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I recently dated a guy who lied uncontrollably. I mean about things that sometimes didn't even matter. He was married at the time we started seeing each other- bad enough in itself, I KNOW! (He eventually divorced to pursue another relationship.) When he and I started seeing each other, he ended another relationship he was already in. Over the course of our "relationship" he got involved with or slept with at least 3 other girls-that I know about. He prided himself in being a great lover- which he was and loved to hear me tell him.
When I was suspicious he was lying about something, I asked him about it. More than once, he looked me in the eye and with the most sincere look on his face, denied it. Everytime I caught him in a lie and confronted him, if he knew he couldn't deny it, he would get angry and hang up the phone or leave.
When he was with me, he could make me feel like there was no one else in this world that mattered. Then he would go and do the hurtful things that he knew devastated me and try to justify them only when he got caught.
Now I see all these posts and websites about sociopathic behavior and narcissism. I would like opinions on whether he truly shows the signs of this behavior or am I just a woman scorned???
Under the pretenses that the 2 of you met was the beginning of the end. Entering a relationship with a man who is already involved is a grave mistake no matter what the situation may be bottom line he was committed to someone else or he should have been. I do not think he has sociopathic tendencies just seems to have issues with commitment and seems to be needy as well as has wanderlust. I recommend you stop over analyzing cut your losses and move on physically and emotionally.
I recently dated a guy who lied uncontrollably. I mean about things that sometimes didn't even matter. He was married at the time we started seeing each other- bad enough in itself, I KNOW! (He eventually divorced to pursue another relationship.) When he and I started seeing each other, he ended another relationship he was already in. Over the course of our "relationship" he got involved with or slept with at least 3 other girls-that I know about. He prided himself in being a great lover- which he was and loved to hear me tell him.
When I was suspicious he was lying about something, I asked him about it. More than once, he looked me in the eye and with the most sincere look on his face, denied it. Everytime I caught him in a lie and confronted him, if he knew he couldn't deny it, he would get angry and hang up the phone or leave.
When he was with me, he could make me feel like there was no one else in this world that mattered. Then he would go and do the hurtful things that he knew devastated me and try to justify them only when he got caught.
Now I see all these posts and websites about sociopathic behavior and narcissism. I would like opinions on whether he truly shows the signs of this behavior or am I just a woman scorned???
Sounds more like a garden-variety jerk to me, but you can doublecheck:
I recently dated a guy who lied uncontrollably. I mean about things that sometimes didn't even matter. He was married at the time we started seeing each other- bad enough in itself, I KNOW! (He eventually divorced to pursue another relationship.) When he and I started seeing each other, he ended another relationship he was already in. Over the course of our "relationship" he got involved with or slept with at least 3 other girls-that I know about. He prided himself in being a great lover- which he was and loved to hear me tell him.
When I was suspicious he was lying about something, I asked him about it. More than once, he looked me in the eye and with the most sincere look on his face, denied it. Everytime I caught him in a lie and confronted him, if he knew he couldn't deny it, he would get angry and hang up the phone or leave.
When he was with me, he could make me feel like there was no one else in this world that mattered. Then he would go and do the hurtful things that he knew devastated me and try to justify them only when he got caught.
Now I see all these posts and websites about sociopathic behavior and narcissism. I would like opinions on whether he truly shows the signs of this behavior or am I just a woman scorned???
His name wouldn't happen to be Chris would it, works as an accountant, Dads a minister?
No seriously, I dated a guy just like that. Run away is all I can say.
I recently dated a guy who lied uncontrollably. I mean about things that sometimes didn't even matter. He was married at the time we started seeing each other- bad enough in itself, I KNOW! (He eventually divorced to pursue another relationship.) When he and I started seeing each other, he ended another relationship he was already in. Over the course of our "relationship" he got involved with or slept with at least 3 other girls-that I know about. He prided himself in being a great lover- which he was and loved to hear me tell him.
When I was suspicious he was lying about something, I asked him about it. More than once, he looked me in the eye and with the most sincere look on his face, denied it. Everytime I caught him in a lie and confronted him, if he knew he couldn't deny it, he would get angry and hang up the phone or leave.
When he was with me, he could make me feel like there was no one else in this world that mattered. Then he would go and do the hurtful things that he knew devastated me and try to justify them only when he got caught.
Now I see all these posts and websites about sociopathic behavior and narcissism. I would like opinions on whether he truly shows the signs of this behavior or am I just a woman scorned???
No, your post is me! I was involved with someone who was so incredibly wonderful "at the end" each time the end came. He lied to me but I let him off the hook. I tried to befriend him after we broke up thinking that maybe if we were friends things would be different. He lied to me again! He lied to me about his age and God only knows how many other things. He would hang up on me on a regular basis or walk out on me. At the same time, he was telling me how great he was at his job and how all the women wanted him. He is a narcissist and an abuser! It took me so long to figure out, as he does homeless outreach for a living and takes women to domestic violence shelters. At the same time, I got a job at a domestic violence shelter and secretly always wondered...I now know I was right and should have listened to my instincts. Run away!
BTW, he could look you in the eye and all you saw was love, when it wasn't even there or could never be.
I recently dated a guy who lied uncontrollably. I mean about things that sometimes didn't even matter. He was married at the time we started seeing each other- bad enough in itself, I KNOW! (He eventually divorced to pursue another relationship.) When he and I started seeing each other, he ended another relationship he was already in. Over the course of our "relationship" he got involved with or slept with at least 3 other girls-that I know about. He prided himself in being a great lover- which he was and loved to hear me tell him.
When I was suspicious he was lying about something, I asked him about it. More than once, he looked me in the eye and with the most sincere look on his face, denied it. Everytime I caught him in a lie and confronted him, if he knew he couldn't deny it, he would get angry and hang up the phone or leave.
When he was with me, he could make me feel like there was no one else in this world that mattered. Then he would go and do the hurtful things that he knew devastated me and try to justify them only when he got caught.
Now I see all these posts and websites about sociopathic behavior and narcissism. I would like opinions on whether he truly shows the signs of this behavior or am I just a woman scorned???
Does it really matter what scientific labels you put on this jerk? All you need to know is that this man was horrible dating material. You don't even need to psychoanalyze him to justify what he did to you. Don't even call him up and call him a sociopath and a narcissist and tell him to get therapy. Just run far away from him and keep him out of your life and not to repeat the pattern by dating another guy just like him. And if you do, end it a lot sooner than you did this a-hole.
It doesn't matter whether he was or not. He was a jerk who would probably keep treating you badly. If he did have a personality disorder, you might want to take the breakup as a compliment - if he knew he could "get more" from you emotionally, financially, sexually - he would've stayed.
BTW - there is a lot of bad information out there on narcissism and sociopathy. It's actually pretty rare (1-3% of the population).
The disorder is only 1-3% , that is true only according to whatever stats psychologists have published. Statistics on that are not accurate at all since narcissists do not seek treatment or help - they are usually very successful and too special to be considered MENTAL. They are very successful at business/sales/leading people but failures at relationships.
Narcissism is NOT rare. If you look at the definition in the DSM-4 any snide bozo could fall under that criteria. Just use your own judgement, some psychologists will tell you that too, just use your OWN judgement. If you think somebody is narcissistic based on their behaviors and way of life then it's true to you! Who cares if stats say it is rare.
Quote:
Originally Posted by itlchick
BTW - there is a lot of bad information out there on narcissism and sociopathy. It's actually pretty rare (1-3% of the population).
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