When did being a musician start counting against you in the dating world (wife, married)
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Got a point there, I play all my own instruments for my solo work(guitar, bass, synth and drums), and I even use vocaloid for my backing vocals so none of the female singing you hear is a real person, so session musicians and vocalists have been having a hard time of it, but it's never been a better time for artists who want to tour or artists who want to sell their music online and avoid the labels, but the days of posting on the corkboard at every studio in town and building a name as a session musician are almost over as studios are closing left and right(at least around here) as anyone with a modicum of talent can torrent protools buy a $40 mixer a $99 midi keyboard and produce radio quality music.
That is absolutely 100% the opposite of the kind of music I thought you played when you started the thread.
Good job though, it's very ... cyber. Keep on musicianing.
Actually I do all types of music, I sit in with a punk band playing guitar and an alt rock band playing bass. but EDM is the easiest music for me to do by myself
I overheard a lady in a starbucks say that they would never date a musician but I didn't hear why so now I'm curious to see if anyone else wouldn't date one, because I am one. What makes musicians unappealing to you? Also I've met several women in the past 5 months since I started playing and doing shows again that once they find out or I mention my side hustle seem to view it as a strike against me..... WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN????
I mean prior to leaving music on the back burner to raise my family, being a musician attracted women like bears to honey, these days even the women who still want to date me view it as atleast a yellow flag.
Don't get me wrong, if I wanted to get laid after a show I have my pick just like the old days, but that was not my thing even in my 20's, but in my 20's it was a point in my favor even in forming real relationships, these days not so much. And I understand that playing music won't bring um in once past 30, but why does it push them away?
I've never been interested in musicians as relationship material. Working in bars and clubs I've known a lot of them, like many performers the ones I knew were self-focused, insecure about the next gig, had big egos, felt entitled, viewed women as a perk of the job.
Against my better judgement I was briefly involved with the lead singer () of a popular local band with a big fan base. It was just as chaotic as I knew it would be, with girls everywhere and resistance weak. I will admit the sex was great though.
Rock musicians have given themselves a reputation for excess, instability, unfaithfulness, erratic self-destructive behavior, thoughtlessness and cruelty to women they're involved with, and more. I recently read Pattie Boyd's book, George Harrison wrote a book, Eric wrote a book, everybody's writing books of true confession. In a very different time from the 60s, 70s, 80s. All the books about Elvis and drug use and women. It's a different time and it doesn't impress today, if it ever did.
What we did in our twenties, who we had crushes on, who we dated is a very different thing to what we're looking for in our thirties.
Sure if women want to have some fun for a while, go for it. But keep your emotions in check and unless they play french horn or first violin for the symphony, don't even consider musicians as relationship material. IMO
I would think that women that are older and have been around the block may be more wary of musicians, I don't know for sure. Younger women may be more "star struck" so to speak.
I think the level of success might also factor into it. If some dude is playing in a cover band trying to make a living traveling around in an old van and playing local night clubs and scraping around and barely getting by might not be as appealing. The idea sounds sort of cool, you know, living your dream man. LOL.
I've always had a much more pragmatic side. Yes, the standard 9 to 5 grind at the office is pretty staid and boring in contrast, but the steadiness of a consistent paycheck and the day to day routine seems more realistic to more people than the lifestyle of a touring musician.
If you have a standard job but you play nightclubs or weddings on the weekends for fun or a bit of side money, I think that would probably be more appealing to more women/people.
Actually I do all types of music, I sit in with a punk band playing guitar and an alt rock band playing bass. but EDM is the easiest music for me to do by myself
I always thought EDM was for younger crowds, maybe thats part of the issue if you are looking for your own age.
I wouldn't want to date a musician, too. I think they are very fragile and will often feel offended by other people, won't be able to stand up for themselves, will complain to me and expect support from me, but I am fragile too, I need maybe even more support, therefore, no.
If someone is dating with thoughts of an eventual long term relationship with marriage and kids and works a traditional day job, she might be more attracted to partners who don't travel, don't work evenings, and don't have a side gig that they are passionate about. Subconsciously I think some women are just more attracted to someone who will have time for them and if things develop would be around to be a partner in childcare responsibilities down the road (no one wants to feel like they are a single parent).
A side gig or career someone is passionate about is wonderful. But certain things like this mean a less traditional lifestyle that is not as easy on families. No one wants to put a damper on someone's passion or have them give something they love up. Some professions in general are harder to balance with family life though.
I always thought EDM was for younger crowds, maybe thats part of the issue if you are looking for your own age.
You would be surprised, since EDM got popular in the 90's the fanbase is kinda spread out my music in particular skews in the 30's so any woman I date would not have to worry about me banging 20 year olds.
If someone is dating with thoughts of an eventual long term relationship with marriage and kids and works a traditional day job, she might be more attracted to partners who don't travel, don't work evenings, and don't have a side gig that they are passionate about. Subconsciously I think some women are just more attracted to someone who will have time for them and if things develop would be around to be a partner in childcare responsibilities down the road (no one wants to feel like they are a single parent).
A side gig or career someone is passionate about is wonderful. But certain things like this mean a less traditional lifestyle that is not as easy on families. No one wants to put a damper on someone's passion or have them give something they love up. Some professions in general are harder to balance with family life though.
^^^^This.
"I mean prior to leaving music on the back burner to raise my family, being a musician attracted women like bears to honey, these days even the women who still want to date me view it as atleast a yellow flag."
Back in the day, you were younger, and your groupies were younger and more likely to still be in a rebellious stage. Women who want to date you are probably not in the "groupie" age range. Non-traditional lifestyle is not as attractive once you are past that initial phase.
"I mean prior to leaving music on the back burner to raise my family, being a musician attracted women like bears to honey, these days even the women who still want to date me view it as atleast a yellow flag."
Back in the day, you were younger, and your groupies were younger and more likely to still be in a rebellious stage. Women who want to date you are probably not in the "groupie" age range. Non-traditional lifestyle is not as attractive once you are past that initial phase.
Oh I never really did the Groupie thing(why would I want to sleep with women who slept with who ever played last night?), but back in the day having artistic talent actually gave me a few extra points in finding normal girlfriends also.
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