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I agree with this post but I want to add that MAYBE OR MAYBE NOT will "the right person find that appealing." But if you live for yourself and love spending time with yourself, OP, you won't care whether or not "the right person" comes along. Maybe they will and maybe they won't and either option will be OK for you, I promise.
True, that. I don't buy that every pot has a lid. So yes, if you're happy anyway, you're happy anyway. I look at life like cake and relationships like icing. Icing can enhance an already good cake, but a good cake doesn't need icing. It tastes great all by itself. And the wrong icing can totally ruin the cake.
Purely because, if someone is interested in having sex with you, they've already made up their mind that they like you. If they're at that point, it's not borderline where they're thinking about whether they find you attractive or not. They already decided that they 100% do. They like your personality, energy, looks, etc.
Something small like having some wrinkles or some loose skin or whatever blemishes isn't going to be a dealbreaker.
This depends on what you mean by "tight." I don't think any older man expects a 40-year old woman to have the same body she had between 18-22. But at the same time, I don't think most men would want a FUPA, rolls, excessive cellulite, love handles, etc. You can have a very flattering shape at 40 even if you aren't as "tight" as you were at 20.
This also depends on the status/attractiveness of the man. The more attractive, the higher the standards, generally speaking.
And this could also depend on where you live. If you live in the South or middle America, there are a lot more overweight/obese people of all ages, but particularly around middle age. If you live on the coasts, especially in California, then you will see a lot more fit people in middle age since people stay in the singles market longer and aren't so quick to let themselves go. So the expectations of what a 40-year old will look like might be different in Los Angeles or New York compared to Kansas City.
So Correct....
My first time in California I was amazed at how many smokin hot 50+ women I met(I was in my 20's then working for a property management company that owned mostly 55+ apartments) but it's a beach town with year around swimsuit weather, so a larger percentage of people stay in shape longer in life, and yes people stayed single longer(I think the average first time marriage in the LA metro area was 28 when the national average was 23) so more incentive to stay in shape.
That's where phrases like "oh she's an LA 6" or "He's a San Francisco 7" come from, implying that that both of them would be considered 9's or 10's almost anywhere else in the country.
So over the course of the last 5 years I have lost a substantial amount of weight (about 60 pounds). As a result I have body image issues because of the hanging skin as a result of the weight loss (that working out does not fix). I haven't had sex yet at this size, and while with my last boyfriend I did have some hanging skin (he didn't seem to care), it's worse now since I've lost more weight since then. I am 40 years old and usually date men my age or older so part me thinks a tight body is not as important to men as they get older, but I just know when the time does come to have sex with someone I will be extremely self conscious and don't want that to get in the way. I am considering getting a tummy tuck, but haven't made a final decision yet.
So I was just wondering how important is a tight body on a woman to men 40 and over?
I'm guessing EXTREMELY important to them. That's why the 40+ men reach back & date the gals 1/2 their age OR younger. But, sure, there's always going to be some of those 40+ ladies in good shape.
Men, along with the fashion and beauty industries (which men tend to rule and run)
.
No, we don't.
At least not straight men.
If straight men ran the fashion industry, there would be only two or three shades of nail polish, maybe three shades of lipstick, and four styles of fashion.
Seems to me it's always a bonus to be firm and in shape. But all men are not the same. Some will care and some won't. Think of Arnold Schwarzenegger and his affair with the dowdy housekeeper.
I probably won't be attracted to a man who is morbidly obese, but chances are if I like the way you look with your clothes on I'll like the way you look with your clothes off, I like a dad bod lol.
This is a normal and common opinion.
I'd bet that most guys have this same opinion as well. While morbid obesity can be a dealbreaker, many guys are into women who are thick, chubby, have a little extra, whatever you call it.
Seriously. It's one of my giant peeves in this forum, people trying to care what broad swaths of people find attractive or appealing. Doesn't matter. It's about what your people, or your person, likes.
Well because the more people who find you attractive the greater the odds that at least one of those people you will actually meet and find attractive also.
Like say I go to a singles event and there are 100 women there and say 20 of them see me and think I'm the bomb digidy 50 think I'm "kinda cute" and 10 think I'm "okay lookin"(where other thinks can still tip the scales in my favor) and the other 10 give me a hard pass... that's 80 women who I have a shot at a relationship with and at least a few of them I would find attractive AND have things in common with and haven't paired off with one of the other guys at the event yet.
Now lets say some guy show up at the same time for whom looks are not his greatest strength, out of the 100 women at the event maybe 10 would find him attractive at all and of that 10 he may find 3 attractive and have things in common with and they all paired off before he got to either of them(because he would not know which of the 100 he had a chance with).
Everybody is attractive to somebody but some people are attractive to everybody. and dating is much easier for the latter.
So over the course of the last 5 years I have lost a substantial amount of weight (about 60 pounds). As a result I have body image issues because of the hanging skin as a result of the weight loss (that working out does not fix). I haven't had sex yet at this size, and while with my last boyfriend I did have some hanging skin (he didn't seem to care), it's worse now since I've lost more weight since then. I am 40 years old and usually date men my age or older so part me thinks a tight body is not as important to men as they get older, but I just know when the time does come to have sex with someone I will be extremely self conscious and don't want that to get in the way. I am considering getting a tummy tuck, but haven't made a final decision yet.
So I was just wondering how important is a tight body on a woman to men 40 and over?
It's pretty brave of you to post this. If I had extra skin from a big weight loss, I would want to have some sort of surgery or other procedure in order to tighten up. And of course any surgery carries with it some risk.
Seems to me it's always a bonus to be firm and in shape. But all men are not the same. Some will care and some won't. Think of Arnold Schwarzenegger and his affair with the dowdy housekeeper.
Actually the the dowdy housekeeper. used to be an amateur female bodybuilder it's how they met years before she was their housekeeper so it could have been like running into a highschool/college crush who aged badly but for some reason you still shoot your shot based on the memory.
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