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Alot of women desire to stay at home and have time for themselves to do what they want. Kids or no kids. Women were never meant to be working office jobs or strenuous blue collar work for 8 to 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. It's a very small percentage of women with the capabilities and fervent drive to be the businesswomen and presidents of tomorrow. Most want to be wives and mothers and tend to themselves and their homes.
Of course women can and do work 5 days a week 8 to 10 hours a day. Some even work more. And they also are wives, mothers and tend to themselves and their homes.
And since when is the capability and fervent drive to be a business person and president of tomorrow required to work a job? I’ve worked in a male dominated industry for 40+ years and can unequivocally report I’ve worked with maybe 2 men who fit your criteria. Guess they shouldn’t be working, but be at home being husbands, fathers and tending to themselves and their homes.
As a nostalgia buff, I just love it when the forum revisits the attitudes of the past. Bless your hearts, you delusional throwbacks who think the world of 1950s TV sitcoms is ever going to come back.
Not to mention 1950s sitcoms were no more reality than sitcoms are today. 34% of women worked outside the home in 1955. And shocker, not everyone was white, lived in the suburbs, and had pearls and heels to wear to greet their husband after work. This version of 1950s reality has been conflated by some to represent all women and what all women still want. Nope.
There is a thing where woman who are girlfriends or wives with no kids stay at home and I just do not understand this. It is one thing if you have kids but if I would never want to be with a woman who has no kids and just wanted to stay at home. If a man does this we call him him lazy, unmotivated but there is a double standard when it comes to woman. If it just you two how long does it really take to do laundry or clean where you live? Also what if you boyfriend/husband divorces you or dies what are you gonna do it is not a good long term situation.
You dont have to understand other peoples relationship arrangements. If you do not want to support your SO financially you do not have to be involved with someone who will not or does not want to be financially independent. I certainly would not have a partner who expected me to financialy support them and I have never relied on a partner to financially support me.
I think in some situations men want a wife to not work so she can take care of him and the home and domestic responsibilities. Women who stay at home do more than laundry. They do almost EVERYTHING so all a man has to do is go to work. No cooking, no cleaning, no shopping, no laundry, no paying bills, no making appointments, no walking the dog, no planning, no gift buying, no family function responsibilities, etc. Often he dosent even pick up after himself. I've known SAHs who even lay out their clothes for the next day. Sometimes in this situation the SAH has no say about anything either since they have no control over the money.
Personally, I dont understand why anyone would want to live this way but its none of my business.
The fifties is gone, irrelevant to modern times. Couples make their own arrangements now, it can be anything. Definitely more SAH men with female breadwinners. We also have more people working from home to add to the mix. I like the idea of creating a best life balance for couples with fewer rules. There are always some sour grapes types trying to throw a wrench into it but people gonna do what works for them.
I was raised when nobody’s mother worked after they got married. Even with my parents friends with no kids, the wife stayed home and took care of the home.
Women are not all the same. Some are happy with careers and some are not. If the family doesn’t need her income, if I’m a man with a wife and kids, I’d rather know my kids and household are being managed to run smoothly.
Being a homemaker used to be considered a respectable job. Houses were clean, meals were cooked, and the kids were not left to fend for themselves.
I was raised when nobody’s mother worked after they got married. Even with my parents friends with no kids, the wife stayed home and took care of the home.
Women are not all the same. Some are happy with careers and some are not. If the family doesn’t need her income, if I’m a man with a wife and kids, I’d rather know my kids and household are being managed to run smoothly.
Being a homemaker used to be considered a respectable job. Houses were clean, meals were cooked, and the kids were not left to fend for themselves.
You’re implying that women who work have dirty homes, subsist on fast food and neglect their kids. They don’t. They manage their time to have clean homes, home cooked meals and tend to their kids just like SAH parents. Implying otherwise is not only untrue, it belittles women who run households and contribute financially adding to the issue of working/SAH women being pitted against each other when women should be supporting each others choices.
Alot of women desire to stay at home and have time for themselves to do what they want. Kids or no kids. Women were never meant to be working office jobs or strenuous blue collar work for 8 to 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. It's a very small percentage of women with the capabilities and fervent drive to be the businesswomen and presidents of tomorrow. Most want to be wives and mothers and tend to themselves and their homes.
Wow, watch men hating feminists in this thread shred you to pieces for your statement.
