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She texted me asking how my holidays were just small talk.
Then the next text was asking ms if I want to hangout sometime next week.
As far as friends she seems to have only one close lady friend from what I’ve seen.
I was more attracted to her friend but she wasn’t into me
This woman is lonely and doesn't have many friends, so she is trying to make more friends. That is why she is continuing to seek you out. If you are really annoyed with her, you definitely could drop her as a friend.
That isn't what I would do though. This woman seems lonely, so I would probably try to introduce her to some of my friends. When you move to some place new often it is tough to make new friends, maybe that is what is going on here. Next time you go out to lunch or breakfast with some of your friends, I might bring her along. if you have some guy friends who are single, I might invite her to meet them and if you have some female friends that you think might be a good match, I might introduce her to some of them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TonyB83
Yeah it sounds like she might have been into him somewhat originally in terms of giving him a chance but was probably not very attracted to him physically so he was on a thin leash…If he was a good looking dude she’d be doing whatever it takes to get his attention and into bed to try to change his mind regardless of his indifference towards her..
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144
Not sure what kind of women you know, but...
It's far more likely that she was interested, and lost interest when he wasn't interested. Most people aren't going to waste their time pining after someone who's not into them.
Really? I thought you believed friendships were more important than anything. If one of my male friends invited me somewhere and then disappeared, I'd be pissed.
But, I'd be pissed and not confused. If there was no real friendship as in this case, I'd wouldn't clutch any pearls. I also wouldn't see her again.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12
Really? I thought you believed friendships were more important than anything. If one of my male friends invited me somewhere and then disappeared, I'd be pissed.
But, I'd be pissed and not confused. If there was no real friendship as in this case, I'd wouldn't clutch any pearls. I also wouldn't see her again.
They are, but I wouldn't be bothered by that at all. I'd high five them (probably not literally) and tell them to be safe and have fun. Perhaps this is a bit sexist, but if it was a woman friend I'd also tell them if there are any problems, text me and I'll come get you and let me know you're safe (and do you need some condoms). It's literally happened scores of times in my life, and sometimes it was me (not often enough, ha). People go out as friends and sometimes things happen, sometimes for the better. I'm not roosterblocking anyone, and I'm not going to take it personally if it happens. If anything, I'm going to be happy for them (and I probably was encouraging them as well).
Of course, context matters a lot. Are we going to a play, or dinner, together? That's different than going to a dance club, bar, live music where the normal expectation is you're socializing and talking to other people. Different social events have different vibes and expectations. I mean, I look around, been dating fonumber 30+ years, BY FAR, the number one way I've seen people meet their spouse/long term partners is when people go out to have fun (bars, live music, breweries, festivals, parties, whatever), meet someone, have chemistry and go home with them (usually same day)... most of those people weren't going to those events alone, I don't think. (Edit: I shouldn't say by far, OLD is way up there too, it's probably close now.)
Last edited by timberline742; 01-18-2023 at 04:15 PM..
Really? I thought you believed friendships were more important than anything. If one of my male friends invited me somewhere and then disappeared, I'd be pissed.
But, I'd be pissed and not confused. If there was no real friendship as in this case, I'd wouldn't clutch any pearls. I also wouldn't see her again.
You are right, initially there was no friendship here, this woman asked out the OP and the OP wasn't interested in this woman romantically, but went out with this woman because he hadn't been on many dates lately. The OP was using this woman and this situation for his own purposes - not a profile in courage moment for the OP. The OP was going on this date for practice, and this woman didn't know that (and I assume would think the OP was rude for doing this to her). But on this date this woman, when she realized that the OP wasn't interested in her romantically likely assumed that the OP agreed to go out with her as friends. That is a tricky situation though for this woman, you like a guy, but he is not into you. I could see a woman not wanting to embarrass herself pining for a guy who isn't interested, overcorrecting and talking to another guy. Again not a profiles in courage moment for this woman this time, but sometimes lonely people do things that don't live up to our highest ideals either.
But ultimately we have two lonely people here who both seem like they could benefit from having more friends. The best way to get more friends is to just start being a good friend.
I wouldn't like it if a friend bailed on me at a bar. But I am unclear how long the 2nd woman hung out? If the woman went and danced and left him with the other woman, that's fine.
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I wouldn't like it if a friend bailed on me at a bar. But I am unclear how long the 2nd woman hung out? If the woman went and danced and left him with the other woman, that's fine.
That's what happened. At no time was he left alone.
To refresh people’s memory I exchanged numbers with someone i really wasn’t that attracted to and was gonna take her out on a date for experience even though I wasn’t interested. People here told me not to use her like that.
She texted me to hangout with her and her friend and I ended up
hanging out with her and her friend because I figured that’s not a date that’s more of a casual hangout.
She ended up talking to this guy at the bar we went to and dancing with him and referred to me as her friend when talking to him
While I thought that was kinda weird because months ago when I first exchanged numbers people who were friends of hers that worked with my friend said she was complaining I didn’t text her yet just after a few days so I figured she was into me.
In the end I guess neither of us was really into each other
Good, fine. So you weren't ever interested in her, but expected her OR wanted her to be interested in YOU.
Good, fine. So you weren't ever interested in her, but expected her OR wanted her to be interested in YOU.
This goes back to my theory: scratch a "struggling guy," find a covert narcissist. Because the struggles originate from very fragile ego, sense of entitlement, and inability to see others except through the lens of oneself. The world is their mirror. Nothing is their fault.
Not diagnosing the OP, just pointing out the behavior.
Doesn’t really matter what you doubt it’s facts. My best friend works with her good friend and that was the message relayed to me that she was waiting for me to text her and was wondering why i haven’t yet.
But I realize you have no interest in me or this issue other then trying to antagonize so I take whatever you say with a grain of salt
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