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OK, so with online dating chats. Here’s chat #1.
Me: Hello.
Her: Hi
Me: Well, thanks for the reply. Would you like to meet in-person sometime?
Already I'm turned off. You're asking for a date way too soon.
Quote:
Her: I like to talk to someone before just meeting a random stranger. Do you not watch the news?
Me: Well, sure. This is what's awkward about these dating sites. Everyone's a stranger. I'm very open to any way of talking / meeting. If we met, it would be informal and somewhere in public with people around. Or maybe we could just do a phone call or video chat. But it's up to you. I'm very open to anything...My name is XYZ. I live and work in ABC. I grew up mostly in ASDF and was born in QWERTY, but only lived there until I was X before moving to FL. I think talking or meeting for real is a good way to screen out the computer/bot profiles on here.
<no reply>
Me (2 days later): Hello?
You pretty much ignored what she said about wanting to talk to someone before meeting them. You told her your name, where you live and work, where you grew up before moving to FL. Sorry, but that's not enough to go on.
Also, you didn't ask her anything about HER.
Quote:
So what the heck? You’re on a dating website, right? Aren’t eventually gonna have to meet someone in-person? Like, WTF?
You seem to think that being on a dating site means that people are automatically looking to "date" ANYONE who asks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sm0key
Chat #2.
Me: Hello.
Her: Hi how are you doing today?
Me: Well, not bad Elizabeth. How would you meet out somewhere in-person?
Once again, you're too quick to ask for a date, knowing nothing about this person.
Quote:
Her: Sure someday when possible.
Me: I'm free this weekend or next.
<no reply>
Me (2 days later): Hello?
You're being too pushy. In all honesty, WHY do you want to 'date' this person? Her looks?
Quote:
Same result. I mean, I send out dozens & dozens of Hellos and am lucky to get just 2 replies which go nowhere.
What's the famous quote about the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result!
If you want different, you gotta do different.
Quote:
This has actually been going on for literally 5 YEARS NOW. It’s extremely rare that anyone replies. But when they do, I’ve never once been able to get a lady to actually want to meet in-person. It’s the same crap everytime. They start off chatting just fine and you think you have a chance to finally get a date for the first time in your whole stupid life. But then they just stop replying.
Five years? I'd be looking into what I was doing wrong at the ONE year mark!
Quote:
Same crap everytime. I just never can quite get a lady who will agree to a time and place and actually Godforbid physically meet in-person.
I did a quick Google search of this problem a little earlier. Didn't take much time to discover that MOST women don't like guys who ask them out without knowing anything about them.
Even right her on this forum, you're seeing that MOST responses from the women are not too keen on accepting a date from someone they know.
And I don't think spending a week to get to know someone somewhat is "wasting time". A lot can be discovered during that week, even to the point of realizing that you really don't have that much interest in the other person.
A woman often puts a LOT of effort into actually going on a date. Shower, hair, make up, clothing. In other words, she can spend an hour...or two, getting ready for her date.
Think she wants to spend those two hours getting ready to meet someone, only to discover in the first 30 seconds of meeting that they're not compatible...all because he didn't want to "waste his time" chit-chatting BEFORE meeting up?
I had that in the grocery store once, minus the hello, and minus even seeing him approach, as he walked up behind me and I didn’t know he was there until he spoke.
Have to wonder at the thought process, to ask out someone you haven’t even spoken to, and expect anything other than a no.
This. People who stand behind you and try to talk to you. If I hear a voice behind me, I'm going to assume they're speaking to someone else behind me. Why would they be talking to me? If they wanted my attention, they'd stand where I can see them and know it's me they're addressing.
It's called "Plenty Of Fish" (which I always call "Plenty Of Fakes").
Plenty of Fish has really turned for the worst in the last 10 years. I was on it for a while and met some really nice people; but recently when I made a profile there was nothing but a lot of scammers and fake profiles on there.
Any time that you are using a dating site, you run the risk of being catfished, ghosted, and all the things that not only waste your time, but are also emotionally unhealthy for you. It was always my thought that meeting in person was the best, even in the very beginning because you can really get to know someone (at least you think) by texting and chatting on the site for a long time. Then you really can't wait to meet them and it's a huge letdown when you do meet, you aren't attracted to them at all. Then you really do ghost them and move on. Meeting someone quickly and refraining from too much talking/texting can be a lot easier and less risky.
The ideal thing to do is stay off the dating sites because they are backwards, they waste your time and energy, you get false hope time after time and over a period of time it really does a number on your self esteem. My advice is to stop looking, do things you enjoy and date yourself if you have to. Go to movies, go to flea markets, go dancing, take lessons, join groups and have fun. That's where you're going to meet someone that you are compatible with, attracted to and have a much better chance of having a meaningful relationship. It's hard to do when you're lonely, but it's worth it in the end.
Another thing is if you were the last to write, don't send a "hello?" if you never got a reply. If they stop replying they are not interested or another fish swam by.......sorry.
Also, don't start with HELLO only. I never responded to those.
I would start with "Hello, I saw your profile. You are beautiful. I would like to get to know you." Or "Hello, I like your profile and especially your pictures."
Also, don't start with HELLO only. I never responded to those.
I would start with "Hello, I saw your profile. You are beautiful. I would like to get to know you." Or "Hello, I like your profile and especially your pictures."
I'd lose the whole "You're beautiful" thing, or anything to do with pictures, that early on.
Yeah l was wondering about the beautiful thing too.
l mean l'd think if l was female straight out that would come across too much too shallowish,
But as a guy, there's a lot more to beautiful than just some photo on a date site- she might be a total b or 10 other things how would l know she's beautiful, so l wouldn't be throwing words like that around so easily myself.
Plenty of Fish has really turned for the worst in the last 10 years. I was on it for a while and met some really nice people; but recently when I made a profile there was nothing but a lot of scammers and fake profiles on there.
Any time that you are using a dating site, you run the risk of being catfished, ghosted, and all the things that not only waste your time, but are also emotionally unhealthy for you. It was always my thought that meeting in person was the best, even in the very beginning because you can really get to know someone (at least you think) by texting and chatting on the site for a long time. Then you really can't wait to meet them and it's a huge letdown when you do meet, you aren't attracted to them at all. Then you really do ghost them and move on. Meeting someone quickly and refraining from too much talking/texting can be a lot easier and less risky.
The ideal thing to do is stay off the dating sites because they are backwards, they waste your time and energy, you get false hope time after time and over a period of time it really does a number on your self esteem. My advice is to stop looking, do things you enjoy and date yourself if you have to. Go to movies, go to flea markets, go dancing, take lessons, join groups and have fun. That's where you're going to meet someone that you are compatible with, attracted to and have a much better chance of having a meaningful relationship. It's hard to do when you're lonely, but it's worth it in the end.
I was on POF years ago around 2007-2008 and it was great. And when I returned in 2017 it was still great. However, in 2019 the site went way downhill and now you basically have to pay to see and do certain things on there and there's way less people and the app sucks now.
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