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If you're sure about not wanting to be a parent, a vasectomy or tubal only makes sense. I call it "the lack of spirit made flesh." I got my tubal at age 30, not earlier, because no one would agree to do it before that (in the bad old days).
Yes, someone could still think I'd change my mind, but I had the tubal because I knew I'd never want to be a parent, and if it was a deal-breaker for someone, then the deal would be broken. The "right man" wouldn't want a hypothetical child (usually a DNA immortality thing, not a desire to be a parent) over the love of his life (me). I might have lost one great guy over it, but maybe we made better close friends. He absolutely wanted to be a parent. I completely didn't, and knew it.
I think women are lucky on the childfree issue. Anecdotally, I'd say that a lot more men want to be childfree than women. I've yet to meet a man who already had a kid or kids for whom having another was an insistance, or even a desire.
To the OP, I wish you the best of luck and hope the sites others gave you are beneficial. I think it's great that you're being honest with women, even though it's a source of frustration.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LAFan
I'm 19 and I never want kids either, and I know its going to be hard to find a girl who is 100% childfree. Girls are petty like that. Its like they're intimidated by childfree men, I don't get that. I personally wish girls weren't like this and would accept a man for who he is.
LAFan, I feel compelled to reply to your post. If a girl doesn't want to get into a relationship with you because you don't want children, it is not personal. It's not petty, either. Rather, it is mature and honest. Why should someone agree to give up parenthood for you or waste their time dating you long-term? I'm not saying you, personally, are a waste of time. But, if someone is out there seeking a future spouse with whom they would like to have children, then you don't meet the criteria. You certainly wouldn't want them to lie to you, then spring it on you later that they were hopeful of changing your mind. Hope this makes sense, but please don't think this is personal and that the women are petty. They're just being honest with you, as you were with them. Hopefully, in a tactful way. Cheers.
LAFan, I feel compelled to reply to your post. If a girl doesn't want to get into a relationship with you because you don't want children, it is not personal. It's not petty, either. Rather, it is mature and honest. Why should someone agree to give up parenthood for you or waste their time dating you long-term? I'm not saying you, personally, are a waste of time. But, if someone is out there seeking a future spouse with whom they would like to have children, then you don't meet the criteria. You certainly wouldn't want them to lie to you, then spring it on you later that they were hopeful of changing your mind. Hope this makes sense, but please don't think this is personal and that the women are petty. They're just being honest with you, as you were with them. Hopefully, in a tactful way. Cheers.
I would hate for a girl to try and change me. I hate that girls do change their mind. They say they don't, but ends up changing their minds. That annoys me.
I've always known that I don't want to have kids. It's not that I hate them, in fact working with kids is part of my job; I just know that the parenting lifestyle isn't for me.
In my early 20s, this wasn't really a problem when dating girls since at that age, having kids isn't really on people's minds. However, now that I'm in my late 20s, I'm finding that as soon as I tell a girl that I don't want to have kids, she loses interest in me. Is there anyone else who also plans on not having children who has this problem. Anyone know of an online social network/dating site for people like us?
Hi,
I'm in my late 20's and I don't want kids either.
I didn't want children either, till I got to 30. Once I had them I realised how fantastic being a parent is - I got put off because my little sister was born when I was 20 and I saw what hard work it was! But being the actual parent was totally different to being the sibling. Why do you feel so strongly about this? You need to look at the reasons why. But if you are sure then that's your decision. My brother and sister in law have no children - they are very happy and have lots of fun travelling and going places - they have freedom.
Dude, what is your problem? Is there something wrong with be because I don't want children?
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