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I was thinking, do people really have a right to be angry if their girlfriend or boyfriend cheats on them, or if their girlfriend or boyfriend is spending too much time with their friends e.t.c ?.I'm not in that situation, but i've read alot about people being angry over these things.I'm in two minds about it.I feel that you should because cheating is a terrible thing to do, and if you are going out with someone, you should see them often, and you should see each other and your friends, equally, if you can and not see one more than the other.
However, on the other hand, i dont think we would have a right.I can understand it if you are married, as you are legally tied to each other, but when you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you're not.You know what i mean ?.If you arent married, you are free in a sense,because you arent married.
I would be angry if i was in that situation, but at the same time, i wouldnt think i had a right to be.
I was thinking, do people really have a right to be angry if their girlfriend or boyfriend cheats on them, or if their girlfriend or boyfriend is spending too much time with their friends e.t.c ?.I'm not in that situation, but i've read alot about people being angry over these things.I'm in two minds about it.I feel that you should because cheating is a terrible thing to do, and if you are going out with someone, you should see them often, and you should see each other and your friends, equally, if you can and not see one more than the other.
However, on the other hand, i dont think we would have a right.I can understand it if you are married, as you are legally tied to each other, but when you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you're not.You know what i mean ?.If you arent married, you are free in a sense,because you arent married.
I would be angry if i was in that situation, but at the same time, i wouldnt think i had a right to be.
I was in that situation and after I got over being angry, I was glad I found out before we were married. Realistically, if they can't stay true to you when the relationship is new and exciting, what's going to happen years down the road?
Getting mad in this situation is a reaction to being hurt vice being mad at the act itself, from my perspective. It's not that we're mad at what they did.. we are mad because we are hurt at the fact that they did it to us (whether it's about us or not).
In my case, I only called someone my girlfriend when we initiated a sexual relationship, because that signals the start of a monogamous relationship to me. So, when an individual cheats, and they are "boyfriend-girlfriend" it starts to erode the trust required for the monogamous relationship.
I agree that when you're in a "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship and someone cheats, it's easier to just to cut bait and leave than when you're married, but the anger over the hurt isn't any less.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rathagos
Getting mad in this situation is a reaction to being hurt vice being mad at the act itself, from my perspective. It's not that we're mad at what they did.. we are mad because we are hurt at the fact that they did it to us (whether it's about us or not).
In my case, I only called someone my girlfriend when we initiated a sexual relationship, because that signals the start of a monogamous relationship to me. So, when an individual cheats, and they are "boyfriend-girlfriend" it starts to erode the trust required for the monogamous relationship.
I agree that when you're in a "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship and someone cheats, it's easier to just to cut bait and leave than when you're married, but the anger over the hurt isn't any less.
Well said. When you care about someone and have some sort of exclusive sexual rights arrangement you have made yourself vulnerable, extended your trust and extended your respect to that person. The violation of said arrangement is, at once, a kick in the vulnerability, disrespectful, a rejection of your trust, and a flagrant rejection of you as a partner. Of course you want to be angry. Logic dictates that you pack up and move on without a second thought. Unfortunately, humans are seldom logical.
As to whether or not you have the right to be angry, I'm not sure that really matters. Emotions don't care about rights.
I was thinking, do people really have a right to be angry if their girlfriend or boyfriend cheats on them, or if their girlfriend or boyfriend is spending too much time with their friends e.t.c ?.I'm not in that situation, but i've read alot about people being angry over these things.I'm in two minds about it.I feel that you should because cheating is a terrible thing to do, and if you are going out with someone, you should see them often, and you should see each other and your friends, equally, if you can and not see one more than the other.
However, on the other hand, i dont think we would have a right.I can understand it if you are married, as you are legally tied to each other, but when you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you're not.You know what i mean ?.If you arent married, you are free in a sense,because you arent married.
I would be angry if i was in that situation, but at the same time, i wouldnt think i had a right to be.
There are different levels of romantic relationships. If it's a new and casual relationship, then it may not necessarily be a monogamous one. But if a couple has been dating for a while, then there could be expectations of being exclusive to each other. But what is key here is open and honest communication between both people. If one person wants to be in a monogamous relationship, then they should say so and the other person needs to either agree to the arrangement if that is what also what they want and disagree if they are not ready to.
As to how much time their s/o spends with their friends, again the couple needs to discuss this. I think that it's healthier for each to maintain their separate friends and personal spaces, and too much of a good thing can ruin a relationship. I don't think that in a serious relationship, every weekend night has to be spent with ones s/o, but every couple is different. But good communication is key.
And when dating, it's very important to be picky and only date people that are close to your ideal. Don't compromise your standards just to have romantic company. I'd rather wait for Mr. Right and be alone, than date the first or second guy that asks me out.
We're each of us solely responsible for how we respond to this, as we are to all other things.
Putting the blame on someone else for how YOU feel is a cop-out, an empowerment of the other person and just smacks of giving up self-control and self-respect.
We're each of us solely responsible for how we respond to this, as we are to all other things.
Putting the blame on someone else for how YOU feel is a cop-out, an empowerment of the other person and just smacks of giving up self-control and self-respect.
Personally, if you are co-dependent, get out of the relationship and meet someone who has the same self respect. Anyone who has to be with more than one person has issues.
Anyone who has to be with more than one person has issues.
Perhaps not the least of which is, they should probably be investigating alternative relationship structures...
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