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LBSer: Listen here you scumbag, I am an adopted child. I take umbrage at your attitude toward adoptees. I was fortunate in that there were no worthless losers in my adoptive family who treated me like I was crap. At least none I was ever aware of. All my relatives rejoiced when my parents got me because they were happy for them. All my relatives love me and have always been a blessing in my life.
How DARE you adopt (pardon the pun) such a sub-human attitude towards another human being. You are no better than a white supremacist who hates blacks because of the color of their skin. You say you're concerned that this child will grow up to treat your sister like crap? BS. What type of fools do you take us for? A biological child can do the same thing and I've seen it over and over again.
I'm beginning to believe that you are trolling this forum because while I know there are subterranean retards like you out there, I think most of them are too humiliated to show their ugly faces to polite society.
If you truly are what you say you are then shut the hell up and get out of the house. You have no right or business being there.
Oh, and when you grow up...IF you grow up, start another thread. It will be interesting to see what becomes of you.
OH HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I too am adoptee...my parents went the whole way to Canada to find me, and give me a loving home.....I have felt the same way through all the posts on this thread....
Hold up, that's present tense....your childhood IS the best of your life so far?
So how old are you really?
Don't think we should read too much into that. What the OP wrote makes sense to me. I recently got into a very stupid discussion with a poster because I had written something like this on a different thread and he became convinced he had 'caught me out'. It was very tiring, took the whole thread off topic and added nothing.
The age of the OP is really irrelevant, and a child isn't driving around in a Mini. At least I hope not!
THIS HATRED I FEEL is not healthy. i need your opinions please:
my sister adopted an infant. she adopted that boy infant from the day it was born. i am the youngest of our family. she is the eldest. she has been like a mother and father to me although we were not orphans. our parents was just too busy with work making sure they feed all their 9 kids i guess. i am now in my 30s and living with her and this kid. i admit i don't like the way she is spoiling her adopted. i feel indifferent with this kid becoz i know he is adopted. and felt he does not have the right to be spoiled like the way she is spoiling him. what makes it hard is i see it and it makes me hate this boy more and more. this actually is the main reason why i wanna move out ASAP. and i intend to as soon as i pay my car in full so that would be 2 more years misery to me. as much as i wanna move out, i cant financially. and if i dont succeed i would just hate this spoiled adopted boy more and more becoz instead of me living with my sis he is the one mooching my sis and i honestly feel he does not have the right to. i need you to wake me up.. and possible realize why i have to feel this way. i dont like this hatred i feel. i really don't.
Uuuummm..you're in your 30's. Your nephew is ten, but, HE'S the one mooching?! Because you're a big, spoiled baby, you want to deprive your sister of being a good mother to the son she has chosen. If she is spoiling him, how is that of any concern to you? Grow up and get a life! Sheesh!
thanks for your replies. you are both right on. i dont think i need counseling though. yes i am jealous. and by the way the boy is now 10 yrs old. and just recently my sis woke me up early coz she says her spoiled adopted boy has to be driven to his swimming lessons.. i protest, and she told me that if i dont drive him that i better pack up my bags and leave. it is not the only time she told me that whenever i protest about her spoiled adopted boy and needless to say im very very hurt. i feel that i am her OWN flesh and blood and yet she chose her adopted over me.
I am sorry but relationships, especially that between parent and child, can run deeper than blood. I have known step-parents that have been more of a parent to a child than their own blood parent that ran out and abandoned the child.
I doubt this child is even that spoiled. It sounds to me like your jealousy over your sister having this child clouds your judgment all around. You are 30 years old, why exactly are you needing to live with your sister if this situation bothers you so much.
Regardless of anything, please stop and think for a moment that it is not this childs fault whatever you are feeling. He is adopted because for whatever reasons his parents placed him for adoption. Your sister adopted him because for whatever her reasons she wanted to adopt him. Nowhere in any of this did this child ask for this situation. He is probably just fortunate enough to have been adopted by someone who can love him as her own.
Try being happy for your sister and seeing how you can help her out here and there instead of being so jealous that she has someone else other than you to shower with her love and attention.
whats with the word troll in this forum? anyway, i know that if it is my sister's biological child.. i definitely would not feel this way and would even spoil that child myself.it is the fact that he was adopted. that is my main issue.
He's a child and should not be treated any differently whether adopted or not. I think it is rather pathetic that a supposed grown woman as you should be by the age of 30, would take this attitude and view towards an innocent child.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LBSer
anyway, it is not like i am mistreating him. i just don't like him.
Oh, please, your very attitude towards him for being something he didn't have a choice in (adopted) is mistreatment enough. Put yourself in that poor child's shoes for one moment, if you are even capable of doing that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LBSer
my goodness. such hostility. honestly though maybe if you would stop obssesing on the word "troll". i will take your insults seriously. maybe you're the ones needing to expand your vocabulary other than trolls. some posters help me see the light. coz they give me serious analysis of my "dilemma" rather than focus on the trolling insults. i know to choose the best advice given by non troll posters anyway. and i started the thread coz it is not healthy for me. the son(notice the deleted adopted term) of my sis is enjoying my sister's generosity while i try my best to live my life without the hate which i honestly don't want to feel. simple things like he can't even clean his own room even if my sis tells him to **** me off. that's why i said i am worried about how he will treat her esp on his teenage years.
Your jealousy spills out over all your written words. Of course he is to enjoy her generosity. He is her child whether you like it or not, whether you agree with it or not. I actually admire your sister for having the heart to adopt a child and love on that child as if it were her own. She shows a lot more character than you do.
As for the cleaning the room stuff. Welcome to the real world. Most kids don't clean their room and have to be reminded over and over to do so. I speak from experience. I have 2 children ages 19 and 16. I also have 3 step-children (who I may add do not have my blood running through their veins but I love them just the same nonetheless and consider them to be my children as well) who are 15, 5, and 4. Guess what, from the youngest (4) to the oldest (19), my husband and I have to be on top of them to make sure their chores are done and rooms are picked up.
Your sister's son is no different because of being adopted. He is not doing this because he is adopted. He is doing it because he is a child. And his doing this does not in any way, shape or form mean that he will grow up to mistreat your sister or break her heart. Chances are he'll turn out just fine, just like many other kids who do the same at age 10.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LBSer
im not that vile to hate a baby! i started hating him when i witness how my sis was spoiling him. im not that heartless to be jealous of an infant. im not that pathetic.
Oh why not, because its a child and not an infant. I'm sorry but that is just as vile and pathetic in my book. If your issue is with how your sister spoils him, then take it up with your sister, not take it out on the child. But wait, maybe that's the thing. You can't take it out on your sister or she may tell you where you can go..... i.e. find another place to live. It's her house and her kid, she will raise him how she see's fit. You can offer her advice and suggestions but for crying out loud deal with your jealousy and insecurity issues.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LBSer
i just dont like when he does not do what he was asked to do... i feel like he was just receiving and receiving and worried that he would grow up with that attitude and my sis don't deserve to be used/treated like that esp by him.
No of course not, not especially by him. Thats your whole issue. It's okay for her to be mistreated, disrespected and used by you. Now that's okay why? Because you are blood and he's not. Please. And yes I read, you pay her $400 a month to live there, so. I'm sure that she will survive just fine without your $400 a month and without your poisonous attitude around her son.
You are a 30 year old woman. Grow up. You are the one using your sister more than that child. You care more about your little mini. Do yourself and especially your sister and her child a favor and get your own place.
Please tell me you have already decided that you will NEVER take part in bringing a child of your own into this world! Your hatred for this child has nothing to do with him being an adopted child and everything to do with your inability to grow up.
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