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This is very, very true. A controlling person is never going to take on a person who can already take care of herself (or himself...women obviously can be quite controlling too).
This is true to some extend, but not entirely. You may be perfectly capable of taking care of yourself and still have some particular void such a type can fill...
You will never understand me, never know me until you take the time, and believe me, I do not expect you to... to read from the beginning. You will never know, not ever.
That's where you're wrong, Cinder... my first impulse was just to say "fine, you're stupid enough to do what you're doing.. you play.. you pay." But, as many posters on here will know (and you would, too, if you got out of your "look at me" world and read any of the other posts where I tried to offer insightful experience and information) I do have this stupid 'thing' about trying to offer the wisdom from my not-so-perfect life.
So you can live in this particular thread all you want. As you said, it's your choice... it's a free world. But if you have any intelligence at all, you will read what I'm about to say subjectively...
It doesn't take a brain surgeon to see what you are doing here is so wrong. This is page 21 of responses... 21!!!!!! And the last 5 pages of responses (at least) have been people you respect and that apparently care about you telling you that they think this wrong. Don't listen to me... hate me for all I give a crap, but listen to them.
I don't have to know you. I can read. I can see what you are doing, and despite the fact that I think you're selfish and are posting these threads to draw attention you are desparately seeking for yourself, you are still a real person with children.
The only piece of advice I can give you, drawn from 21 pages I have read about you, to you, and from your friends who understand you, is to slow down (better yet STOP) this relationship with D. If he really is Mr. Right, won't he be there when you are really ready for him? If it's really meant to be, then it will be regardless of when you say "I'm ready."
Stop... take time to figure out who the hell YOU are. What do YOU like? What do YOU want to do? What do YOU want out of life? Until you know ... not "think" you know.. but really know, you won't be ready to accept anyone else into your life. If he cares for you and is right for you... when you can answer these questions with conviction, he will be there. If not, then you'll have more insight, experience and be a step wiser.
Hate me...despise me... delude yourself to think I'm too moronic to understand the simple (and they are simple) things going on in your life... I could care less. But for goodness sake, take control of your life instead of letting it control you!!!!
I've no idea what she feels and I don't know her. On the other hand, the penmanship of her company gives me (and many others) the creeps.
Well, I can tell you, from my experience, that when supposedly well-meaning members start posting the way they did with Robyn right here, it really doesn't feel very friendly or very supportive. In fact, it feels downright hateful.
I already stated my opinion of D and it is not much different from what others have posted here about him.
But you know what... she's going to do what she's going to do. And she's now filed all these opinions away for future reference. We're now at the point where it's no longer constructive, imo.... it's just piling on.
So Robyn... go and have your fun. Open up a blog on blogspot and post pictures! But do remember that pretty much everyone here saw red flags. And, less than a year after moving out on your own, I do think there's a lot to be said for playing the field and having some fun. I know I went to my state-mandated divorce education class, and they described the whole grieving process... guesstimates of the amount of time it takes to really being able to move on ranged from 1 to 3 years, with the instructor (a social worker) being on the 3-year end of the range.
But that doesn't mean you don't have your fun for 3 years! But I would be careful about becoming too vulnerable too quickly, that's all.
Well, I can tell you, from my experience, that when supposedly well-meaning members start posting the way they did with Robyn right here, it really doesn't feel very friendly or very supportive. In fact, it feels downright hateful.
I'm done here. Anybody is entitled to destroying his/her own life. I've never questioned that and I've never bothered anybody with my advices. The reason I got involved here is it's way more than that in this case.
Here's how I see it. You worked so hard and succeeded at becoming independent. Suddenly you gave a stranger the key to your heart and the key to your diary. Ironically, months ago, you worried about a hacker getting into your C-D account and now you have invited a real hacker into your life. I like guys who march to the beat of a different drum, but this guy comes across as creepy. I believe nothing would please him more than for you ditch your friends on this forum, as there are too many of us who don't agree with him. I know it's hard to see the forest from the trees. Think of it this way, if he makes you feel happy, just imagine how happy you'd be with a man who was secure enough to allow you the privicy, independence and respect we all need?
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