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My wife and I have been searching for some time for a straight female to become a part of our family, with no results. It seems that most responses we get are apparently from undercover agents.
What we have discovered is that while many single women complain about a lack of available descent, family orientated men, looking for something more than a roll in the hay, balk at the idea of a poly family. I realize that part of this is the conditioning that Christianity has laid on society for centuries that this is immoral, which it isn't. All the while priests are molesting young boys.
However, many of the women who balk at a poly relationship, participate in or condone sleeping around with multiple partners, group sex, wife swapping, homosexuality etc. Many women have no problem with sleeping with another woman's husband, but have a problem being in a committed relationship with them.
There is the problem of all the negative publicity caused by the various scandals of the various sects of the Mormon Church, which the media love to blow up out of proportion. Yes, there have been abuses, but this does not apply to the poly community as a whole. Most people are not aware of it, but there is a large underground poly community in this country. They do not live in large compounds, but rather might be your neighbors. They abhor the abuses of the Mormon sects just as you do. However, they live an underground existence out of fear of the government abuse of power such as occurred with the FLDS sect in Texas.
Being a part of a poly family has many advantages, especially in today's failing economy. And it is NOT all about sex, as those opposed to polygamy claim. In an age where where runaway prices is making it difficult for many families to survive, especially single mothers, being a part of a poly family helps provide a better standard of living. It also means that there are more people sharing the work, meaning each has less to do. It also offers more flexibility for the family as far as work, and childcare go. It allows one woman to be a homemaker while another pursues a career. Or all parties may pursue careers.
The bottom line, is that in today's economy, it makes sense to think outside the box. It may not be for everyone, but for others, it could make the difference. Why not choose a good man with a proven track record. You're not just gaining a man, you will be gaining a sister also.
My wife and I have been searching for some time for a straight female to become a part of our family, with no results. It seems that most responses we get are apparently from undercover agents.
What we have discovered is that while many single women complain about a lack of available descent, family orientated men, looking for something more than a roll in the hay, balk at the idea of a poly family. I realize that part of this is the conditioning that Christianity has laid on society for centuries that this is immoral, which it isn't. All the while priests are molesting young boys.
However, many of the women who balk at a poly relationship, participate in or condone sleeping around with multiple partners, group sex, wife swapping, homosexuality etc. Many women have no problem with sleeping with another woman's husband, but have a problem being in a committed relationship with them.
There is the problem of all the negative publicity caused by the various scandals of the various sects of the Mormon Church, which the media love to blow up out of proportion. Yes, there have been abuses, but this does not apply to the poly community as a whole. Most people are not aware of it, but there is a large underground poly community in this country. They do not live in large compounds, but rather might be your neighbors. They abhor the abuses of the Mormon sects just as you do. However, they live an underground existence out of fear of the government abuse of power such as occurred with the FLDS sect in Texas.
Being a part of a poly family has many advantages, especially in today's failing economy. And it is NOT all about sex, as those opposed to polygamy claim. In an age where where runaway prices is making it difficult for many families to survive, especially single mothers, being a part of a poly family helps provide a better standard of living. It also means that there are more people sharing the work, meaning each has less to do. It also offers more flexibility for the family as far as work, and childcare go. It allows one woman to be a homemaker while another pursues a career. Or all parties may pursue careers.
The bottom line, is that in today's economy, it makes sense to think outside the box. It may not be for everyone, but for others, it could make the difference. Why not choose a good man with a proven track record. You're not just gaining a man, you will be gaining a sister also.
I'd love to be part of a poly family. I just can't get my husband to agree to let me take a second husband. I keep telling him he'd have someone to share yard work with and how much that second income would mean to us. I even pointed out that he'd get every other night off to watch football but he just won't bite.
I guess a lot of real women are just not cool with sharing their man of choice.
As for the other activities that you allege many women will put up with such as group sex, wife swapping, sleeping with other women's husbands and/or homosexuality; I'm not sure those are the kinds of relationships most women prefer or consider ideal - except for homosexuality, which is a completely separate issue altogether.
As for religious views, I'm not sure that that addresses why or why not either.
