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Well first off I've been married to my high school sweetheart for 28 years now. Love her more now than ever.. she's my best friend, & still hot looking (although I might have to get her some hooker shoes). We have complete trust in one another, I have travelled all over the western states bass fishing and sprint car racing with the guys, I don't get any lip about it. She has horses and goes camping with her friends and horses, it's fine with me...So # 1 is trust...
and remember it takes two to fight, to me nothing is more important than her, so if she feels stong enough about it to argue, well It's probally not worth it to me and vice a versa.
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and Ladies remember after a hard days work, a guy does'nt want to talk, he relaxes by spending some time alone, tinkering in the garage, playing on the PC, reading the paper, watching the news, you can be there, just give him space to unwind........
yes, yes, yes..........i know this very well, and sooooooo true! So many women don't get this, and such a simple thing to do for your man........just give him his unwinding time.
Perfect wife... one that doesn't loose the affection (both with and without a sexual context) and someone that is pleasant to be around. A good friend. If I have a good friend that I like being around where there is affection and sex then how much better does it get - keeps a lot of things in perspective when there are tough things going on in life that can challenge the relationship. This is a response after 25+ years of a committed marriage.
Couldn't have said it better myself Dave.....I am going on 32 years...we are best friends also and I STILL get notes under my morning coffee.
I am not perfect, he is not perfect and we both know it.
So, my husband and I will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary in 9 days and I was just wondering if I can get some honest, serious input from the wonderful gentlemen who are a part of CD. Ladies feel free to post as well! I know you all probably have some words of wisdom!
I would like to know what traits your SO possesses that make them so great for you, and I would like to know the things that we should look out for. What traits should we try to avoid. I want nothing more than to make sure my husband is happy and that his needs are met, so any input would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks in advance!!!!
Amusing... it's my one-year anniversary today and the only reason why I'm home alone right now is because she's at the doctor's office on account of how her benefits won't be in effect tomorrow so any doctor stuff has to be done today.
If you want to make your husband happy, you don't need any advice from anyone else's personal experiences. I could talk about what I like and don't like about my wife but that's me... I'm different from your husband... and that's my wife, who is different from you. Empirically, what you need to do is ask your husband what he wants... and ask him that question frequently. His answers may not always be the same but over time you will discover the common threads. I can give you a few things common to probably all men:
1) They want to be accepted, not rejected. So, if you tell him "no" to anything he wants you to do with him or for him, especially sex, make sure you have a darn good reason for saying no. "I don't wanna" may be darn, and it may be a reason, but it sure ain't good.
2) Their egos aren't as unwavering as you may think. There's nothing that can damage a man's ego like a marriage that is failing or leaving him unfulfilled, especially when that man believes he's doing whatever he can to make it work.
3) Give him what he wants... and he will be much more likely to give you what you want. (Either that, or you will be much more justified if you complain that he isn't giving you what you want. Bear in mind, men aren't mind-readers. You'll have to talk with your husband frequently in order for him to know what you want.)
4) Give as much as you take. Don't be selfish... don't be nothing but a taker... if you constantly take from anything without giving some back, simple math will show that you can't do that forever.
5) Try to join him in his world even if you aren't initially crazy about certain things he enjoys. If those things aren't categorically bad for a person, then you can try to be part of it. For example, maybe he likes football and you don't. (I don't like football either. It's just a hypothetical.) Even if you don't like it, watch a game with him occasionally. Yeah, the athletes are generally stupid and they make too much money. In the end, it's just entertainment.
6) Men like to be supported. Don't withhold your support unless you think that your man is considering doing something which you're positive will cause substantial damage to your family, his health, or your financial situation.
Amusing... it's my one-year anniversary today and the only reason why I'm home alone right now is because she's at the doctor's office on account of how her benefits won't be in effect tomorrow so any doctor stuff has to be done today.
