Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Whenever someone has trouble dating, there are typically one of two possible problems at work. Both are remedied by cultivating a little self-awareness:
1) You are going after the wrong kind of person. As in personality incompatible with your own. When I had a dry spell when single, I really sat down and thought about it. Then I realized I was dating the same woman over and over and over again--in my case, the artsy neurotic. Once I gained that kind of self-awareness, when I stepped beyond the archetype, things got so much better.
2) Maybe you really do need some self-care. If you don't respect yourself enough to take care of yourself physically, dress well, present yourself well, and gain some people skills, then of course you'll have problems. Take inventory of yourself and ask, "Hey, would I date me?"
One other note. A lot of people think of dating as this single-minded hunt. But, in truth, it's more serendipitous than that. You don't meet someone and then go do interesting things. Instead, you go do interesting things and then meet someone. Find passions that involve groups of people, whether it's camping, music, volunteering, books, sports, or whatever else there is. Do it with enthusiasm and joy. That's where you'll meet someone. Because they'll see you when you're happiest and at your very best and be drawn to you as a result. But you won't find those people sitting at home and pecking away in an internet forum.
In other words, live the best life you can. The relationship thing will take care of itself once you do.
Yup, me too. I always say, "If a guy is smart and funny, I'm lost." "Nice" is up there on the list, too-- as in, kind, respectful, thoughtful, not a jerk, etc. I'm not sure why "nice" and "funny" would be considered a low bar in the dating world-- especially with so many men lamenting that all women allegedly care about is height or paycheck-- but when they're told other criteria are what's important, they scoff at it?
That’s nice to hear but I feel you’re a huge outlier.
Most are very picky about that other stuff you mentioned these days
Whenever someone has trouble dating, there are typically one of two possible problems at work. Both are remedied by cultivating a little self-awareness:
1) You are going after the wrong kind of person. As in personality incompatible with your own. When I had a dry spell when single, I really sat down and thought about it. Then I realized I was dating the same woman over and over and over again--in my case, the artsy neurotic. Once I gained that kind of self-awareness, when I stepped beyond the archetype, things got so much better.
o.
My problem is I can’t even get to the first date part.
You don't meet someone and then go do interesting things. Instead, you go do interesting things and then meet someone. Find passions that involve groups of people, whether it's camping, music, volunteering, books, sports, or whatever else there is.
One can still do this and still have issues landing a date.
Quote:
Whenever a guy says he struggles to attract women people assume it’s because he’s a complete mess physically.
This...so much this. The people here seem to have it figured out that #2 is the issue, which it may not be the case. You can do already being doing what you can in #2, and still can't get a date. There are men that have it together and do very well for themselves, and can still have issues getting dates, go through long dry spells without a girlfriend and so on. It's not uncommon.
Also there had been articles trending about the amount of "lonely single men" in America is going up.
THere's a CNN video out there about men struggling to get dates:
And with less people meeting in public spaces (church, colleges, gyms, etc....like our parents did), and going the online route (more 1 or 2 dimensional meetings)
Last edited by ThisTown123; 04-09-2023 at 08:06 AM..
I already dress pretty well and im not in bad shape I workout a few days a week.
Whenever a guy says he struggles to attract women people assume it’s because he’s a complete mess physically.
Maybe my face is the problem
Maybe, maybe not. I can't judge that. You likely need an objective opinion from someone you know. Like someone who is willing to be absolutely honest at matters.
There could be a million things at work here. It could be the circles in which you move. It could be your entire approach. It could be halitosis. It could be a problem with personal space issues.
The only thing we know here is that there's something at work and you haven't nailed down what it is.
I already dress pretty well and im not in bad shape I workout a few days a week.
Whenever a guy says he struggles to attract women people assume it’s because he’s a complete mess physically.
Maybe my face is the problem
Every time a guy posts here with these same laments, he assumes it’s something physical about him. I always assume it is something psychological. Character and personality are the two traits least talked about by guys who struggle, imo.
Every time a guy posts herewith these same laments, he assumes it’s something physical about him. I always assume it is something psychological. Character and personality are the two traits least talked about by guys who struggle, imo.
That's my take, too. I've known some guys who were physically unimpressive enjoy long and rewarding relationships with some fantastic women. Unless one is chronically obese or has outright deformities, blaming one's own appearance is somewhat of a copout.
Every time a guy posts herewith these same laments, he assumes it’s something physical about him. I always assume it is something psychological. Character and personality are the two traits least talked about by guys who struggle, imo.
Im not perfect by any means but everyone who knows me would say I don’t lack character at all.
As far as personality it probably depends on the person I’m interacting with.
I’m not always life of the party guy but I’m pretty personable once I get to know someone or after a few drinks lol.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