I agree with Ivory. Why do you, your wife, or others in the poly community believe that the man, by default, should have the right to more than one potential sex partner, regardless of economic incentives, so on and so forth, while women should simply be grateful to have a man in their lives?
I'd love to be part of a poly family. I just can't get my husband to agree to let me take a second husband. I keep telling him he'd have someone to share yard work with and how much that second income would mean to us. I even pointed out that he'd get every other night off to watch football but he just won't bite.
good one--lol
exactly--how come its never "poly" but the other way around??
I guess a lot of real women are just not cool with sharing their man of choice.
As for the other activities that you allege many women will put up with such as group sex, wife swapping, sleeping with other women's husbands and/or homosexuality; I'm not sure those are the kinds of relationships most women prefer or consider ideal - except for homosexuality, which is a completely separate issue altogether.
As for religious views, I'm not sure that that addresses why or why not either.
I agree with Ivory. Why do you, your wife, or others in the poly community believe that the man, by default, should have the right to more than one potential sex partner, regardless of economic incentives, so on and so forth, while women should simply be grateful to have a man in their lives?
Sounds lame.
Yes, not all women are "cool" with that, but that is OK. However, what defines a "real woman"? The fact is that while 22% of married men cheat on their wife, the women are not very far behind at 14%. I guess, then, that there are quite a few women who don't mind sharing. While I have not been able to get any figures on group sex or wife swapping, there are countless websites advertising these activities. It is not just the wives putting up with it, they enjoy participating in it. As far as homosexuality goes, it is not an entire issue. Homosexuality is a immoral, the same reason why many women object to polygamy, which is NOT. Women having more than one husband has no basis in Scripture. And it is not just that a woman should be grateful to have a man in their lives. If they did not want a man in their life, they would not be looking for one, unless they are simply looking for another in a string of sex partners. I am just saying that if you are looking for a man and can't find one, why not look outside the box. Why not consider poly?
I would not consider it. Relationships take work, and when you have multiple intimate relationships to a level that I require of my spouse (and that she requires of me), there is not enough time available to invest in another individual. Note that the relationship between spouses, partners, or whatever you wish to call it, is vastly different from your relationship with your child(ren).
And, Shadow, while your numbers are interesting, I must ask where your source is, and, more importantly, for which society are you citing these numbers? I have a feeling that those numbers might be different depending on the society you're living in.
The bottom line is, for me, it wouldn't be worth it, and while it would be nice to have something different every once in a while, from a logical standpoint, it is not worth the investment required in terms of time.
Beyond that, from an evolutionary viewpoint, it's a bit advantageous actually to stick with one partner, rather than having multiple ones. You're more likely to be "in tune" with one person, as opposed to say, 3 or 4. It's easier to read one person when you've spent quite a bit of time with them than it is to spend half your time with that one person and half your time with another, and historically speaking, it's been better for families to work together, which, because of instinctual jealousy that lies inherent in the majority (but not all) of mankind, this causes conflict which is not only unnecessary, but could have potentially been life destroying in ages where we depended on other people moreso for our survival.
On the flip side, and purely from an economical standpoint, in our current society, polygamy is the way to go. Housing, gas, food, etc. are all so expensive that having 4 or 5 incomes in one household is almost a guarantee for near limitless prosperity. This hasn't been the case, though, before modern day times.
Just for the record, I don't think the government should regulate that. What occurs between consenting adults should stay between consenting adults. But there aren't that many good reasons to adamantly support polygamy... however, if you're happy, then good for you. I just don't think that it could work for society as a whole.
I'm pretty sure the reason that many of us are not interested in the poly lifestyle has nothing to do with scripture, whatsoever.
You're shopping in the wrong pool here. If you're looking for Christian female companionship, why not bother those nice people in the "religion and philosophy" forum? Are you scared to ask there?
I'd love to be part of a poly family. I just can't get my husband to agree to let me take a second husband. I keep telling him he'd have someone to share yard work with and how much that second income would mean to us. I even pointed out that he'd get every other night off to watch football but he just won't bite.