But IMHO one of the biggest problems with the non working spouse is what happens in divorce. And with roughly 50% of the US marriages ending in divorce that is initiated by women in 70% of the cases, divorce is a real possibility. So in case of a now working spouse without kids, a man will have to support her for years by paying alimony. If the woman is young, alimony can be awarded for a couple of years so that she can find a job, get appropriate training or education, etc... For older women, alimony can be awarded for life.
When there are children, divorce can be especially financially devastating for men as he will have to pay child support and alimony, finding himself barely able to afford studio apartment in a bad neighborhood...
So in theory a non working spouse who takes care of the house, cooks every day and goes to the gum every day is very pleasant for a guy. I experienced that a few times when my wife was out of work for long periods of time. But reality is very different...
Last edited by DefiantNJ; 05-24-2023 at 08:40 AM..
Women are not all the same. Some are happy with careers and some are not. If the family doesn’t need her income, if I’m a man with a wife and kids, I’d rather know my kids and household are being managed to run smoothly.
Being a homemaker used to be considered a respectable job. Houses were clean, meals were cooked, and the kids were not left to fend for themselves.
I agree.
I've been in many situations, working two jobs, or one job or 2 part-time jobs or working from home etc and also at home nonworking. I was happy in all situations.
When I was younger and working some people used to ask me all the time "When are you going to marry and have kids?" and when I was not working people also used to ask me all the time "Why aren't you working?". Someone asked me "What do you do all day long? Don't you get bored?" Lots of projection. And this was a complete stranger, the first time that I met her in my life.
The same thing with having or not having children. "Why don't you have children, you are so tall?" Or "Why don't you have children, you could teach them foreign languages?" On and on and on, one more weird question than another, it never ends.
Wow, watch men hating feminists in this thread shred you to pieces for your statement.
But IMHO one of the biggest problems with the non working spouse is what happens in divorce. And with roughly 50% of the US marriages ending in divorce that is initiated by women in 70% of the cases, divorce is a real possibility. So in case of a now working spouse without kids, a man will have to support her for years by paying alimony. If the woman is young, alimony can be awarded for a couple of years so that she can find a job, get appropriate training or education, etc... For older women, alimony can be awarded for life.
When there are children, divorce can be especially financially devastating for men as he will have to pay child support and alimony, finding himself barely able to afford studio apartment in a bad neighborhood...
So in theory a non working spouse who takes care of the house, cooks every day and goes to the gum every day is very pleasant for a guy. I experienced that a few times when my wife was out of work for long periods of time. But reality is very different...
Financially devastating for the non working woman as well. That’s why women should be educated and be able to support themselves. Divorce happens. So does death. Everyone should set themselves up to weather life’s vagaries.
There is a thing where woman who are girlfriends or wives with no kids stay at home and I just do not understand this. It is one thing if you have kids but if I would never want to be with a woman who has no kids and just wanted to stay at home. If a man does this we call him him lazy, unmotivated but there is a double standard when it comes to woman. If it just you two how long does it really take to do laundry or clean where you live? Also what if you boyfriend/husband divorces you or dies what are you gonna do it is not a good long term situation.
LOL, this has been my life-long goal. I have never desired to work outside the home.
BUT, the reality is that I started working in high school and haven't stopped. Still, to this day, if I give myself a chance to stop and think about it when I wake up M-F, all I can focus on is how to get out of going. So, because of that, I'm normally sitting at my desk up to an hour early because that is what it takes to get me here. And I don't have a bad job. I love my coworkers (small unit of 4). I've had the same nice, large, private office with windows since 2005. Rarely does anyone bother me. Very little oversight. Accrue 8hrs/sick and 15 hrs/vacation each month. I got to work from home for about 6 weeks when COVID hit and it was the best time of my life.
I could easily spend 4+ hours a day on general upkeep of the household, including the finances, etc. Then add in another hour or two for cooking. A part-time work-from-home job where you set your own hours would be wonderful.
For now, I'll continue counting down until I can afford to 'retire'. I have to hit the rule of 80 first, and then it's basically Years of Service x 2.3%. 2031 would be my first chance to do so, but at only about 2/3 of my salary, I'd have to find some additional income.
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Or "Why don't you have children, you could teach them foreign languages?" 
On and on and on, one more weird question than another, it never ends.