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Sort of. There is a thing called hedonic adaptation. If you look at people who win the lottery and people who become quadreplegics, after three years they are about as happy as they were before their sudden good or bad fortune. The good things that happen to us, we start taking for granted and they no longer bring us such joy.This is the reason after you get a new car, the thrill kind of goes away after a while. But our happiness resets after really bad news as well. We accept the situation and start to move forward with our lives. Your first break up that seemed like such a big deal at the time, you might no longer care about her at all anymore.
I have 4 older brothers. When I was in my 20's my older brothers went to see a local band and raved about how hot the lead singer was and I remember thinking this woman is 30, she was just way too old. I remember in my 30's just really not being excited about women in their 40's and now that I am in my 40's these same women look great. As we get older it is not that younger women stop looking good, but the universe of women that looks good gets a lot bigger as we get older because our standards have dropped and it is a great thing.
The bolded sounds badly worded, lol I'm assuming you mean what looks good gets bigger not because of dropped standards but expanding them to include more than hot = 18 year old body.
The bolded sounds badly worded, lol I'm assuming you mean what looks good gets bigger not because of dropped standards but expanding them to include more than hot = 18 year old body.
When I was in my 20's my older brothers were making this big deal about seeing The Skirts which was this local all wmen band with a bunch of women in their 30's but I was probably 24 at the time and I really do remember just thinking that my older brothers had no standards for being so willing to find any women in their 30's attractive. The Skirts did nothing for me. I was just disappointed in my brothers for making such a fuss about them. Women in their 30's just weren't moving the needle for me at that age. When my nephew was in a high school play I remember asking both of my nephews about a couple of girls in that play and both of them were completely convinced that I had no apparent standards. Neither of them were willing consider any of the girls I was asking about. Again they had that same sort of disappointment in me that I previously had in my older brothers.
Now I am not sure how old BajanYankee is, but I am assuming that he is younger than me and from that perspective it is going to seem like my standards have been dropping and in some respects maybe they have.
Now you are also right though Katan, how I am currently experiencing this is that more and more women are just seeming more attractive. The pool of women who move my needle keeps expanding as I get older and I really do enjoy that.
As we get older it is not that younger women stop looking good, but the universe of women that looks good gets a lot bigger as we get older because our standards have dropped and it is a great thing.
Not for me. If I find a 48-year old woman attractive, I find her attractive relative to younger women, not just women her age, and not because my standards have declined. I hold everyone to the same standard. That might change when I'm 75 lol.
Renee Goldsberry doesn't look good for a 52-year old. She just looks good.
Seriously. It's one of my giant peeves in this forum, people trying to care what broad swaths of people find attractive or appealing. Doesn't matter. It's about what your people, or your person, likes.
My wife used to say she doesn't know why I love looking at her body, with all the "train tracks" (surgical scars). I tell her the "tracks" don't bother me a bit. Because I know, without some of those scars, she wouldn't be here today. After a back injury, she couldn't do anything that involved standing for more than 5-10 minutes without pain. With that she started gaining weight. Standing 5'1", she got up to 250 lbs. After the gastric sleeve surgery she thought might also help the pain in her hip, she lost right at 100 lbs. Now she thinks I'm crazy for calling her a beautiful lady with all the rolls after the weight loss. I keep telling her she's beautiful to me and I'll keep saying it until she agrees with me, then I'll keep saying it long past that. I've never fallen in love with the body. I fell in love with the person IN the body.
If somebody at any age has a tight toned body, they probably expect their partner to have the same goals, and why shouldn't they? It's a shared interest.
Not for me. If I find a 48-year old woman attractive, I find her attractive relative to younger women, not just women her age, and not because my standards have declined. I hold everyone to the same standard. That might change when I'm 75 lol.
Renee Goldsberry doesn't look good for a 52-year old. She just looks good.
How sure are you that your standards haven't changed?
With a spinal cord injury there is not this one day where you notice this sudden change. Same for the lottery winners. It takes on average roughly three years for both of these effects to be detectable and the people involved generally aren't consciously aware of this change while its happening.
I thought Renee Goldberry was cute too, but I am in my 40's. If you showed her picture to a bunch of 17 year old boys, what would they think?
My hunch is that they would be a lot more interested in some girl they know at school because Renee is just too old for them.
I answered because someone ask, I didn’t start the conversation but since it has started . . . A toned body is a preference just like coffee or cheese, some people prefer decaf, others don’t. Some prefer dark roast, some don’t, some people like cheddar, some like colby jack. If a non toned body does it for the guy then thats fantastic, thats more toned ones for the population. Also depends on what you call toned, some call toned a model, some call toned not fat, and some people that are severely obese might call toned overweight but only by a hundred pounds or so. Then there’s the BMI scale, thats a pretty hard chart to live up to and it takes a lot of dedication but it can be done. In order to be considered normal weight on the BMI you have to almost eat by the recommended daily allowances, like 3oz of meat, 1/2 cup vegetables, that sort of thing. I can understand why many people choose to be overweight and not toned, its very hard work and its an everyday effort. Why is more evident to the younger people once they reach their 40’s or mid 40’s. Thats when blood pressure starts to go up, things can fall apart pretty fast after 40 if a sensible diet is not followed, and if your way over the BMI scale and considered obese its harder to lose those pounds as you get older. Once older your skin is not as elastic, so while your younger it makes a lot of sense to lose the pounds if you just will. Getting to a normal weight on the BMI, its a very tall mountain to climb, especially for someone who is severely overweight, but if you do it you’ll be so proud of yourself.
