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My daughter was divorced earlier this year and has tried some of the dating apps. I have been appalled at the number of guys who are only interested in sex (have told her so), have sent her graphic photos, and/or asked her for them. Whatever happened to getting to know someone first. I hope this is not indicative of where things are today in this regard..
What happened is that culture changed when women quit demanding marriage before sex. I realize it is a long long way between marriage and just getting to know someone, but this is what we call the "slippery slope".
It starts out men get their way getting premarital sex with the engagement ring. They get that and the next thing is sex just dating. We moved on to hooking up and friends with benefits. When you through out the moral norms of societly like "I am waiting for marriage", you quickly run down to a point where guys just want to have sex with any hot girl. What is the point of knowing her?
I am explaining, not advocating. I am explaining how we got to this point. Birth control and abortion allowed couples to safely reduce pregnancy risk to a very low level, and accelerated the sexual revolution to where men could pressure women to have sex early in the dating cycle. The continued decline in social morals has us to the point where men now expect to just have sex and say "see ya".
Don't blame me. I didn't vote for today's cultural problems.
It's the direct result of removing the family gatekeepers from dating. When I was growing up me and my male friends knew that we had to be respectful cause dad and brothers and cousins would not go for disrespect of a female family member. Now it's the wild west. Anything goes cause women wanted to be treated equally. They don't want dad or brother or anybody else vetting their men anymore.
Yes. This is what it is now. I'd wager that your daughter has NO interest in messaging an AVERAGE man on the sites. My biggest advice to any woman using a dating site is to ignore messages from random men and message only the men you wish to meet.
Good observations that ties into my previous posts about the changing culture.
Reminds me of the TV show, Suits, which I enjoyed for the most part. However, it bugged me that in a REAL New York City law office, women lawyers and even legal secretaries dress in (usually expensive) suits, jacket, pants or skirt, button down blouse, stockings/tights. On Suits, the men wore expensive suits but all of the women, lawyers or otherwise including the head of the firm, dressed like high-priced hookers.
I remember that. So unrealistic! When I worked in law starting in 1974 (financial districts of Los Angeles and later San Francisco) women attorneys literally dressed like men. Ugly dark suits, "sensible" pumps, etc. In the 1980's most female employees (including staff) wore very nice dresses and pumps. By the 1990's when "at-will" employment was commenced most of us said OK, layoffs (for the first time ever in the field of law), stagnant wages, disappearing benefits, increasingly hostile workplace... hell no I'm not wearing expensive clothing to the office. Screw 'em. We started wearing far more casual clothing to the office. Nowadays it's anything goes. I'm shocked by the lack of care about clothing and even grooming at most offices these days. It's not that I think we should all go back to the 1980's, but have some dignity. It's quite possible to dress well on a budget. And comb your hair.
What happened is that culture changed when women quit demanding marriage before sex. I realize it is a long long way between marriage and just getting to know someone, but this is what we call the "slippery slope".
It starts out men get their way getting premarital sex with the engagement ring. They get that and the next thing is sex just dating. We moved on to hooking up and friends with benefits. When you through out the moral norms of societly like "I am waiting for marriage", you quickly run down to a point where guys just want to have sex with any hot girl. What is the point of knowing her?
I am explaining, not advocating. I am explaining how we got to this point. Birth control and abortion allowed couples to safely reduce pregnancy risk to a very low level, and accelerated the sexual revolution to where men could pressure women to have sex early in the dating cycle. The continued decline in social morals has us to the point where men now expect to just have sex and say "see ya".
Don't blame me. I didn't vote for today's cultural problems.
I I'm glad you had the guts to say it. I'm not trying to get canceled.
There is no upside to dating for a woman. It's giving away something for nothing in return. What man wouldn't take that deal. Car dealership giving free test drives and never getting anyone to sign the contract to buy. Grandma used to say something about cows and free milk.
63 pages analyzing the male mind. If you just simplify it to, "men are basically pigs", every question pretty much answers itself.
