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Old 04-24-2023, 09:47 AM
 
659 posts, read 465,680 times
Reputation: 437

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SnazzyB View Post
I would not confess feelings. Why not just enjoy what you have going on, for just what it is. Clearly you like each other, but just enjoy 'this' for...THIS. Why cut back? Why stop messaging?

When you have free weekends, call a girlfriend and make plans. If he calls, stick to your plans with your friend(s). I'm of the opinion that guys LIKE it when we show them we have a life outside of them. You'll feel better about it too.
I am enjoying the companionship. I haven’t waited around for him at all because I pretty much know the schedule we will hang out. I have dates lined up this weekend and then vacations and plans too. I guess I’m just worried I’m getting too attached. Without confessing feelings should I bring up convo of what he is looking for ? I was thinking of asking his relationship background and then go from there ?
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Old 04-24-2023, 09:58 AM
 
5,622 posts, read 3,063,737 times
Reputation: 14207
Quote:
Originally Posted by phillygirl123 View Post
I am enjoying the companionship. I haven’t waited around for him at all because I pretty much know the schedule we will hang out. I have dates lined up this weekend and then vacations and plans too. I guess I’m just worried I’m getting too attached. Without confessing feelings should I bring up convo of what he is looking for ? I was thinking of asking his relationship background and then go from there ?
If it were me...I wouldn't bring anything up. But that's me. In all my dating life (been married 20+ years now) I was never the first one to bring up feelings.
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Old 04-24-2023, 10:00 AM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,411 posts, read 34,571,508 times
Reputation: 73513
Quote:
Originally Posted by phillygirl123 View Post
I am enjoying the companionship. I haven’t waited around for him at all because I pretty much know the schedule we will hang out. I have dates lined up this weekend and then vacations and plans too. I guess I’m just worried I’m getting too attached. Without confessing feelings should I bring up convo of what he is looking for ? I was thinking of asking his relationship background and then go from there ?
You can, but, I would say he is looking for, what he asks for. Which is to see you every couple weeks, otherwise he would ask to see you more often.

I am a big fan of being open and honest, and communication, so yeah, talk to him. But if he doesn't feel the same I would think the relationship would get awkward and end.

And while that may make you sad, it is better in the long run for you to move on.
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Old 04-24-2023, 11:25 AM
 
200 posts, read 107,643 times
Reputation: 338
Quote:
Originally Posted by phillygirl123 View Post
I’ve been casually seeing this guy for almost 3 months. It started out as a perfect casual relationship. He’s 23 and I’m 37 so I figured this would be just a fun hookup since we have a huge age difference. He works night shift and doesn’t always get weekends and I have a son part time so our schedules are kinda tough. He texts me everyday but we only hang out every other week.

I recently started getting really emotionally invested. He is just such a good guy it was hard to not fall for him. He’s just very easygoing and respectful. Always asking about my life and offering to pay for everything.

We went out last weekend and had such a good night together. It may have just been me but I felt serious sparks the next day. We just had so much fun. We were just all over eachother at the bar. Like the physical chemistry is intense. He was saying how the night before he was supposed to hang with friends but he wanted to hang with me. He gave me his sweatshirt and we walked home holding hands. We then cuddled on my roof in the rain. He was saying how romantic it was. Had a very passionate night after and cuddled all night. He was also saying at the bar how much fun he was having and we talked about doing it again the next weekend.

Meanwhile it’s now the next weekend and he has off but didn’t ask to hang. I was tempted to ask him but didn’t want to come off as needy. So now I’m wondering if he’s just not in to me besides a casual hookup or he is also not wanting to come off as needy or just hasn’t considered it due to our age difference or that I have a child.

