my painful story and rage would end. However, when I think of him, I still feel mad. Why is this? I tried so hard to let it go, but it was like a demon that possessed me and made me hate so much.....
Anyone who's broken up with your ex but still carry on the spiritual burden with you? Share your stories....
lol... Girl.. That guy sounds like he needs to be slapped upside the head. I'm happy you're with a good man now, though! Go you!
I have to agree with Ivana Trump on this one, though... "Remember girls, don't get mad, get everything!" lol -- j/k
I'm not going to share my story, though. -_- Not worth the stress of writing it.
Emotions aren't usually rational. But when I get angry thinking about my ex and the cheating and the lies, I just try to remember that the anger hurts only me. It eats away at me and he doesn't even know about it.
I'm no psychologist, but I have heard that anger is usually actually hurt. Maybe if you take the time to acknowledge the hurt, the anger won't be so powerful and you will be able to work thorough it.
The rage you are feeling, imo, have nothing to do with debt.... at all.
When we are with someone, and especially for a great amt of time, we feel like things are just suposed to be wonderful. When they aren't.. I suppose we don't feel so wonderful about it.
You seem to hint that you were not the best to him, either.
I went through a bad relationship with my wasband, and we were together more than 16 years, start to finish. We have two children, so although we are separated now, we will never truly be separated, because we share the bond of these two wonderful kids.
I have plenty to be angry and resentful over. Plenty. The way he treated me, the way he treated our kids. The things he did to me.
I am angry, I am not resentful. The thing with that anger... it is not a part of the relationship we had, but a part of the relationship we have.
I just want to be able to effectively coparent with the man, but now he has become a bad father after all of these years. That is what angers me.
You see, it has nothing to do with me, the anger, but how he is treating our children. I can live with the things he has done to me, the way he still talks to me, but do something against my children, and we are in a different ballpark then.
I also know from experience about hate. I learned about hate after my mother passed, and my sister was being so terrible, so greedy, just rotten. I grew hate in my heart for her, and I could not take it.
Hate in your heart... it eats one alive. I felt like it was killing me. I spoke with my preacher and he led me to where I needed to be, and not long after, the hate left me.
I think this is why I cannot hate my husband. Don't get me wrong, I hate the things he does some kinda bad... but not the man.
I have no idea your relationship with this man you speak of.. but anger and resentment will get you absolutely nowhere, and you are feeling that as I type. You are stuck in this terrible time warp, thinking of him, and the anger he brings you, all the while, in a great relationship with your husband.
KNow what happened in that relationship, accept it for what it WAS, and move on. I sit here and you are probably thinking, she does not know what she is talking about, but I so do,. if you only knew.
Own it, because it is yours, but let it go. Forgive it, but you don't have to forget it, not yet.
KNow that the things in our past make us who we are today. Who do you want to be today? A bitter, resentful, angry woman? I didn't want to be that.
Accept the things that happened, they are gone. Who are you today? All anger and resentment aside. Are you a different person, or are you that same naive little girl? Have you grown? You are with this new wonderful man... Married for four years now.
Your past made you who you are today.
In that, your present will make you who you are in the future, as will the people around you. Who do you want to be in the future? Do you want to be this angered woman? This bitter and resentful woman? Wouldn't life be so much easier, were you not her?
Put this man in the past. Know he exists, but leave him be. You have children with him? If your answer is no, then he has no place in your current life, or your future, but your husband does.
When that other man creeps into your thoughts.. push him out and think of your life now. Don't carry him around like this... don't let your present day thoughts mold who you will be in the days, months, and years to come.
Make a change in your life, girl... you can mold your future. Like a piece of clay. Let him go. Also... like I mentioned before... I get the feeling that you weren't the best person you could have been in that relationship, either.
Accept the things you did, know not to repeat them, because life is a learning lesson, every day...
Accept them, and let them go good luck to you, and I am sorry I have rambled so..
That which does not kill us only makes us stronger.
It's a lesson learned- and you need to accept that this is how things are and don't hold onto the anger. You're in a good place now- enjoy that rather than dwelling on the past. As long as you let the past consume you- minimally or exponentially, you are giving him power over your life, love, and happiness.
When I read the heading of your post, I thought to myself how normal it is to feel anger in a situation like this and was prepared to tell you how you'll be able to let it go as you recover and move on. However, EIGHT years!?!?! I would truly suggest you consider some counseling. That is a very long time to hold anger in your heart towards someone.
Obviously he was a jerk and took advantage. The world is full of jerks. Obviously you didn't exercise the best judgement in your decisions. It happens - you were very, very young. Now is the time to stop letting him have any power or position in your life. You won and I would hate for you to look back at your young life when you're 50 and realize how much energy and time you wasted remembering and hating him instead of appreciating and enjoying where you are. Don't allow it. Again, I think some counseling might help you find the direction you need.
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Go you! 