It is been fun to see some women in denial of how bad men can be, even if most of us realize we can't act on it, or should not act on it.
"Really. All guys are like that?" Yes. 85-90%. All true. We don't act on it, but yes we are thinking about it or looking. Dirty old men are just the ones who don't care if they get caught looking or not. The rest of us are all just more subtle about it.
Men thinking of boinking every attractive women they come across? Do I STILL need to explain this? Re: see "men are pigs" above.
Women civilize men. Men are not civilized on their own. Society works because women act as a civilizing force upon men in society. I can't underscore this enough. Some women refuse to accept this fact. Well, truth hurts. The sexes are different and the impact on society is vital.
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Originally Posted by Mink57
Why the heck NOT?
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Originally Posted by AfriqueNY
Try to imagine a world where men lost their desire to mate with women. Can you envision the dystopian world that would be.
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Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
What dystopia? If you've been paying attention to this thread at all, a lot of women would be relieved by such a situation.
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Originally Posted by AfriqueNY
No they wouldnt . You would be fine with no make attention? None? You don't really understand what that would look like.
But WHY does this have to be a black-or-white situation?
Why do women have to accept that they either get leered at, ogled, cat-called, harassed, stared at, grabbed, etc, or get NO 'male attention' at all?
I I'm glad you had the guts to say it. I'm not trying to get canceled.
There is no upside to dating for a woman. It's giving away something for nothing in return. What man wouldn't take that deal. Car dealership giving free test drives and never getting anyone to sign the contract to buy. Grandma used to say something about cows and free milk.
You can’t possibly know what all women want, only your opinion of what they should want.
There’s this constant vibe of the man is the prize in your comments. Some of us don’t want a man who thinks he’s superior, more valuable to the relationship than us, a guy who believes men are the real people, they should be prized and bowed down to. That type is good for entertainment. Some let them believe that and then like them to go home after a bit. Until the next time she has the energy to play along.
ETA: milk/cow, pig/sausage. None if it has ever been free.
That must be a bit of a burden not to mention a distraction.
I debated on whether to mention this, or not. I think it is within the Topic.
Most of my career was spent serving on submarines, 135 all male crew.
On every deployment, it takes about a week for everyone to settle down to the daily routine.
But, many times I have experienced when one guy will have brought with him a sealed package, a present from his wife, often a pair of soiled underwear. If he opens that package, the pheromones will trigger a reaction from the entire crew. We all become aggressive. Once he re-seals them it will take a few days, maybe up to a week for the air to clear again and everyone settles down.
I served for 20 years, and I have made a lot of deployments. This phenomenon happens, when men are exposed to female pheromones.
I debated on whether to mention this, or not. I think it is within the Topic.
Most of my career was spent serving on submarines, 135 all male crew.
On every deployment, it takes about a week for everyone to settle down to the daily routine.
But, many times I have experienced when one guy will have brought with him a sealed package, a present from his wife, often a pair of soiled underwear. If he opens that package, the pheromones will trigger a reaction from the entire crew. We all become aggressive. Once he re-seals them it will take a few days, maybe up to a week for the air to clear again and everyone settles down.
I served for 20 years, and I have made a lot of deployments. This phenomenon happens, when men are exposed to female pheromones.
Many times men brought a package of dirty underwear? My, maybe the wives shoulda given them a neck pillow or a box of cookies. Hows about a nice love letter. Seems kind of mean to phermone tease a man who is squeezed in a tube under the sea with a bunch of other men.
Many times men brought a package of dirty underwear? My, maybe the wives shoulda given them a neck pillow or a box of cookies. Hows about a nice love letter. Seems kind of mean to phermone tease a man who is squeezed in a tube under the sea with a bunch of other men.
Only if you believe that 'those' pheromones exist in humans.
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No study has led to the isolation of true human sex pheromones, though various researchers have investigated the possibility of their existence.
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