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Okay... I was gonna reply on the Phone Sex thread.. but I don't think that was the proper place to go where I was going (hence: starting this thread). That said... I think some important differences have to be acknowledged in the way things are approached. Because there are so many different types of people, let me preface this by saying I think I'm generalizing and stereotyping based on my experience (I'm 43, have lived in 5 states and 4 countries).
Men are physical beings by nature. Agree or not, this applies to most men that I have known. When men cheat on their SOs, it has generally been with either younger women or women with a "more firm" body. Men can be stimulated with a thought, a gesture, a picture, a leaf falling to the ground , you name it. If it's kept in mind that men are bottom line physical, the behaviors of men are more easily predictable.
Women on the other hand are more emotional by nature. Most of the women I've known who have cheated on their SO have done so with a close friend, a co-worker, etc. Someone they have been able to develop an emotional connection with they may not have with their SO. That's not to say that women don't get stimulated by some of the same stimuli as men, but they are less likely to act on it.
Consider something else. Take an average woman and average man. They are both in an "amorous" mood and are going to a club with the intention of "hooking up." Who's more likely to be successful and in a much shorter duration of time of effort? The woman. Why? Because men are physical and much more likely to pursue a woman seeking a physical relationship than women are to respond to a man. Nature or nuture? Not my call. In a show I watched (yeah... Discovery or something), a woman went to a club and stated "I like you, do you want to go have sex?" with 100 men. I don't remember the exact number, but it was high 80s as a percentage who said "yes." A similarly attractive male went into a club and asked the same thing of 100 women. Only 1 said "yes."
Bottom line... it's easy to pass judgement on men who try to find alternate ways of satisfying what some professionals argue is a basic human need (see Maslow's Theory of Hierarchy) when women have a much higher chance of fulfilling that need as it occurs.
This isn't a post condoning prostitution, or phone sex, or infidelity. It's to hopefully stimulate some additional thought before you pass judgement on something you may or may not be considering the whole picture on. That's all. I posted this knowing I'm going to be blasted by some... but if one or two people can consider this (notice that I didn't say "agree"), then I've achieved something.
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I agree that men and women are wired differently, but I get a hint of "excuses" when the biology of infidelity (of any character) is brought up. Whatever in-born drives and instincts we men have, we are also born with a conscious awareness that is more powerful than any instinct. When a man is caught cheating, jerking off in front of the computer or otherwise engaging in behavior that hurts people he loves, he has still made choices to be in that position. There are many men who stay faithful to SO's who have been rendered asexual by cancer treatments, for example, and never bat an eye. That's not a biological urge, that's commitment. Commitment is what is human, answering an urge is what is animal.
I agree that men and women are wired differently, but I get a hint of "excuses" when the biology of infidelity (of any character) is brought up. Whatever in-born drives and instincts we men have, we are also born with a conscious awareness that is more powerful than any instinct. When a man is caught cheating, jerking off in front of the computer or otherwise engaging in behavior that hurts people he loves, he has still made choices to be in that position. There are many men who stay faithful to SO's who have been rendered asexual by cancer treatments, for example, and never bat an eye. That's not a biological urge, that's commitment. Commitment is what is human, answering an urge is what is animal.
You are correct. I thought I said "This isn't a post condoning prostitution, or phone sex, or infidelity.." but I could be wrong. Meant to. I also thought I said I was generalizing... since everyone is different. It was a long post. And just there to provoke thought and discussion. Thanks for engaging.
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Originally Posted by Rathagos
You are correct. I thought I said "This isn't a post condoning prostitution, or phone sex, or infidelity.." but I could be wrong. Meant to. I also thought I said I was generalizing... since everyone is different. It was a long post. And just there to provoke thought and discussion. Thanks for engaging.
I wasn't trying to point that at anyone in particular, I just saw that you were looking for different viewpoints. Thought I'd drop mine.
Jim, Nope.. no offense... not at all.. just felt stupid... I get typing and "mean" to put things in that I often don't get to. Then... I get to be doubly stupid because I saw I did put it in there! So... I'm taking my stupid self out of this now! You're inputs are valued.. that's why I write. I try to start threads that get people talking (not fighting).
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Originally Posted by Rathagos
Yes... but on the base level of the pyramid, along with "food, water, and air" he added "sex". It depends on which text is used, of course.
I studied a lot of group dynamics in college. It was amazing to me just how much Maslow ass was kissed by my professors. I think it's interesting study fare, but at the core its really a fine example of the Dilbert Principle's "Mastery of the Obvious."
Yes... but on the base level of the pyramid, along with "food, water, and air" he added "sex". It depends on which text is used, of course.
Ha, the versions I'd seen before didn't include sex on first level. Now that you mentioned it, I checked more pyramids and sex is indeed included in some. So what is it...? Did Maslow have it included or did others interpret it according to the point they try to make?
Ha, the versions I'd seen before didn't include sex on first level. Now that you mentioned it, I checked more pyramids and sex is indeed included in some. So what is it...? Did Maslow have it included or did others interpret it according to the point they try to make?
Don't ask me... as with most statisticians, I found the facts that only met MY arguement! lol
Honestly I don't know... it's just something I remembered from my early college years.
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, you name it. If it's kept in mind that men are bottom line physical, the behaviors of men are more easily predictable. 
So... I'm taking my stupid self out of this now! You're inputs are valued.. that's why I write. I try to start threads that get people talking (not fighting). 