How sure are you that your standards haven't changed?
Very sure. When I find older women attractive, it's because they haven't lost much of anything to the aging process. So Gabrielle Union, Selma Hayek, Sofia Vegara and Salli Richardson were all very attractive to me throughout their 40s. Maybe not as attractive as they once were, but that just means they were like 8s instead of 9s.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shelato
I thought Renee Goldberry was cute too, but I am in my 40's. If you showed her picture to a bunch of 17 year old boys, what would they think?
My hunch is that they would be a lot more interested in some girl they know at school because Renee is just too old for them.
When I was 17, we had a Spanish teacher who was probably in her late 30s to early 40s who was a SMOKE SHOW. Every guy wanted to be in her class. The demand for Spanish was so high I couldn't even enroll in the class. If a woman is visually appealing then she is visually appealing, and men from 15 to 105 will find her arousing, hence the "Hey Miss Parker" jokes that have been around since the 90s.
I think this is a case of you substituting in your thinking/tastes/experiences with that of most men. I can't speak for most men either, but I do think that a person's standards will adapt based on the type of people available to them. If you're a successful 6'4 fund manager and you're fortunate enough to have retained a decent amount of your youthful looks (including a full head of hair) by age 45, then you could reasonably expect to date attractive women in that 27-31 age range. An average height man with an average income and average looks who's been struck by male pattern baldness could not reasonably expect to date those same women. So his standards have to "evolve" since he doesn't have much of a choice if he wants to enjoy the company of women.
I think where you live also matters. If you're living in a far out exurb where you're encountering frumpy women (and men) who have given up on maintaining appearances, then your standards will likely change. Add that with what I mentioned above about your own attractiveness declining. But if you're in a hip urban neighborhood of a major city or in a tony upper middle class suburb, you're going to see many more fit, good-looking people IME. The OP says she lives in NY and a lot of these 40+ women in the city are doing Solid Core, Orange Theory, SoulCycle, yoga and pilates and they are walking around Whole Foods and Trader Joe's in yoga pants looking like snacks. I think there's greater pressure to keep up your looks. So if men are encountering tight bodies in women between the ages of 18 and 50 on a daily basis, then their physical standards will probably be higher.
I'm in NY metro area. If your women doesn't have a gym body your "boys" will clown you for being a loser. It is what it is. Here it's related to your income and social status. I didn't make the rules.
Very sure. When I find older women attractive, it's because they haven't lost much of anything to the aging process. So Gabrielle Union, Selma Hayek, Sofia Vegara and Salli Richardson were all very attractive to me throughout their 40s. Maybe not as attractive as they once were, but that just means they were like 8s instead of 9s.
When I was 17, we had a Spanish teacher who was probably in her late 30s to early 40s who was a SMOKE SHOW. Every guy wanted to be in her class. The demand for Spanish was so high I couldn't even enroll in the class. If a woman is visually appealing then she is visually appealing, and men from 15 to 105 will find her arousing, hence the "Hey Miss Parker" jokes that have been around since the 90s.
I think this is a case of you substituting in your thinking/tastes/experiences with that of most men. I can't speak for most men either, but I do think that a person's standards will adapt based on the type of people available to them. If you're a successful 6'4 fund manager and you're fortunate enough to have retained a decent amount of your youthful looks (including a full head of hair) by age 45, then you could reasonably expect to date attractive women in that 27-31 age range. An average height man with an average income and average looks who's been struck by male pattern baldness could not reasonably expect to date those same women. So his standards have to "evolve" since he doesn't have much of a choice if he wants to enjoy the company of women.
I think where you live also matters. If you're living in a far out exurb where you're encountering frumpy women (and men) who have given up on maintaining appearances, then your standards will likely change. Add that with what I mentioned above about your own attractiveness declining. But if you're in a hip urban neighborhood of a major city or in a tony upper middle class suburb, you're going to see many more fit, good-looking people IME. The OP says she lives in NY and a lot of these 40+ women in the city are doing Solid Core, Orange Theory, SoulCycle, yoga and pilates and they are walking around Whole Foods and Trader Joe's in yoga pants looking like snacks. I think there's greater pressure to keep up your looks. So if men are encountering tight bodies in women between the ages of 18 and 50 on a daily basis, then their physical standards will probably be higher.
Lol @ looking like snacks. Yeah. We men used to have to pay at the club with singles for the free view we get now. I love it.
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