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When men come on here proclaiming they do not care how much a woman makes, I immediately tell them they SHOULD. Or more specifically, they should care about her earning potential, spending habits and financial stability (no matter what the income level).
Most people do and/or should (in majority of cases) be marry someone they are financially compatible with, or there is a power imbalance that can cause problems when life catches you by the short hairs.
I think the pictures one uses for OLD shows what they are after. If a guy is posting "model" like instagram style posts, and proclaims he is just looking for the girl next door to settle down with, I wouldn't be buying it.
I think the reason that men care less about a woman's financial prospects than a woman cares about a man's financial prospect is that if you are dating but keeping finances seperate and not planning on getting married or having kids with this woman well who cares? If you are getting married to have kids, a women's finances in that situation may be a lot less reliable, she may want to stay at home with the kids, when the kids are young or she may switch careers to have a better work family balance or even if she does work, child care may eat up a lot of her earnings, so her past financial station in life is a less useful guide to predicting what your financial situation as a couple will look like.
It's like a cell phone app game based on judging people. Which seems like some pretty unpleasant behavior, even allowing for the number of men who got nasty with them in the past. Like, they aren't all like that and you're playing with the feelings of actual people in there sooner or later. I don't dig it.
In addition to the whole range from "seeking a spouse" to "looking for a good time" to "I just need to make a friend." And whatever % are bots, fakes, or scammers. Frankly I marvel that people even continue to bother with these apps, let alone consider them to be "the way it's done, and the only way it CAN be done in the modern age."
Yes I am getting jerked around and ghosted a ton and my logical ISTJ brain is often screaming at me that this is draining my time, draining my self esteem and other emotional resources and is overall unhealthy and downright toxic. Yet I want to find a woman to be a partner and don't see many alternatives so I keep chugging away.
So here's a question. Let's say you are choosing between two women and you like them equally in all respects (intelligence, personality, character, etc.) but there are a couple of big differences between the two. Here are the descriptions.
Woman A: Woman A was top of her class at Stanford GSB. She works in VC and makes up to $1.2 million per year. Great personality, honest, caring, wicked smart and mentors at risk youth on the weekends. She owns 2 homes, including a vacation home in Nantucket. She has over $5 million in savings and investments. You consider her at best to be a 5/10 on the looks scale.
Woman B: Woman B was a good enough student to transfer from Merritt Community College to Cal Poly Humboldt, a 4-year university. She majored in social work and now works as a social worker earning 41K per year. Great personality, honest, caring and wicked smart. She is fiscally responsible but can't afford to live on her own in a relatively high COL region, so she lives with two other women. She had a car, but it gave out on her and she can't afford a new one, and now must rely on the city's public transit network. You consider her to be no lower than a 7.5/10 on your looks scale.
Which one would you choose?
most men would take the prettyer girl. the millionaire aint paying for no dates so whuts the point ?
Well...yeah, you're not wrong. But THOSE people aren't obsessing about finding the right guy, or crying because they're not tall enough, skinny enough, smart enough or rich enough either.
I don't think that's true either. People are messy. Even brilliant people who change the world can be messy and insecure. You can be a moral authority while simultaneously carrying on affairs with multiple women, as was the case for MLK. The idea that insecurity, even insecurity to a very significant degree, is equivalent to a lack of spiritual depth or maturity is misguided IMO. We are all hypocrites and walking contradictions at the end of the day.
I don't think that's true either. People are messy. Even brilliant people who change the world can be messy and insecure. You can be a moral authority while simultaneously carrying on affairs with multiple women, as was the case for MLK. The idea that insecurity, even insecurity to a very significant degree, is equivalent to a lack of spiritual depth or maturity is misguided IMO. We are all hypocrites and walking contradictions at the end of the day.
Well then, here's a question for you: Do you think MLK would be (if he had the opportunity) coming to a relationship forum obsessing about not being rich enough, tall enough, funny enough, ad nauseum, about finding a partner? Because I don't.
Now...IMO, women who say they won't date this that or the other are probably too picky. But hey, it's their right. If they have hard lines they won't cross, more power to them...but of course, the flip side of that is...plainly and simply, they limit their opportunities, but I suppose they would see it as they are limiting their exposure to problems (maybe.)
And I'm sincerely asking, no malice intended, have I come across as equalizing insecurity to a lack of spiritual depth, or lack of maturity?
Cause...I sure didn't mean to. Lord knows, when I was younger, I had PLENTY of insecurities. Things I had to work through. I used to be TERRIBLY shy. I used to wonder why guys wouldn't look at me or pay attention to me...but at the same time, be afraid to talk to a guy, or even LOOK at a guy. I get it.
Well then, here's a question for you: Do you think MLK would be (if he had the opportunity) coming to a relationship forum obsessing about not being rich enough, tall enough, funny enough, ad nauseum, about finding a partner? Because I don't.
MLK the grad student? Possibly. He was a plagiarist so he likely would have had the time.
Oh jesus christ. Hair color is an unacceptable trait. Shoot, he played video games. Pardon me while I interrupt you and your girl crew playing hours of candy crush and screwing around on snapchat and Instagram all freeking day. Yeah ok enjoy yourself. Obviously no man is retarded enough to see the fruits you offer
And yet, people get into relationship all the time.
The reality is that the pickiness expressed in this post is representative of only a fraction of women once you step outside of online dating, which itself generally breeds this kind of laundry list of requirements. Why because people mistakenly feel like they have infinite opportunity on there.
Meeting people spontaneously doesn't generally happen with such a close-minded approach. If that was the case, people before online dating would all have been single: the number of potential mate you actually meet naturally would be prohibitively small given the tiny fraction you ended up to.
In other words, your numbers don't reflect reality.
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