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Shelato's got the best idea. Get offline and get into something real. I don't know - what do you do when you're doing something you like? Outdoors stuff? Dead easy to find guys there. Take a class on how to get better at it. Civics stuff? Now's the perfect time to get involved there. Plenty of guys into that. Music? Ditto. Crafts? Well, less guys there, but at least there's tons of women involved in that and plenty of groups wherein you can make friends - better than some loser guy who's not reliable. Maybe one of them will have a brother. A book club? Depending on what kind, plenty of guys into that, too. Church or Atheistic meetups? Find them online (more reliable than finding guys online through Match, apparently)
All this stuff sound stuffy? Get a dog and go out walking with it. Plenty of guys....you know the rest.
If it weren't for bad luck with dating I'd have no luck at all...
the last guy I went out with ghosted me after making very specific plans, the guy before that turned out to have herpes....that sums up 2022 for me...I'm going to be alone forever.
I'm a firm believer in the harder you try and make something happen, the less likely it will happen. Maybe try and pause the Match.com profile for a while and just force yourself to get out into the real world a bit more, go to parties with friends, join some fitness groups, etc. Bet you anything you'd have better luck.
I've never really got into online dating but I imagine that's a mine field on many levels. I watched "The Tinder Swindler" on Netflix a while back, my goodness. I know that's an extreme but sort of highlights how fake and dishonest people can be online.
Shelato's got the best idea. Get offline and get into something real. I don't know - what do you do when you're doing something you like? Outdoors stuff? Dead easy to find guys there. Take a class on how to get better at it. Civics stuff? Now's the perfect time to get involved there. Plenty of guys into that. Music? Ditto. Crafts? Well, less guys there, but at least there's tons of women involved in that and plenty of groups wherein you can make friends - better than some loser guy who's not reliable. Maybe one of them will have a brother. A book club? Depending on what kind, plenty of guys into that, too. Church or Atheistic meetups? Find them online (more reliable than finding guys online through Match, apparently)
All this stuff sound stuffy? Get a dog and go out walking with it. Plenty of guys....you know the rest.
Good luck.
Oh, please, like I never thought of that.
I'm in a hiking/camping/kayaking club, two singing groups and a book club. I go to church and belong to a busy gym. I play Hero Quest twice a month at a Game Store. I meet plenty of people of all kinds. Just none that are interested in dating me.
In the past 16 years I have dated exactly two guys that I met in real life, and it isn't because I'm sitting at home doing nothing.
Last edited by Stagemomma; 11-04-2022 at 12:59 PM..
These things will happen especially with online dating. If this is only the 3rd guy you've connected with online in 2022, that tells me you're not that committed to it. If you're seriously looking to find someone you have to up that number from three per year to at least 10, it's a numbers game.
Not that I'm not committed, but I've been pretty passive. There have been more than 3 guys I've been in touch with this year...only 3 materialized into actual dates.
Over the years, I've had better success with guys who contacted me first, rather than with guys I contacted first. So I have stopped initiating contact. That strategy is not working for me, so I'm going to initiate contact with a few guys this weekend just to get back into the swing of it.
Men like that are cowards. They string you along instead of cutting things off like a decent person would. At least ghost the person, don't tell them you're going to call, don't make plans with them. Only cowards and sadists do that. My ex was both. Made plans for an actual trip together knowing he was never going to go.
Then lied about the whole thing.
The truth is fine, just say I'm not into this and we both move on. What's with all the lies and drama and stringing and confusing people....??? And then lying about the lies. They must enjoy it as a kind of drama or like to make people confused and see that as power or something.
Men like that are cowards. They string you along instead of cutting things off like a decent person would. At least ghost the person, don't tell them you're going to call, don't make plans with them. Only cowards and sadists do that. My ex was both. Made plans for an actual trip together knowing he was never going to go.
Then lied about the whole thing.
The truth is fine, just say I'm not into this and we both move on. What's with all the lies and drama and stringing and confusing people....??? And then lying about the lies. They must enjoy it as a kind of drama or like to make people confused and see that as power or something.
But that is the world of online dating and everyone knows this now.
And they continue to accept it.
If you got stood up in real life at a restaurant would you agree to go back a second time to be stood up ?
If he wanted to call you, and found himself super busy, he would have shot you a text explaining his situation.
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