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Son. Just because you "don't see why" you would have low T and at one point you tested normally, doesn't mean you haven't developed a problem. At your age, your sex drive should be motivating you to seek female contact, but you seem dead inside.
Are you carrying a lot of weight?
I don't weigh as much as I used to but I want to get below 20% bodyfat, however for me it's pretty much impossible. I've hovered between 20 and 30 percent my whole life and I'll always stay that way
I thought asexuality was the absence of all sexual attraction. I still have sexual thoughts and all that, I'm not really sure that I'm completely asexual. I'm not offended at the prospect, just confused as to whether or not I can actually be considered such. Sex is something I've found enjoyable but I've usually felt on edge when I've had it due to the risk of accidental pregnancy.
The link below may help you understand it more. And I personally don't think it's something to be ashamed of. It's an orientation that is extremely misunderstood.
The link below may help you understand it more. And I personally don't think it's something to be ashamed of. It's an orientation that is extremely misunderstood.
This is what I have realized. What if I come to regret my sentiments later? That said I've more or less given up on finding what I want in dating. Any girls I've met from apps haven't usually been very remarkable to me. My interactions with women have always felt sort of artificial, like there's nothing really there except for vague sexual attraction. People sometimes speak of meeting their partners and how everything happened so naturally for them and how there was a spark there and they were really attracted to one another, but I myself have never experienced this
What would you regret? You're living the way you want right now, right?
Sure, you might look back some day and say, "Oh man, I should've gotten with someone so I won't be alone when I'm old." Or you could spend your time and energy (and perhaps money) looking for a relationship you don't really want and feeling guilty that you don't have one. You could regret not having a relationship... or you could regret having one. You could have someone to grow old with... or she could dump you, die, or become incapacitated before/when you get old.
I'm obviously not anti-relationship, but I am anti- letting society make you think you have to be in one or else. If you don't want it... don't feel pressured to do it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wwbsd68
I have a vague idea of wanting a life partner but I don't consider the prospect very realistic. Children is something I absolutely do not want. I've considered getting a vasectomy but some say that they've had horrible chronic pain after the surgery, and that has discouraged me.
Imagine the "horrible chronic pain" of having kids you don't want. (And, you think people don't have complications from pregnancy? Birth control? Female sterilization? Just because it's not happening to *you* doesn't mean it's not a problem.) It might behoove you to look up the actual statistics of men who've had complications from vasectomy.
This is what I have realized. What if I come to regret my sentiments later? That said I've more or less given up on finding what I want in dating. Any girls I've met from apps haven't usually been very remarkable to me. My interactions with women have always felt sort of artificial, like there's nothing really there except for vague sexual attraction. People sometimes speak of meeting their partners and how everything happened so naturally for them and how there was a spark there and they were really attracted to one another, but I myself have never experienced this
You haven't met the right woman yet, and you've been spinning your wheels with dating from the apps.
What have you been doing IRL to meet women? You know, the traditional way: via friends, attending social events, joining hobby groups, activity groups, volunteering, etc.? It's one way to meet women with common interests to you, so at least starting a conversation won't feel fake and forced. If you're sharing an activity with someone on a regular basis through some sort of group, conversation will come naturally. Then if you click in the course of sharing said activity a few weekends or whatever, you can go out for pizza or drinks afterwards, for more conversation, but a little cozier.
Do your friends ever host gatherings of any sort, that women are invited to? Do you ever go to parties or other occasions, that aren't bro-centric? Look for opportunities to mix and mingle with women.
What would you regret? You're living the way you want right now, right?
Sure, you might look back some day and say, "Oh man, I should've gotten with someone so I won't be alone when I'm old." Or you could spend your time and energy (and perhaps money) looking for a relationship you don't really want and feeling guilty that you don't have one. You could regret not having a relationship... or you could regret having one. You could have someone to grow old with... or she could dump you, die, or become incapacitated before/when you get old.
I'm obviously not anti-relationship, but I am anti- letting society make you think you have to be in one or else. If you don't want it... don't feel pressured to do it.
