I'm not jealous but... (marry, men, loyalty, young)
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I talked to him about it. He told me that he was actually getting concerned because I hadn't brought it up. He told me that he knew she was crossing the boundary and he was going to start ignoring her texts. He told that I was a million times more of a woman than she is and that's why he loves me and not her. He said he thought it was his fault that she had these feelings, but then after thinking about it that she can't help but like him, because he does relate to her, but he doesn't feel the same way and she has to accept that fact. He thinks that her feelings are not sincere as I am interpreting them to be. So the only think I should think of is how she was not good enough for him and that I am. It's not her fault that she's not what he's looking for, but I am. And my name in Kabbalah means warrior-queen, so he told me that peons shouldn't meddle in the life of the warrior-queen, right? And that was his piece. I just accepted that this is how he really feels and his actions will show it. I love him and I know ya'll make think otherwise, but he said what I needed to hear and I know he'll show it to me.
You've been together for ONE month as a couple. On the evolutionary relationship scale of things this is no time at all. Tell him how you feel. If he lets it continue step back its obvious he has issues to deal with and isn't ready for a relationship(or why would he continue to let her text him).
You've been together for ONE month as a couple. On the evolutionary relationship scale of things this is no time at all. Tell him how you feel. If he lets it continue step back its obvious he has issues to deal with and isn't ready for a relationship(or why would he continue to let her text him).
I know month is so short and you're right. It was stupid of me to fret over it in the first place.
What is it you admire about him, aside from his ability to "relate"? Is he sane? Rational? Honest? Ethical? Productive? Intelligent? Strong? Where's the evidence in his behavior?
IF you're thinking of making a life with this guy you need to be brutally honest with yourself about those questions. Things like that matter more and more over time. The fact that he tells you about the other girl's neediness makes me wonder what he tells her about you. A therapist with a big mouth won't go far.
And even if he's a fine man, that won't do you any good unless he loves you. What exactly has he done to prove his devotion? Sing original love songs under your window? Challenge a rival to a duel? Renounce a throne?
This man jumps when she calls because he enjoys being needed and desired, and it doesn't cost him anything. The only way he's ever going to set any boundaries is if he has to do so in order to gain or protect something he values. Does he values you that much?
The only way to find out is to step back. Spend much more time and energy on your studies, your friends, your interests, etc. If he's genuinely interested, he'll step forward and make a far greater effort to woo you, and keep you wooed. He simply won't have as much time for her.
If he doesn't do that, then better to know now, before you waste years on someone who cannot be what you need, want, and deserve.
What is it you admire about him, aside from his ability to "relate"? Is he sane? Rational? Honest? Ethical? Productive? Intelligent? Strong? Where's the evidence in his behavior?
IF you're thinking of making a life with this guy you need to be brutally honest with yourself about those questions. Things like that matter more and more over time. The fact that he tells you about the other girl's neediness makes me wonder what he tells her about you. A therapist with a big mouth won't go far.
And even if he's a fine man, that won't do you any good unless he loves you. What exactly has he done to prove his devotion? Sing original love songs under your window? Challenge a rival to a duel? Renounce a throne?
This man jumps when she calls because he enjoys being needed and desired, and it doesn't cost him anything. The only way he's ever going to set any boundaries is if he has to do so in order to gain or protect something he values. Does he values you that much?
The only way to find out is to step back. Spend much more time and energy on your studies, your friends, your interests, etc. If he's genuinely interested, he'll step forward and make a far greater effort to woo you, and keep you wooed. He simply won't have as much time for her.
If he doesn't do that, then better to know now, before you waste years on someone who cannot be what you need, want, and deserve.
He is sane, rational, loving, caring, empathetic, encouraging, intelligent, handsome, and just awesome. For example, I'm running my first half marathon, he's not even a runner, but he'll go with me on my runs and be like my "waterboy." He makes sure I'm well hydrated and that I'm timing myself right. He'll run with me when he can, but it's the fact that when I've had a rough run and I want to give up, he says he's proud of me and that I should be proud too. I may have misjudged the situation entirely. I mean they were friends way before he even met me. But I appreciate your honesty and advice and will take it to heart.
now you are making me jealous because I don't have a BF like that
Quote:
Originally Posted by dangeruscurves
He is sane, rational, loving, caring, empathetic, encouraging, intelligent, handsome, and just awesome. For example, I'm running my first half marathon, he's not even a runner, but he'll go with me on my runs and be like my "waterboy." He makes sure I'm well hydrated and that I'm timing myself right. He'll run with me when he can, but it's the fact that when I've had a rough run and I want to give up, he says he's proud of me and that I should be proud too. I may have misjudged the situation entirely. I mean they were friends way before he even met me. But I appreciate your honesty and advice and will take it to heart.
now you are making me jealous because I don't have a BF like that
Aww...well someday I hope you find them. So, my favorite flowers are daisies and I had a really bad day at work yesterday and I didn't want to tell him because we had just gone over the whole girl thing and I didn't want to rehash it. So, when I go to meet him, he tells me that he's gonna leave the door unlocked because he may be in the shower when I get there. So, I open the door and start to head upstairs and at the bottom of the stairs there is a vase full of colored daisies. I actually almost tripped over them, and then he's not in the shower and tells me that he absolutely adores me. I was just stunned. I feel like such a selfish girl to even think I should have to compete with the girl I just wrote about. And last night he even turned off his phone so we wouldn't be distracted in our alone time. I didn't even have to ask. I know there are people out there that may be skeptical of our relationship, but I don't care.
Last edited by dangeruscurves; 06-13-2008 at 11:34 AM..
Reason: typos
He was testing you. There will be more tests to come.....
Quote:
Originally Posted by dangeruscurves
Aww...well someday I hope you find them. So, my favorite flowers are daisies and I had a really bad day at work yesterday and I didn't want to tell him because we had just gone over the whole girl thing and I didn't want to rehash it. So, when I go to meet him, he tells me that he's gonna leave the door unlocked because he may be in the shower when I get there. So, I open the door and start to head upstairs and the bottom of the stairs there is a vase full of colored daisies. I actually almost tripped over them, and then he's not in the shower and tells me that he absolutely adores me. I was just stunned. I feel like such a selfish girl to even think I should have to compete with the girl I just wrote about. And last night he even turned off his phone so we wouldn't be distracted in our alone time. I didn't even have to ask. I know there are people out there that may be skeptical of our relationship, but I don't care.
Aww...well someday I hope you find them. So, my favorite flowers are daisies and I had a really bad day at work yesterday and I didn't want to tell him because we had just gone over the whole girl thing and I didn't want to rehash it. So, when I go to meet him, he tells me that he's gonna leave the door unlocked because he may be in the shower when I get there. So, I open the door and start to head upstairs and the bottom of the stairs there is a vase full of colored daisies. I actually almost tripped over them, and then he's not in the shower and tells me that he absolutely adores me. I was just stunned. I feel like such a selfish girl to even think I should have to compete with the girl I just wrote about. And last night he even turned off his phone so we wouldn't be distracted in our alone time. I didn't even have to ask. I know there are people out there that may be skeptical of our relationship, but I don't care.
I think this guy sounds GREAT!!!!!!! It's hard to tell what will happen in the future, but it seems like he is a caring, romantic, sweet guy who cares about how you feel. I might send my hubby to him for lessons .
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