Feel like our relationship has progressed slowly but I really am not sure what he is thinking. Do I need to bring up this convo or is there sometbing I can say casually to see where he stands ? I’m scared to ruin what we have if I tell him how I really feel now.
I think it's better not to talk about your feelings. Not just now, but never at all. I like friendship very much. But if a guy tells me that he likes me so much that he is ready to take care of me for the rest of my life, how important I am to him and so on it scares me away. I try to avoid people like that, because I don't know how to act with them. I think you don't have to think about what will happen and what he thinks. Just keep on being friends and enjoy his company.
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Old 04-24-2023, 11:57 AM
 
Location: Ruston, Louisiana
2,006 posts, read 996,448 times
Reputation: 4584
Quote:
Originally Posted by phillygirl123 View Post
I’ve been casually seeing this guy for almost 3 months. It started out as a perfect casual relationship. He’s 23 and I’m 37 so I figured this would be just a fun hookup since we have a huge age difference. He works night shift and doesn’t always get weekends and I have a son part time so our schedules are kinda tough. He texts me everyday but we only hang out every other week.

I recently started getting really emotionally invested. He is just such a good guy it was hard to not fall for him. He’s just very easygoing and respectful. Always asking about my life and offering to pay for everything.

We went out last weekend and had such a good night together. It may have just been me but I felt serious sparks the next day. We just had so much fun. We were just all over eachother at the bar. Like the physical chemistry is intense. He was saying how the night before he was supposed to hang with friends but he wanted to hang with me. He gave me his sweatshirt and we walked home holding hands. We then cuddled on my roof in the rain. He was saying how romantic it was. Had a very passionate night after and cuddled all night. He was also saying at the bar how much fun he was having and we talked about doing it again the next weekend.

Meanwhile it’s now the next weekend and he has off but didn’t ask to hang. I was tempted to ask him but didn’t want to come off as needy. So now I’m wondering if he’s just not in to me besides a casual hookup or he is also not wanting to come off as needy or just hasn’t considered it due to our age difference or that I have a child.

Feel like our relationship has progressed slowly but I really am not sure what he is thinking. Do I need to bring up this convo or is there sometbing I can say casually to see where he stands ? I’m scared to ruin what we have if I tell him how I really feel now.
As I've always said, FWB will always hurt someone. Always. If you want more, see how he feels and if he doesn't, you really need to move on and learn from this.
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Old 04-24-2023, 12:01 PM
 
6,758 posts, read 4,742,040 times
Reputation: 25921
Here's what I think....you are serving two purposes. Sex with no strings attached, and a mother figure that he can talk to about things.

Even a mature 23 year old male is just not that mature. If you are going to continue seeing him, I would expect you to be realistic about the longevity of the relationship. It's not likely to go the distance. There are exceptions to every rule. Just don't put all your eggs in that basket.
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Old 04-24-2023, 12:10 PM
 
659 posts, read 465,680 times
Reputation: 437
Quote:
Originally Posted by E-Twist View Post
Here's what I think....you are serving two purposes. Sex with no strings attached, and a mother figure that he can talk to about things.

Even a mature 23 year old male is just not that mature. If you are going to continue seeing him, I would expect you to be realistic about the longevity of the relationship. It's not likely to go the distance. There are exceptions to every rule. Just don't put all your eggs in that basket.
I know. I can’t imagine this working long term at all. I just really enjoy hanging with him and I guess I would like to see him more than every other week.
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Old 04-24-2023, 07:19 PM
 
6,415 posts, read 3,903,724 times
Reputation: 17116
If it was originally intended to be a casual relationship, then it's a casual relationship. It's not really fair wanting to change the rules halfway through the game. Of course, that may mean that if "casual" is no longer working for you, you may have to end the relationship. Especially since you've said-- you know you get too emotionally attached. You see it happening... so, what is the appropriate way to act? I think you know-- you're just hoping we'll tell you otherwise.
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Old 04-24-2023, 11:04 PM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,399 posts, read 86,357,901 times
Reputation: 131185
Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyandPearl View Post
A 23 year old male is essentially still an older teenager. He has friends, activities and girls his own age.

Surely you know this situation is temporary.

I'd suggest if you can't keep your feelings in check, to end it. There's lots of other companionship out there.
I also think that he is just a young toy boy, OP wants to keep him, because he surely makes her feel younger too.
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Old 04-25-2023, 01:27 AM
 
2,757 posts, read 2,216,752 times
Reputation: 5580
OP, you are way too much into him for a true FWB. You will end up getting hurt. This is why some posters don't like FWB. Good luck with everything but I just don't think he's that into you. He's got his whole life ahead of him. Enjoy it and move on before you will really get hurt.
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