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OK, so with online dating chats. Here’s chat #1.
Me: Hello.
Her: Hi
Me: Well, thanks for the reply. Would you like to meet in-person sometime?
Her: I like to talk to someone before just meeting a random stranger. Do you not watch the news?
Me: Well, sure. This is what's awkward about these dating sites. Everyone's a stranger. I'm very open to any way of talking / meeting. If we met, it would be informal and somewhere in public with people around. Or maybe we could just do a phone call or video chat. But it's up to you. I'm very open to anything...My name is XYZ. I live and work in ABC. I grew up mostly in ASDF and was born in QWERTY, but only lived there until I was X before moving to FL. I think talking or meeting for real is a good way to screen out the computer/bot profiles on here.
<no reply>
Me (2 days later): Hello?
So what the heck? You’re on a dating website, right? Aren’t eventually gonna have to meet someone in-person? Like, WTF?
You need to dial it back. Just because she answered, does not mean she wants to go out on a date.
Hi means hi and nothing more. Doesn't mean marriage or anything else in your head.
ln your first post that last monster paragraph was wayyyy too much and way too long , for a start.
She'd given you nothing but you gave her your whole life. Just keep it down to a line or two to start unless she starts saying more.
But then before that it was just boom, straight out the gate - wanna meet.
l doubt many women would meet you that easily that soon , l found it exactly as she said, most wanted to just chat a little first , get to know you a bit, whether on the site or phoning after a few emails or whatever.
Funny , had a few women say within a few emails, can you just call me l hate this emailing crap and leave her number.
But whenever l'd said that so soon , she'd say oh l'd rather just chat a bit more first.
So as a guy who has been using online dating sites for years I will say I like that you’re wanting to meet up with someone, that’s the point of online dating. But however, lately with online dating more people (females for sure) are more cautious with things and want to go slow with everything. I usually like going with the vibe of a conversation to determine when to ask about meeting up in person, usually wouldn’t happen in the first few messages but I will be damn if I wait days or a week to do so, plenty of times I have been burned and there’s people on those sites who just want to be your pen pal and that’s it.
I won't meet up with a guy until we've chatted for a week. A couple days messaging, a couple days talking on phone, a few video messages then I'll meet in person. I'm not comfortable meeting strangers right away. Talking a while enables me to pick up on red flags. If a guy asks to meet up right away, I drop the convo.
You need to start out with more than hello. Mention something specific in her profile that you liked. That will assure her that you actually read it and it will give her something to talk about.
I would have probably ghosted you too if that is the way the convos went. It almost comes across as your intention is just a numbers game where you are trying to meet as many women as possible and not interested in trying to find someone special. I would only meet someone I hit it off with already - start with text, then the phone, then discuss meeting in person. It can happen quickly, within a day or two, but there has to be a decent amount of exchange before then.
Going back to the ever-used fishing analogy...you need to set your bait well and you might have to be patient for a while. From the convos you showed us, it seems like you are trying to reel in the fish before it's bitten onto the hook.
I would have probably ghosted you too if that is the way the convos went. It almost comes across as your intention is just a numbers game where you are trying to meet as many women as possible and not interested in trying to find someone special. I would only meet someone I hit it off with already - start with text, then the phone, then discuss meeting in person. It can happen quickly, within a day or two, but there has to be a decent amount of exchange before then.
The bolded is key. I’m not willing to just meet anyone for a date, especially not based on a hello.
Both of the examples the OP provided told these women everything they needed to know, to then not respond and likely block.
You: Hello, I like your profile.
Her: Hello ...
You: you are beautiful, I like your pictures. And it seems like we have similar interests. Would be great to possibly meet you soon.
Her: yes, that sounds great.
You: Tell me a little more about yourself. I saw on your profile that you ...
Her: blablabla.
...
...
You: Cool, I would love to talk to you in person and see if we click. Here is my number. Maybe we can meet this weekend for a drink?
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