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That is just nonsense. Fighting her accomplishes nothing. And I wouldn't fight. If she shows up, I'm leaving.
Of course fighting accomplishes nothing. I'm JUST BEING SARCASTIC,. like I have been saying before! (WOW, you do listen very well LOL!)
Yeah, I don't think you should get your marriage together... you've made it too difficult for your marriage to get better... .your bitterness knows no end. I hope you find someone else new, and perhaps you can continue to be so angry at your soon-to-be-exhusband, that you'll drive your next man (if there will be any) away... yes, that would be a nice future for you!! LOL!
Or, you can choose to stop being angry, and concentrate on your next move --divorce (which is probably the most logical way to go, measuring your anger level), or forgiveness and renewing your marriage.
We are all trying to be positive for you, but your stubborness just kills it.
Separation and divorce are not even remotely on the same page. With one, you are legally married. With the other, you are legally single.
Now, do you still have a question?
If this was intended for me, we were not divorced. In fact, we never made it to the first hearing.
Had we been divorced then, legally, he could do what he wanted. Morally, is another story since there's that little part in the bible about no man putting asunder what God has joined.
My mistake was attempting a reconcilliation when there was nothing left to reconcile. Maybe I just didn't want to believe it was all destroyed when he chose her.
If this was intended for me, we were not divorced. In fact, we never made it to the first hearing.
Had we been divorced then, legally, he could do what he wanted. Morally, is another story since there's that little part in the bible about no man putting asunder what God has joined.
My mistake was attempting a reconcilliation when there was nothing left to reconcile. Maybe I just didn't want to believe it was all destroyed when he chose her.
True, if only everyone else thought like you do. But, ACCORDING TO WHAT YOU SAID BEFORE, he thought that the marriage was over when you filed it. Hence, he dated her. AND THEN, when you tried the reconciliation, he dumped her.
What do you expect him to do -- go back in time and UNdate her?
I have to say that if your seperated, I'm not sure its cheating. However the fact that he could jump into another relationship so easily says to me that he treats sexually intimacy very differently then you do.
The fact he thought he was going to take YOUR kids makes me think he has little or no respect for you.
I completely understand you filing for divorce like you did because that was the only way you could protect yourself. I'm affraid thats the way the legal system is set up.
I can't tell you what to do but it seems like you guys aren't really on the same page emotionally or intimately. I don't agree that men are LESS responsible for their actions when it comes to sex. Society has given them a pass so long that they think they are owed it and thats just wrong. Men need to grow up and practice a little restraint or suffer the REAL life consequences for it.
True, if only everyone else thought like you do. But, ACCORDING TO WHAT YOU SAID BEFORE, he thought that the marriage was over when you filed it. Hence, he dated her. AND THEN, when you tried the reconciliation, he dumped her.
What do you expect him to do -- go back in time and UNdate her?
Some things cannot be undone. That is the problem. You need to think about whether you can undo them before you do them.
If his reason for choosing her was he thought the marriage was over then he should not have come back beause, really, he ended it in all possible ways when he chose her.
I have to say that if your seperated, I'm not sure its cheating. However the fact that he could jump into another relationship so easily says to me that he treats sexually intimacy very differently then you do.
The fact he thought he was going to take YOUR kids makes me think he has little or no respect for you.
I completely understand you filing for divorce like you did because that was the only way you could protect yourself. I'm affraid thats the way the legal system is set up.
I can't tell you what to do but it seems like you guys aren't really on the same page emotionally or intimately. I don't agree that men are LESS responsible for their actions when it comes to sex. Society has given them a pass so long that they think they are owed it and thats just wrong. Men need to grow up and practice a little restraint or suffer the REAL life consequences for it.
Some things cannot be undone. That is the problem. You need to think about whether you can undo them.
If his reason for choosing her was he thought the marriage was over then he should not have come back beause, really, he ended it in all possible ways when he chose her.
OF COURSE YOU CAN NEVER UNDO THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN DONE! LOL! He came back because he loves you! Don't you get it? Yes, men tend to be a bit of a S__T, just giving away their pole to whoever wants to take it at the very sight that his marriage is over. Heard that before, and believe me, your husband is not the only man that has done this.
Sooooooooooo.... you're still here, trying to convince that he "chose her" over you because..............?
The fact he moved out first so he could be with her doesn't change that he chose her. Yes, it shows more character to leave first but the fact remains, he chose her. Yes, he spared me the humilation of having an affair behind my back. That doesn't excuse that he chose to be with someone else. Either our marriage was over, he'd moved on and never should have come back or our marriage wasn't over and he shouldn't have chosen to be with her. Take your pick.
You talk as if it's very white/black with him. However, I don't think you're allowing a thing that's been posted here to sink in. YOU were the one who filed - correct? YOU also wanted to reconcile. He may be confused and making poor choices, but I don't see that you have been making the best ones neither. He left, you filed for divorce, and he was with another woman - not the best moral or ethical choice on his part, but I suspect after reading your posts that he was pretty confident it was over. I think it is over now and I'm not sure what motivated you to try and reconcile given your attitude and feelings on the marriage and his being with another woman. Again, move on with your life and let it go.... and please seek counseling for the sake of your own future. This divorce isn't just about him being with another woman when you were already separated and one day I suspect you'll see that. I also think that if you read back on these posts a few years from now, you'll see what everyone's trying to help you understand. Good luck.
OF COURSE YOU CAN NEVER UNDO THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN DONE! LOL! He came back because he loves you! Don't you get it? Yes, men tend to be a bit of a S__T, just giving away their pole to whoever wants to take it at the very sight that his marriage is over. Heard that before, and believe me, your husband is not the only man that has done this.
Sooooooooooo.... you're still here, trying to convince that he "chose her" over you because..............?
That is a different story. Let's just say that, at the time, there was compelling reason (having do with my kids) to try to put this behind me. Sadly, I can't.
I don't excuse men's behavior because they are men any more than I'd excuse women's behavior bcause they are women. There are some things you just shouldn't do if you actually want your marriage to work and one is see someone else.
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