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When I dated back in the day I noticed the guys (gay men)) would open up and start talking about their childhood wounds, weird experiences that I could not relate too, or talk of their "low self esteem". Yes, one guy actually admitted to me that he has low self esteem. My reaction was to freeze. I didn't really feel more connected with the persons, I started feeling pushed away and treated like I was their personal therapist. lol. They were also not too interested in my life which is another reason why I started having second thoughts about dating and had that frozen over feeling.
So is that intimacy? or too much too soon? or just selfishness?
I don't think so, many of my friends have said those types of experiences to me. I'd call it opening up to someone close but this doesn't seem to be something restricted to partners
The more people open up to each other, the closer they get. I find that personally it's very hard to become close friends with someone if you keep everything to yourself. When the other person feels like you trust them and feel comfortable telling them very personal stuff, it creates bonds.
I don't know if that helped or not but yeah, I would say that it is a form of mental intimacy. The guys are feeling very comfortable opening up to you. Maybe you just look caring LOL.
I think that everyones interpretation of intimacy is going to be different..but if they were not interested in your life then it does sound less like an 'opening up and sharing' experience than asking the other person to be a sounding board or therapist..which is fine - as long as they have made sure you are Ok with it.
The more people open up to each other, the closer they get. I find that personally it's very hard to become close friends with someone if you keep everything to yourself. When the other person feels like you trust them and feel comfortable telling them very personal stuff, it creates bonds.
I don't know if that helped or not but yeah, I would say that it is a form of mental intimacy. The guys are feeling very comfortable opening up to you. Maybe you just look caring LOL.
I think that everyones interpretation of intimacy is going to be different..but if they were not interested in your life then it does sound less like an 'opening up and sharing' experience than asking the other person to be a sounding board or therapist..which is fine - as long as they have made sure you are Ok with it.
well, if it was reciprocal then yes I can be a sounding board.
Well, that goes without saying in my book... but my book might be ancient...
Quote:
I'm young I just want to have fun and not be weighed down with people's personal problems.
Will have to repeat my original suggestion...
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I noticed the guys (gay men)) would open up and start talking about their childhood wounds, weird experiences that I could not relate too, or talk of their "low self esteem". Yes, one guy actually admitted to me that he has low self esteem. My reaction was to freeze. I didn't really feel more connected with the persons, I started feeling pushed away and treated like I was their personal therapist. lol. They were also not too interested in my life which is another reason why I started having second thoughts about dating and had that frozen over feeling.