Imagine the "horrible chronic pain" of having kids you don't want. (And, you think people don't have complications from pregnancy? Birth control? Female sterilization? Just because it's not happening to *you* doesn't mean it's not a problem.) It might behoove you to look up the actual statistics of men who've had complications from vasectomy.
In the past I felt more pressure from society to be in a relationship and hook up with girls. In high school and early college, dating/sex was something that my friends had but I didn't, and I felt really insecure about my lack of experience with it. Now I posses some dating experience and I no longer feel the pressures I once did, so the subject of dating itself isn't as much on my mind as it used to be. I think part of the reason why I lost motivation to date is that I've had a mostly unfulfilling time with that, and after a while I subconsciously decided there was no point to any of it. I don't think it's possible that I'll me someone I have a genuine spark about, I always am settling with any women I meet. As for te vasectomy when I got a consultation last year I was told that between 1 and 2 percent of guys that get it have the chronic pain. Seems like pretty good odds but it would be just my luck that it would happen to me. Still, I'm going to have to go thru with it at some point. I don't really feel like it's worth it to have sex unless I don't have to worry about a pregnancy scare.
You haven't met the right woman yet, and you've been spinning your wheels with dating from the apps.
What have you been doing IRL to meet women? You know, the traditional way: via friends, attending social events, joining hobby groups, activity groups, volunteering, etc.? It's one way to meet women with common interests to you, so at least starting a conversation won't feel fake and forced. If you're sharing an activity with someone on a regular basis through some sort of group, conversation will come naturally. Then if you click in the course of sharing said activity a few weekends or whatever, you can go out for pizza or drinks afterwards, for more conversation, but a little cozier.
Do your friends ever host gatherings of any sort, that women are invited to? Do you ever go to parties or other occasions, that aren't bro-centric? Look for opportunities to mix and mingle with women.
I'm not really doing anything to meet women irl, my life really isn't conducive to that. My social circle is small and my hobbies are pretty solitary. I'm introverted so most of the time I don't really go out. I attend lectures at my local hindu temple every week and sometimes there's women there but not any I could date. I'm almost certain I'd never find any dateable women there. My friends never host anything where there's women either, but right now I only have one friend I hang out with on a regular basis. Even if I met a dateable woman in real life it would be very difficult for me to succeed. I've never gone on a date with any women I've initially met in real life. I don't really have any confidence in my ability to do so. I'm pretty much forced to use apps since I'm never in situations where there's women I could date and even if there were any I wouldn't be able to do anything. If it wasn't for apps I would still be a virgin at this age
How did you meet all those women you slept with, and the one you were in a one-year relationship with?
If I was unable to function socially in the non-digital world, I would be thinking about getting a diagnosis and treatment.
I met them all thru apps pretty much. Even though apps have their problems at the very least if you match with someone on there you know they're looking. In real life it's more ambiguous than that, and in this day and age it's become almost socially unacceptable to make the initial connection irl. I've always felt uneasy about doing that. In college whenever I saw an attractive woman in class or anywhere I would always tell myself that approaching wasn't worth it and that I should forget about doing anything more than admiring her from afar. Since I don't really meet any women in real life I have no way to practice these skills, and I never learned them when I was supposed to. When I was a teenager I never talked to girls because I was afraid I would do something wrong and be seen as a creep, and I went to a small private school so if you did anything embarrassing the whole student body would know in a very short time. With the prospect of meeting women in real life two things are against me. I can't count on meeting any dateable women in public, and even if I did I don't have any way of doing anything with it.
When I was a teenager I never talked to girls because I was afraid I would do something wrong and be seen as a creep, and I went to a small private school so if you did anything embarrassing the whole student body would know in a very short time. With the prospect of meeting women in real life two things are against me. I can't count on meeting any dateable women in public, and even if I did I don't have any way of doing anything with it.
This is what makes me think you have no sex drive toward women. Men meet women every day and don't fear it the way you do. Because they are confident in their desire, and they let their instincts take over. Even teens and younger dudes typically don't have a problem conversing with girls casually and including them in their circle.
Wait a minute though... Are you an Indian Guy?
Indian Guy Issues(tm) seem to carry their own unique cultural burdens, quite distinct from Western Guy Issues.
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