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Hi people.
ldk if there's anything l can do about this or something l should do, some my have some thoughts though and l'd appreciate hearing them.
We've been together 5yrs both divorced around the same time before we met. We had an immediate everything really, and more , but l was also still in not that greater place and so at the same time we were also a bit rocky over our first 18mths or so. But everything was there for us though, in us and she got us and me through.
So weird how tables can turn though and about 3yrs ago massive dramas ongoing were just beginning for her next. Can't go into detail much but huge on going court cases with ex , massive stress that went on 2yrs, work, housing and health hassles, then Covid effected everything - things were postponed time and time again , lawyers had to quit or she couldn't even see one, she got laid off 4 times, moved 4times, health and MH problems, and on and on. She was already in a bad way prior from ex, but she got us through but then all this since.
And l've supported her in every way l can and gotten her through 100 times since but a lot of this stuff is still going now, over 3yrs later. The court cases are done finally but she's if anything had even more stress since with everything else.
Well, now she's says she just doesn't think she can cope with a relationship anymore, she's just too sick,burned out and her nerves are also totally shot. Says anything she's got left, nothing, she needs just to get through the rest. She doesn't think she'll get better bc she's just too tired or it all and life- Poor thing has also had just a very hard life too but then all this other stuff.
l don't wanna lose her or us, but ldk what else l can do, or say, or offer to help her or us and it's also drained the hell out of me too supporting her not that l minded but the thing is, now this. Maybe l just have to let it be, not that l can do much l suppose but we have of course talked a lot buttttt, she's still feeling how she is. ldk whether to just be there for her for awhile longer, walk away or wth.
If someone is at the point of saying they no longer want a relationship, I don't imagine there's much that can be done about it. It sucks, but respecting her wishes is the best course of action.
If she wants to go, then....you have no choice but to oblige. Will it hurt...probably but there's no reward without risk. Sorry this happened. Relationships run their course but I'm sure you both will be fine.
Yeah , l know how it all sounds. Thing is all her crap , will finally be finished by Christmas and she was gonna move back into mine.
Our plans been right through to just get her through it and then we can get back to life and us and in time she'd find her feet and some happiness again, recover. People turn around in time, after going through things, they can go on to be happy again.
But she says she can't recover it's all just taken too much out of her.
But anyway, never the less unfortunately you guys are probably right. lf she could just feel positives and hope again, but she just can't lately.
Thanks for that , never know l suppose. We have some very rare and hard to find stuff so although l don't wanna be waiting around living in hope bc she could well be right butttt,still, maybe some time, well !
She needs to decompress- A spa vacation or any little get away to regroup. She is coming out of a title wave spin these past few years. Tbh- She needs your support despite her proclamation that she can't handle a relationship.
The worse thing she can do right now is to shut off those that care or are working towards solid footing.
Even if its just day trips somewhere....Do SOMETHING to refresh her.
No offense but that ma'larky line about if you love someone set them free....has a different ending....If they come back...toss them out again. (Sorry my parents said....no second chances and I tend to understand that line of thinking).
Beyond that remark I just made, do try to see if she is willing to take a breather from life and enjoy a day or two away from the ruckus that has been unsettling her.
Thanks for those thoughts, very appreciated.
But yeah,she's 1200k away atm, next few mths, and l was suppose to go up next wk actually. Finally she'd have a wk's gap no appointments work lawyers doctors, nothing and room for some tlc and spoiling.
Buttttt, more stuff's come up, she won't get time, the straw that broke it unfortunately.
l'll add to this last 3yrs though hasn't all been just about her. She's an amazing person even with everything she's going through l've had other stuff too since myself. She's just there, offering, caring, supporting, unasked.
Hi people.
ldk if there's anything l can do about this or something l should do, some my have some thoughts though and l'd appreciate hearing them.
We've been together 5yrs both divorced around the same time before we met. We had an immediate everything really, and more , but l was also still in not that greater place and so at the same time we were also a bit rocky over our first 18mths or so. But everything was there for us though, in us and she got us and me through.
So weird how tables can turn though and about 3yrs ago massive dramas ongoing were just beginning for her next. Can't go into detail much but huge on going court cases with ex , massive stress that went on 2yrs, work, housing and health hassles, then Covid effected everything - things were postponed time and time again , lawyers had to quit or she couldn't even see one, she got laid off 4 times, moved 4times, health and MH problems, and on and on. She was already in a bad way prior from ex, but she got us through but then all this since.
And l've supported her in every way l can and gotten her through 100 times since but a lot of this stuff is still going now, over 3yrs later. The court cases are done finally but she's if anything had even more stress since with everything else.
Well, now she's says she just doesn't think she can cope with a relationship anymore, she's just too sick,burned out and her nerves are also totally shot. Says anything she's got left, nothing, she needs just to get through the rest. She doesn't think she'll get better bc she's just too tired or it all and life- Poor thing has also had just a very hard life too but then all this other stuff.
l don't wanna lose her or us, but ldk what else l can do, or say, or offer to help her or us and it's also drained the hell out of me too supporting her not that l minded but the thing is, now this. Maybe l just have to let it be, not that l can do much l suppose but we have of course talked a lot buttttt, she's still feeling how she is. ldk whether to just be there for her for awhile longer, walk away or wth.
I'm going to say this before I read everyone else's responses...
What if you gave her the space of say...3 months, with the understanding you will check in with her at the end of 3 months.
I can definitely see how maybe she's just bone tired of life...and she could use a break I guess.
But that said...while I can see giving her some time...don't give her too much time. You are not disposable. You are not at her beck and call. You all have been together long enough that it seems to me, she either see's the value of having you in her life, or she does not...and after a short break...she will need to decide. (my thoughts anyway.)
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