Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Um.....what about the millions and millions of men who are somewhere in the middle?
The extremes on this forum...sigh. A "fat woman" must have rolls literally on her neck. A "fat man" can't even fit on a bike. I mean come on now.
And chiar, if you're going to doubt women's input on all your many "polls" and "studies" (any references for any of this? Ever?), then you shouldn't keep bringing them up as apparently official when they suit your point. It's one or the other...people lie on polls, or they don't.
I like my men fluffy. I don't like them too big, and I don't like them too small. Why? I consider myself to be fluffy around the mid-section and feel weird being with a guy skinnier than I. I'm just weird about it.
My husband is the perfect size for me. He's my fluffy and furry bunny.
The term 'sexed-out' means you have been 'done' by all kinds of guys, in all kinds of ways, for a long time. The term basically means a woman went through a wild sexual period which lasted far too long (from teens to twenties to thirties and perhaps forties), and encompassed far too many men.
I was referring to the phenomenon where women will say one thing and mean another. And this usually happens while women are in their peak physical years, which refers to that time period when their boobs are still perky, their skin is still perfect, the time when women look the hottest.
So you (at forty, or fifty, or whatever you are) say things like "I just want someone who's nice and soft, I like pudgy, he has to be funny, I want him to be really nice to me." Fine. What about when you were 21 and super-hot? Maybe you thought all that, but who really nailed you? Not the fat comedians in class, for sure.
If by 'women who inhabit the real world' you mean 'women over the age of forty who have learned hard life lessons about men,' then ok. The stereotypes probably do NOT apply to the forty-and-over crowd. You are wiser and have figured out how to avoid the douche bags. The stereotypes still apply to young women and men, though. High school and college reinforce these rules every single year that passes by. Post-college, it still stays more or less the same.
I'll say it again, you are not an expert on women and you will never be an expert on women until you actually listen to what women are telling you, and be willing to accept things you clearly still do not want to hear.
What I hear time and time again is your iniststence that "women say one thing and mean another." This is not about women at all, it is about your unwillingness to hear things you don't want to hear because they would ask you to reconsider some beliefs you seem welded to.
And this post continues to spew out the insulting stereotypes that do a disservice to both men and women, and really display nothing but a most superficial mindset. (promiscuous women, lying women, women only hot when young, quality of character doesn't count, young people have shallow values, wisdom only to the old, body and looks are of prime importance)
Maturity has nothing to do with chronological age. There are bozos at age 40, 50, 70, we all know them. Likewise there are grounded sensible mature people with their head on straight in their 20s, 30s, in college, and yes even teens. I am the first to admit that my sons when they were 16, 18, 21, had more maturity than I did at age 40, and they have more maturity now (at age 21 and 23) than their father who is nearly 60.
Maturity comes through a process where a person is willing to turn within and develop themselves, and take full responsibility for their own beliefs, actions, and quality of life. This includes a willingness to upgrade belief systems (and yes possibly let go of some deeply held and much cherished stereotypes that others point out along the way are quite offensive)
I don't know how old you are but I'm guessing younger. Wink I don't mean that as a criticism, growth and maturity and wisdom are available to someone at any age and stage on their journey. Happiness to you and smiles and your posts are really lively, there is a lot of energy and passion in your posts, and it is positive that you are engaged in a dialogue and willing to participate in this exchange.
trust me on this one....when you begin listening, really listening to women, you will have your absolute pick of prime relationships. It's a pretty good incentive, eh?!
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 06-04-2008 at 09:19 AM..
Agree with DimSum's points but couldn't rep...I need to spread the love around first.
Chiar, it's fine to state opinions, but in the case of relationships, you've stated that you have never had a "relationship" that lasted more than a week. So you must realize that no matter what you've read in which magazine, you don't have the actual experiences to back things up, and you can't really say that you "know" women are liars/hypocrites based on experiences with women who obviously want one-night stands. I'm not trying to be mean here at all.
I worked for a magazine and I can tell you that poll "results" are creatively rearranged, because the majority of people already know what they want/like/have experienced/etc. When you create an article on "the things you must know about men/women!!!", it has to have some surprises. You (the writer/editor) need to give the impression that "there's news in here that will SURPRISE you! You MUST buy this issue in order to find out what it is."
So basically, you "poll" friends and family members, send out push e-mails (sort of spam that isn't quite spam) to only select groups, etc. You may put out a legitimate poll by advertising it in some previous issue, but no matter what results come in, you fluff them out with something surprising, no matter what it takes to do it. This is why, although other people at my magazine called themselves "journalists", I had trouble calling myself the same. And you know what? That wasn't even a flashy consumer magazine. It was a trade magazine, based on a very, very dry industry. And these practices were accepted as commonplace among writers for other magazines that I dealt with, both consumer and trade, across a broad segment, so it wasn't that our magazine was unusual.
Again...what you're stating is really more what you either assume, have experienced in very short time periods with women v. real relationships, or have read in a fluffed-up article. I understand that all these things would seem to be true...but actual relationships are very different from "quickies" and real life is very different from virtually any magazine you pick up, up to and including Scientific American (every single magazine on the planet manages to state even bold facts in a dramatized way...again, because otherwise, who would read it?).
As to your point about the thread stating that it's about "fat" men, and you saying it's not about "average" men, the average man is overweight, at least in the U.S. And when "fat" women are picked on...including here, on CD...it's not women who are anywhere near as overweight as that man on the bike, I can assure you. I'm pretty sure that's what the OP was getting at. Women here who are 20 or 25 lbs. overweight (I can tell you on experience) are skewered for being "fat". So, no, "fat wonen" that the OP is making the comparison to do not look like the man on the bike, or anywhere near.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If you had to choose....
