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I have a very dear friend of mine that I truly love. The problem is she has very low self esteem. She has had multiple affairs with married men and won't put herself out there for single guys.
She is wonderful, sweet, smart and pretty. I have tried talking to her and she promises she is done with married men, yet it continues. And she keeps getting hurt in so many ways.
I just want to shake her and tell her how wonderful she is and to stop.....yet she won't. Has anyone had experience with this?
Maybe she just gets a "charge" of going out with married men.
If thats the case, then nothing you can do or say will change her mind.
She will have to learn on her own unfortunetly, and hurt others that gets in her path.
Maybe she just gets a "charge" of going out with married men.
If thats the case, then nothing you can do or say will change her mind.
She will have to learn on her own unfortunetly, and hurt others that gets in her path.
Yeah; that drives me insane too. Her hubby had an affair which ended their marriage. It surprises me she is putting herself in these situations. I am so sad for her and everyone that is getting hurt....
Maybe she thinks that married men are "safe" so she won't get hurt in a relationship again. Sounds like she hasn't dealt with the pain of her own marriage break up. She probably needs to get into some counseling and see why she is making these choices. She will just end up hurting all the more and that seems sad for her. Good for you for at least encouraging her and building her up.
I have a very dear friend of mine that I truly love. The problem is she has very low self esteem. She has had multiple affairs with married men and won't put herself out there for single guys.
She is wonderful, sweet, smart and pretty. I have tried talking to her and she promises she is done with married men, yet it continues. And she keeps getting hurt in so many ways.
I just want to shake her and tell her how wonderful she is and to stop.....yet she won't. Has anyone had experience with this?
Well, if it's a pattern, it's probably caused by fear of intimacy and/or unwillingness to get more deeply involved. Both can be subconscious, I'd say.
Maybe she thinks that married men are "safe" so she won't get hurt in a relationship again. Sounds like she hasn't dealt with the pain of her own marriage break up. She probably needs to get into some counseling and see why she is making these choices. She will just end up hurting all the more and that seems sad for her. Good for you for at least encouraging her and building her up.
Why are you defending her friend? She clearly has more than a self esteem problem. She has low morale and an addiction and is CLEARLY a self defeating personality.
I don't think a therapist or counselor could solve that problem for her. Therapists sometimes have the same exact pathetic issues...haha. good luck with that friendship.
LOL subconcious, sierra thinks she is Freud. It is clearly not subconscious if the OP has brought it to her attention and the friend continues to get burnt by the same type of situations...that would make it a conscious problem.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ
Well, if it's a pattern, it's probably caused by fear of intimacy and/or unwillingness to get more deeply involved. Both can be subconscious, I'd say.
Why are you defending her friend? She clearly has more than a self esteem problem. She has low morale and an addiction and is CLEARLY self defeating.
I don't think a therapist or counselor could solve that problem for her. Therapists sometimes have the same exact pathetic issues...haha. good luck with that friendship.
Why would you not defend your friend? The point of friendship is being there through both the good and the bad. BE THERE FOR HER!
That would drive me crazy too! It's just so hard to watch. You just want to shake them and say "HE USING YOU!" lol
Anyway, I wouldn't just scream the obvious. I would say, "I think you could benefit from talking to someone. You're just such a wonderful girl but are not meeting the right people. Here is the name of someone my friend uses and really likes ___[insert psychologist name]__________"
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