Yeah, isn't it strange? Perhaps it goes this way because of the generalization about men having higher libido. When it's the other way around the roles can and should be reversed.
good one--lol
exactly--how come its never "poly" but the other way around??
I know. What kind of "lifestyle choice" is it when it only goes one way?
You know, I could handle two men out earning a paycheck to support me. And just think, they could watch football together while my girlfriends and I go shopping I see this as a win win situation for sure.
My wife and I have been searching for some time for a straight female to become a part of our family, with no results. It seems that most responses we get are apparently from undercover agents.
What we have discovered is that while many single women complain about a lack of available descent, family orientated men, looking for something more than a roll in the hay, balk at the idea of a poly family. I realize that part of this is the conditioning that Christianity has laid on society for centuries that this is immoral, which it isn't. All the while priests are molesting young boys.
However, many of the women who balk at a poly relationship, participate in or condone sleeping around with multiple partners, group sex, wife swapping, homosexuality etc. Many women have no problem with sleeping with another woman's husband, but have a problem being in a committed relationship with them.
There is the problem of all the negative publicity caused by the various scandals of the various sects of the Mormon Church, which the media love to blow up out of proportion. Yes, there have been abuses, but this does not apply to the poly community as a whole. Most people are not aware of it, but there is a large underground poly community in this country. They do not live in large compounds, but rather might be your neighbors. They abhor the abuses of the Mormon sects just as you do. However, they live an underground existence out of fear of the government abuse of power such as occurred with the FLDS sect in Texas.
Being a part of a poly family has many advantages, especially in today's failing economy. And it is NOT all about sex, as those opposed to polygamy claim. In an age where where runaway prices is making it difficult for many families to survive, especially single mothers, being a part of a poly family helps provide a better standard of living. It also means that there are more people sharing the work, meaning each has less to do. It also offers more flexibility for the family as far as work, and childcare go. It allows one woman to be a homemaker while another pursues a career. Or all parties may pursue careers.
The bottom line, is that in today's economy, it makes sense to think outside the box. It may not be for everyone, but for others, it could make the difference. Why not choose a good man with a proven track record. You're not just gaining a man, you will be gaining a sister also.
I think the reason why WOMEN (since you brought up one gender and not the other) avoid polygamy is the same reason why men over-romanticize polygamy: it's about control. That is, it takes a certain type of management style to manage even one other person in a household -- ask anyone with kids. With the prospect of adding an extra wife (or husband), you add another person with another agenda, set of values, view of the world, etc. ... and that can be daunting to any group! A lot of people would see the extra work and not the benefits.
The other reason why women tend to avoid polygamy in this country is illustrated, rather poignantly, by the following case:
Wife admits murder in polygamy case | Philadelphia Inquirer | 04/26/2008 (http://www.philly.com/inquirer/front_page/20080426_Wife_admits_murder_in_polygamy_case_The_B lue_Bell_man_was_to_meet_his_second_wife_in_Morocc o_on_the_day_he_was_slain_.html - broken link)
There are very real fears that many women have about being supplanted. Even in a situation involving adultery, oftentimes, the wife knows that her situation is secure because her legal standing is such that she can access half of the marital wealth in a worst case scenario (i.e., divorce). If polygamy were legal, those marital assets would be divided further ... which would not be in many women's best interests. At least part of the reason why the aforementioned first wife reacted so strongly to her husband's taking a second wife was because she had built up an empire by his side, and felt slighted by the husband's insistence on adding another person to their household.
Had the husband been thinking with something other than what was between his legs, he might have addressed his first wife's fears more directly. This might have spared him from the fate that ultimately befell him.
As to why a woman would choose being alone over being in a polygamous relationship ... the other big reason is because a lot of women know how other women think, and probably would not be eager to involve themselves in the power struggles that could ensue. I know that if I had the choice, I'd much rather be alone. Relationships should be fun, and while there are those who would no doubt be happy in a polygamous arrangement, I know that I am not one of those women. A lot of other women know that about themselves, as well. And that's OK.
(On another tangent, the actress Tilda Swinton has two male partners living with her. I wonder what her secret is ...)
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