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No one says asexuals don't like affection. Like they can't have any physical contact with someone they care about unless it leads to sex?
I think there are plenty of asexuals who haven't "come out" yet. Modern society is ok with every other type of sexuality but not quite ready for that one.
No one has said asexuals don't like affection, but expecting affection and cuddling from a boyfriend without sex, she needs to make sure the other person is an asexual (or just done with sex for some reason) and not just someone that has said they didn't want sex with the hopes that would change.
This still really depends a lot on the age of the OP, of which we aren't really sure, and if she is older, those that are younger may just not really understand why she doesn't want sex anymore. But still, if she wants the cuddling, she needs to make darn sure the male understands what will amount to the "rules".
I would think finding a group of single individuals in her age group, she could casually sort through them. I see no reason to bring up immediately that she isn't interested in sex though. If it were me, I would get to know someone a little better before springing that on them, but I am older. I think she can send signals that she isn't looking for a sex partner.
I don't think she is asexual, as I think she is just done with sex, which is not the same thing. I am sure there are some men who are also done with sex, and not asexual. I known a lot of people over decades, and known them well enough to make this call.
What makes you think asexual people don't have friends/roommates, dogs?
They want relationships like anyone else. If you don't think they should have that just say so, don't trivialize it by telling them to get a friend when they already have friends. People used to say such things to gay people.
They don't want a relationship just like everyone else that's the point. If they did this thread wouldn't exist.
The person who started this thread once a boyfriend that doesn't have sex with them. That's very unlike everyone else.
Last edited by Hankrigby; 11-10-2022 at 06:55 PM..
No one has said asexuals don't like affection, but expecting affection and cuddling from a boyfriend without sex, she needs to make sure the other person is an asexual (or just done with sex for some reason) and not just someone that has said they didn't want sex with the hopes that would change.
Yes, it is unusual for someone to want a romantic relationship and not have sex ever. That is certainly not the norm and nobody should think it is.
Any man would freak out if a woman told him that, unless he was equally asexual.
It's more common that you think. It's a private matter, and most people don't want to share such personal information, or admit that they aren't having sex in their relationship, and especially marriage.
Are you aware of the many articles in the past about young couples who are busy with babies, toddlers, homes, yards, cars, jobs, etc. etc.? How sex falls by the wayside? How about seniors who aren't as active anymore, or not active at all?
I remember when I was a new mother with a baby and a toddler. I was sitting in a park with several other mothers. It was a "moment" when all of us admitted to each other that sex had gone out the window for the time being.
That is not to say that we never returned to having sex. Sexual activity ebbs and flows with most people. And some people just aren't into it. Just because you can't imagine that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Yes, it is unusual for someone to want a romantic relationship and not have sex ever. That is certainly not the norm and nobody should think it is.
Any man would freak out if a woman told him that, unless he was equally asexual.
Well, many men who can't have some type of issue or anxiety being with a woman in person. I was talking to a woman b4 and her prior man barely touch her or they only have sex maybe once every 2-3 months and she initiates. He's a good guy but he has some type of anxiety. Nothing wrong with his sex organ just can't perform. He's somewhat ashamed or uncomfortable but she is the one that wants sex more.
You have learned a lot about yourself, how you work and what you want in life.
I married a girl that is asexual, our marriage has been a long series of arguments and struggles. We have only ever argued about one topic though.
It took me 30 years to finally understand. It was not my error, I did nothing wrong. I fact that I have never been able to please my Dw, had nothing to do with me. If I had known this when we were dating, I might not have married her. But if I had chosen to marry her, our marriage would have been a lot different.
I would not have been expecting my Dw to allow intimacy with me.
It's more common that you think. It's a private matter, and most people don't want to share such personal information, or admit that they aren't having sex in their relationship, and especially marriage.
Are you aware of the many articles in the past about young couples who are busy with babies, toddlers, homes, yards, cars, jobs, etc. etc.? How sex falls by the wayside? How about seniors who aren't as active anymore, or not active at all?
I remember when I was a new mother with a baby and a toddler. I was sitting in a park with several other mothers. It was a "moment" when all of us admitted to each other that sex had gone out the window for the time being.
That is not to say that we never returned to having sex. Sexual activity ebbs and flows with most people. And some people just aren't into it. Just because you can't imagine that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
And I remember hearing from all my male friends that they are sexually frustrated because their partners don't want sex anymore since they married or had children.
I used to be around many men at work and in my free time. I heard all the man talk.
Well, many men who can't have some type of issue or anxiety being with a woman in person. I was talking to a woman b4 and her prior man barely touch her or they only have sex maybe once every 2-3 months and she initiates. He's a good guy but he has some type of anxiety. Nothing wrong with his sex organ just can't perform. He's somewhat ashamed or uncomfortable but she is the one that wants sex more.
And I remember hearing from all my male friends that they are sexually frustrated because their partners don't want sex anymore since they married or had children.
I used to be around many men at work and in my free time. I heard all the man talk.
Yeah, and some men don't want sex anymore. In the case of my marriage it was a combination of his stress, his depression, him not liking my interests and him not being in love - ever. How did I end up married to him? Interesting question. I've covered that in other threads and posts unrelated to this topic.
it isn't always just the women who lose interest.
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