If you want to make your husband happy, you don't need any advice from anyone else's personal experiences. I could talk about what I like and don't like about my wife but that's me... I'm different from your husband... and that's my wife, who is different from you. Empirically, what you need to do is ask your husband what he wants... and ask him that question frequently. His answers may not always be the same but over time you will discover the common threads. I can give you a few things common to probably all men:
1) They want to be accepted, not rejected. So, if you tell him "no" to anything he wants you to do with him or for him, especially sex, make sure you have a darn good reason for saying no. "I don't wanna" may be darn, and it may be a reason, but it sure ain't good.
2) Their egos aren't as unwavering as you may think. There's nothing that can damage a man's ego like a marriage that is failing or leaving him unfulfilled, especially when that man believes he's doing whatever he can to make it work.
3) Give him what he wants... and he will be much more likely to give you what you want. (Either that, or you will be much more justified if you complain that he isn't giving you what you want. Bear in mind, men aren't mind-readers. You'll have to talk with your husband frequently in order for him to know what you want.)
4) Give as much as you take. Don't be selfish... don't be nothing but a taker... if you constantly take from anything without giving some back, simple math will show that you can't do that forever.
5) Try to join him in his world even if you aren't initially crazy about certain things he enjoys. If those things aren't categorically bad for a person, then you can try to be part of it. For example, maybe he likes football and you don't. (I don't like football either. It's just a hypothetical.) Even if you don't like it, watch a game with him occasionally. Yeah, the athletes are generally stupid and they make too much money. In the end, it's just entertainment.
6) Men like to be supported. Don't withhold your support unless you think that your man is considering doing something which you're positive will cause substantial damage to your family, his health, or your financial situation.
I hope that helps.
Thank you so much for your advice! It does help a lot! Thanks to you all!!!!
I do ask my husband what he wants, and on a regular basis, but he is a man and doesn't like to talk about things to much, so I try not to overtalk anything. I just thought there may be some things that others could bring to the table in terms of advice. Things have been going very well lately and I just want to make sure that they continue to go this way.
We have been through hard times in our relationship (mostly before we got married), nothing serious at all, but we haven't been perfect. I just enjoy hearing success stories and finding out what wise things people with many more years of marital experience have to offer.
Keep them coming! One can never have too much good advice!!!!
I think that respect is another big one. For each other, not just from her, or from him, but from both individuals.
Don`t take advantage of each other. Appreciate the "little things."
The perfect wife...hmmm...when she hands me a beer...it's already open?
I know you are kidding....but there is some truth to that. If you do little nice things for your husband (or wife) they notice. Sometimes it's the tiny little nice things that really convey how much you love someone.
One other thing for the OP to think about: Try to be happy when you are with your husband. Even if you aren't feeling particularly happy, sometimes ACTING happy works. I've noticed that most happily married people ACT happy. This sounds goofy to some and insulting to others....those that think you've got to be honest all the time and show your REAL feelings all the time. This is simply not true. There is nothing worse than to be around someone who is more often than not unhappy, complaining, carping about how they have been wronged, etc. There is a saying I've heard "Fake it until you make it" or something like that. I think it applies to happiness.
There is a book by Dennis Prager called HAPPINESS IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM (I think that's the name), and it really helped me understand how important being or acting happy is. Prager is a radio talk show host and he is syndicated so is in a lot of the major markets...he even has 1 hour every week dedicated to the subject of happiness. If you are interested in the concept you should pick up a copy of the book or listen to his program on Fridays. He is a conservative so you may not want to listen other than the Happiness Hour on Fridays...that hour is not politically inspired. Anyway he has some really interesting perspectives on happiness .
I try to be or act happy most of the time. I've kind of trained myself and put a lot of work and effort into this and it has really paid off. My husband is naturally a happy guy so he appreciates that I make the effort and it can be an effort. But it's worth it. Acting happy, smiling, being positive are things that can really affect your marriage for the better.
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Ladies feel free to post as well! I know you all probably have some words of wisdom! 
