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Old 01-17-2023, 04:49 PM
 
105 posts, read 67,819 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassionateNortherner View Post
Sounds to me like maybe you're her backup plan. She's not that into you but into you enough to consider you a better option than being alone. You've kind of been friend-zoned but in a grey zone where she will perhaps use you as a plus-one so she doesn't have to go places alone.

When guys keep girls as a backup plan, it's usually to have someone around for regular sex until they can find an option who they consider better girlfriend material. But girls don't usually keep backup plan guys for sex. Girls only want to have sex with guys they are really attracted to. But guys who don't have many options will allow themselves to be friend-zoned for a long time in the hopes she'll one day give him sex at the very least.
Yeah it sounds like she might have been into him somewhat originally in terms of giving him a chance but was probably not very attracted to him physically so he was on a thin leash…If he was a good looking dude she’d be doing whatever it takes to get his attention and into bed to try to change his mind regardless of his indifference towards her..
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Old 01-17-2023, 04:53 PM
 
5,334 posts, read 6,128,086 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Nope.
I mean it helps because you already know you have fun and a good time with that person I don’t know
her well enough to know that yet.

While we were texting I asked if she was available on a certain date and she never responded so it’s not like she’s made a huge effort to stay friends
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Old 01-17-2023, 04:53 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,710 posts, read 35,229,289 times
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Well, what we have here is a woman who is not interested in dating you, and you are not interested in dating her.

You all went to hang out, and you did not have a good time.

What normally happens at this point, is both parties fade away from talking and doing stuff.
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Old 01-17-2023, 04:55 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,191,467 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Well, what we have here is a woman who is not interested in dating you, and you are not interested in dating her.

You all went to hang out, and you did not have a good time.

What normally happens at this point, is both parties fade away from talking and doing stuff.
Yeah, I mean, this is kinda a "duh" thing. The OP just comes across as someone who thinks way too much and questions everything. Why this. Why that. Why not this. Why not that. It's exhausting and it isn't fun. Life isn't this hard. Just chill out and have some fun.
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Old 01-17-2023, 05:07 PM
 
5,334 posts, read 6,128,086 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Well, what we have here is a woman who is not interested in dating you, and you are not interested in dating her.

You all went to hang out, and you did not have a good time.

What normally happens at this point, is both parties fade away from talking and doing stuff.
Agreed which is why I’m puzzled as to why she is texting me to hangout still
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Old 01-17-2023, 05:13 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Agreed which is why I’m puzzled as to why she is texting me to hangout still
Because obviously she had enough fun to ask you to hang again. It may simply be a case as she needs someone to do stuff with.
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Old 01-17-2023, 05:17 PM
 
5,334 posts, read 6,128,086 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TonyB83 View Post
Yeah it sounds like she might have been into him somewhat originally in terms of giving him a chance but was probably not very attracted to him physically so he was on a thin leash…If he was a good looking dude she’d be doing whatever it takes to get his attention and into bed to try to change his mind regardless of his indifference towards her..
I have no idea.

It seemed like she was into me in the begining she got angry when I didn’t text her fast enough but maybe she just wanted companionship because she doesn’t have many friends. Who knows

Women arent usually attracted to me so it probably was the latter
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Old 01-17-2023, 05:33 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,713 posts, read 41,922,917 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Agreed which is why I’m puzzled as to why she is texting me to hangout still
You could have saved yourself a lot of anguish by blocking her after that first interaction when she decided to give another dude rather than you her attention.
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Old 01-17-2023, 05:49 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
You could have saved yourself a lot of anguish by blocking her after that first interaction when she decided to give another dude rather than you her attention.
Why? He is not interested in her romantically.
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Old 01-17-2023, 07:42 PM
 
6,538 posts, read 4,083,864 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TonyB83 View Post
Yeah it sounds like she might have been into him somewhat originally in terms of giving him a chance but was probably not very attracted to him physically so he was on a thin leash…If he was a good looking dude she’d be doing whatever it takes to get his attention and into bed to try to change his mind regardless of his indifference towards her..
Not sure what kind of women you know, but...

It's far more likely that she was interested, and lost interest when he wasn't interested. Most people aren't going to waste their time pining after someone who's not into them.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
Why? He is not interested in her romantically.
Because he's clearly angry he wasn't the center of her attention, so if that sort of "hanging out" doesn't work for him, then he might as well not do it again.

And because if he's going to have this much angst over why she texts him, better if she just... doesn't (or, at least, he doesn't get the texts when she does).
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