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My husband has been traveling for the last two years of our three year marriage. He leaves Sunday afternoon and comes back late (like 10pm) Friday night. So I get him for about 36 hours a week. Last year he was gone 45 weeks. We don't have kids, nor do we have any family nearby.
It was really hard at first, but I've gotten more used to it. He's not really a phone person, but he makes an effort. The first year, I was very resentful and lonely. He took this job after we'd been married a year, so I didn't marry him knowing this was going to happen. It sucks. I hate meeting up with friends and being the odd one out. I hate having to rush around on Saturdays to get everything done because it's the only time to do it. I hate that there's no transition time for him because he's not home for a full two days. I hate feeling guilty if I want to take a nap on a Sat. afternoon because we feel obligated to spend ALL our time together. Yeah, it pretty much just sucks all over the place. But at least we get the miles and the hotel points, and I get the remote and the comfy chair all to myself.
^It could be just the other way around especially if children are involved. I know some girls from school that go to high end hotels in Asia or Latin America and they service traveling business men. And I will believe them because they get good money for only two months work.
With my husband travelling so much, I have realized that I have become dependent on him for most of my adult social interaction. I have school mom and neighborhood mom friends but when he is away, I feel very lonely. When he comes home, he understandably needs time to catch his breath... get some home alone time...work out. I am, however, eager for him to get back into the groove and reconnect with me. When he doesn't, I point it out and he feels criticized, which makes him more reluctant to re-connect. Then, the cycle begins again with the next trip. I started to play tennis and that helps. The thought of being married but living such independent lives makes me sad. Is that what happens in a marriage after awhile? Is there a better way to stay close, connected if he has to travel so much?
Have you suggested to your husband that he should look to another company that will provide similar level of salary, but alot less traveling? His lifestyle, I must admit, is not for every wife.
Does anyone have a husband who travels alot with his job? I am looking for someone to talk to about this. My husband travels and I need a friend whose husband also does the same.
I think it would be a danger to the relationship. You get too used to being apart. Ideally, spouses would have each other on a daily basis to sound off, discuss, share in person for closeness and support. If you have children, it's extremely hard.
As a former military wife, I have experienced deployments and now that the military is behind us and we're self employed, my husband travels regularly.
As to the cheating comment/question: No, I've never cheated. I have kids and am an involved parent, I don't have time or energy for "some guy". Having an affair would just be one more thing... and like I don't have enough to do when he's gone!
The long deployments were easier in some ways... the kids and I would get into a pattern/schedule and I would try my best not to think about his being in harm's way. So many people claim to be "single parents", but very few go the single parent route without family within a 1000 mile radius or friends that you've known more than a couple months.
The travel he does now is harder sometimes. He's only gone for 1-2 weeks at a time. It's better in that we can usually schedule it around our lives (a luxury military wives don't have), but it disrupts our daily lives, and we're such a close family that 1-2 weeks isn't enough time to set a new pattern. We've discussed buying an RV and homeschooling the kids because we HATE being apart. During the summer, the kids and I will go with him on most of his trips.
We are best friends and are one of those disgusting couples who prefer to be together most of the time. Our kids are still young enough to prefer our company to that of their friends.
Although, our desire to be together all the time might be lessened if we did not HAVE to be apart due to work every month. And I do enjoy sleeping alone some of the time... I've suggested getting twin beds, but I get attacked just for mentioning it.
My husband travels quite a bit with his job, we never know where he will be sent next. I do not like it at all, it's hard as we have two children but he makes more money this way. Our son who is nine is very close to his dad and gets upset when he's away, he's very tender hearted and that makes me so sad. Our daughter is 14 and though she loves him very much, it dont bother her as much when he's away. I dont like this lifestyle at all, i feel when you are married you are suppose to be together as a family. I'm doing my best to support him but it's hard, i feel so alone at times.
If your spouse travels, no, it isn't an ideal situation - but it CAN work. There can even be good things come out of it.
My husband hasn't been home since the end of June. He CANNOT come home, he works 6 days/week, only one day off. He is about 10 hours by car from here. I have seen him only once since the end of June. I drove to see him, by myself, and stayed 3 or 4 days. That was when school was in fall break. We are spending time apart, but no one in their right mind would have passed up the job he was offered. With the economy going straight down a rathole, anyone with a good job, even if it involves travel, is pretty fortunate. I was already used to him travelling, prior to this job, as he was gone 10 days, home for 3. So you adjust.
The good things that have come out of this, is that we are becoming more financially secure. We are learning that we have an incredibly strong marriage. I am learning many things, that I would have not learned, had I had the safety and security of my husband being here. I, too, used to be fearful spending a night alone. No longer. Of course, I do have a gun, as do most rural folks. I could go on about advantages, but bottom line: this is a temporary situation, only of several hurdles we have overcome during our marriage. We are in this together.
Anyone who wants advice, support, or anything about a travelling spouse, feel free to PM me.
Does anyone have a husband who travels alot with his job? I am looking for someone to talk to about this. My husband travels and I need a friend whose husband also does the same.
For the first three years of our marriage, my wife traveled 50% of the time. She would leave either Sunday afternoon or Monday morning, and typically get back Friday afternoon. In fact, we returned from our honeymoon and, the next morning, she headed right back out again.
I have to admit that I hated it. For, in one sense, you have all the restrictions of being married (Not being able to go out with the boys every night), but none of the benefits. And if there's a social occasion in the middle of the week, you feel as if you are the fifth wheel. And, when you have kids, it means EVERYTHING is on your shoulders 4-5 days out of the week. And that's no picnic.
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