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First of all, that comment is not that bad. Trust me, worse will be said in marriage. Third, sounds like she's trying to tell you something to effect of: you are taking me for granted. .
I disagree, that comment IS that bad. And my experience when someone said that to me was not that they were feeling taken for granted, but that they were too arrogant, lazy and unwilling to work on their own crap.
During my marriage when I made requests to then-husband, his flip canned response was 'there's plenty of women who would be glad to have me.' An effective end to any conversation, discussion, and certainly a flat out refusal to look at his behavior. His point was I could put up with his shi*t or I could hit the highway because no way in hell was he going to address what i considered unacceptable behavior on his part.
I chose to hit the highway and have been very happy with my choice. Those women "waiting in line" can have him and his arrogance.
I disagree, that comment IS that bad. And my experience when someone said that to me was not that they were feeling taken for granted, but that they were too arrogant, lazy and unwilling to work on their own crap.
During my marriage when I made requests to then-husband, his flip canned response was 'there's plenty of women who would be glad to have me.' An effective end to any conversation, discussion, and certainly a flat out refusal to look at his behavior. His point was I could put up with his shi*t or I could hit the highway because no way in hell was he going to address what i considered unacceptable behavior on his part.
I chose to hit the highway and have been very happy with my choice. Those women "waiting in line" can have him and his arrogance.
We all have our different experiances in life. Even the same comment being used defensive or offensive. I've had that comment said to me by a wife who felt she never did a thing wrong in her life, and recently told a girl that who was treating me like crap.
I really wish he would say what sparked the comment. Him complaining about something she did, or in responce to something he made her mad about.
Why did she make that comment? Was it out of the blue or did you 2 have an argument that led her to make that comment? I don't necessarily recommend breaking off the engagement b/c of a comment. But that "I'm not talking to you" part is a bit immature. If you're the bigger man, then you should reopen the channels of communication and discuss her comment and what preceded it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by itlchick
Geez, no wonder the divorce rate is so high.
...
The divorce rate is so high b/c many people are getting married when they shouldn't.
My fiancee said to me the other night, "there are people lined up to date me".
So basically she's telling me that she's wanted by other guys.
So as a truditional guy (no pre-marital sex) I felt insulted.
Kind of like I settled for you and I could have gotten someone better.
So I haven't spoken to her in 2 days.
Do I contintue not speaking to her or wait for her to appologize or break it off?
I don't know, just feel insulted and I feel like she's telling me that she could do better etc, etc.
SORRY, I MEAN GUYS & GALLS
First, I realize how serious this situation is for you to ask for feedback from galls.
Everyone is missing the whole point here!!!
She has not called YOU for 2 days??!!! A woman engaged has not called on the phone in TWO DAYS???!!! Or maybe she has called and you stare at the caller ID, thinking, hmm, should I get this? Mmm, naw, she is probably BUSY with number 17 on her list.
Will someone please inform John1960, we have a hot tip for his next thread! Engaged woman does not speak on phone for 2 days. Sorry, that in itself speaks volumes about the relationship.
I hope you post back up so we can see how you handled this. I have a feeling you will handle it like a trooper and it will set a precedence for the rest of your marriage, either good or bad depending on how you handle it.
My fiancee said to me the other night, "there are people lined up to date me".
So basically she's telling me that she's wanted by other guys.
So as a truditional guy (no pre-marital sex) I felt insulted.
Kind of like I settled for you and I could have gotten someone better.
So I haven't spoken to her in 2 days.
Do I contintue not speaking to her or wait for her to appologize or break it off?
I don't know, just feel insulted and I feel like she's telling me that she could do better etc, etc.
SORRY, I MEAN GUYS & GALLS
Well, now it's been four days - are you guys talking yet?
My fiancee said to me the other night, "there are people lined up to date me".
So basically she's telling me that she's wanted by other guys.
So as a truditional guy (no pre-marital sex) I felt insulted.
Kind of like I settled for you and I could have gotten someone better.
So I haven't spoken to her in 2 days.
Do I contintue not speaking to her or wait for her to appologize or break it off?
I don't know, just feel insulted and I feel like she's telling me that she could do better etc, etc.
SORRY, I MEAN GUYS & GALLS
I haven't read all of the posts but I think I know what she's telling you...
If she says this at a time when you're arguing, especially if the argument came about because she told you that you are not meeting her needs, what she's saying is that you'd better get your ass into gear or else she's going to leave you in favor of pursuing someone else.
If she REALLY believed she could've gotten someone better at the time that she started dating you, she wouldn't have started dating you... so you can factor that out. If things have deteriorated somewhat since you started dating, she may be thinking "I WAS desirable and if I were single again, I would have no problem finding another man who wants to date me and try to make me happy".
I've busted that line myself a few times in the past... and it's always been at times when I was p*ssed that my girl wasn't trying hard enough to keep me happy in the relationship. If your girl is telling you this stuff out of the blue, then get rid of her. If it's always at "problem times", my suggestion is that you should try to figure out what she thinks those other guys could possibly offer her that you are not offering her... and then make sure you offer it (unless it's sex... in which case, keep your morals, run away, and don't look back).
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Engaged woman does not speak on phone for 2 days. Sorry, that in itself speaks volumes about the relationship.
