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Iinstead of calling him a player or a jerk did anybody consider maybe she just didn't do it for him?Maybe she didn't do it enough for him for a longer term commitment but decided to have a fun weekend and try to make her have fun also?
Even guys who don't want a commitment if they find a girl that turns them on chances are the guy will want to continue to know the girl on some level.
Well, the way he portrayed himself in the beginning, acted as if he WAS interested in her during the weekend, and then basically dumped her, is being a complete jerk (in my opinion).
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking
Iinstead of calling him a player or a jerk did anybody consider maybe she just didn't do it for him?Maybe she didn't do it enough for him for a longer term commitment but decided to have a fun weekend and try to make her have fun also?
Even guys who don't want a commitment if they find a girl that turns them on chances are the guy will want to continue to know the girl on some level.
Iinstead of calling him a player or a jerk did anybody consider maybe she just didn't do it for him?Maybe she didn't do it enough for him for a longer term commitment but decided to have a fun weekend and try to make her have fun also?
Even guys who don't want a commitment if they find a girl that turns them on chances are the guy will want to continue to know the girl on some level.
why would you get physically involved on a first date? Not to mention, he set the trap, talked all kinds of stuff on the phone, even marriage? To me, lion king, that's a great big flag...and unfortunately, she took the bate. They are both wrong here...she should have never traveled to another state alone to be with a man she met on the internet?
I mean, if you met some really pretty knock out woman, on the internet, who you've only talked to on the phone, would you speak of marriage?
I have a cousin, and have known many other women like your friend who finds it very difficult to locate men who are "good enough" for her, when in fact they come into contact every single day with men who are wonderful, caring, loving, kind and gentle souls who would make wonderful mates. Of course, they are not even considering the guys who work in the convenient stores, or fix the copy machines, or work on cars. Nope, they want the big dollar, high roller, BMW driving, Macho dudes, who are sadly, as shallow and self-centered as they are.
20yrsinBranson
Bingo.
Her date knows her type and said all the right things.
why would you get physically involved on a first date? Not to mention, he set the trap, talked all kinds of stuff on the phone, even marriage? To me, lion king, that's a great big flag...and unfortunately, she took the bate. They are both wrong here...she should have never traveled to another state alone to be with a man she met on the internet?
I mean, if you met some really pretty knock out woman, on the internet, who you've only talked to on the phone, would you speak of marriage?
I don't know exactly what was said but saying you might be interested in marriage doesn't mean he has made up his mind of being interested in marrying her.
Of course I agree though that a whole lot of what was said probably should had been kept to just short term talk to see where it goes before.
To go through all that trouble knwing it will be a one time affair doesn't make sense on his part so Im thinking there were other issues.
why would you get physically involved on a first date? Not to mention, he set the trap, talked all kinds of stuff on the phone, even marriage? To me, lion king, that's a great big flag...and unfortunately, she took the bate. They are both wrong here...she should have never traveled to another state alone to be with a man she met on the internet?
I mean, if you met some really pretty knock out woman, on the internet, who you've only talked to on the phone, would you speak of marriage?
I don't know exactly what was said but saying you might be interested in marriage doesn't mean he has made up his mind of being interested in marrying her.
Of course I agree though that a whole lot of what was said probably should had been kept to just short term talk to see where it goes before.
To go through all that trouble knwing it will be a one time affair doesn't make sense on his part so Im thinking there were other issues.
Exactly..it was ridiculous....i told her that all that chit chatter was extremely premature. My whole thing is..if they agreed that they would be honest from the door..then he should have instead of wasting time..especially being he thought she was a "nice person". but this is the world we live in..
We can never -- never -- control, or even influence, the choices of anyone else. Never. Not their feelings, thoughts, words, or actions. Therefore, we can never understand why people make choices that mystify us. We are all different, distinct, unique and have our individual journeys to accomplish. This is a move on . . . Mysteries are okay. Judging keeps us stuck and wastes our energy; thrashing out over and over what is incomprehensible wastes our energy. The Universe is perfect just as it is, and everyone is doing the best they know how. Move on . . .
Conversations led to the guy telling her that she was the perfect woman for him, talking about having kids yada yada..he even went as far as talking about marriage and actually told her that he believes he's "falling in love". Ofcourse most of us would say that type of chatter is way too premature..but I'm just telling you the scenario.
That should have been a red flag immediately.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrishP7
... In either case, they finally decided to meet. Prior to that, they made an agreement if for whatever reason one wasnt attracted to the other, they would be completely honest, no strings attached, no hard feelings..they would go their seperate ways right then and there and not pronlong the weekend as my girlfreind traveled to boston from Jersey to meet this guy.
They probably made that agreement but he may have misunderstood the part in red. Or, he figured that since she came down all that way that he'd show her a good time to be nice [I'm guessing].
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrishP7
... Well..here she is at his doorstep..and there was an instant attraction. They spent the weekend together..shopping (he purchased her two shirts, jewelry..something else..oh he gave her a blanket that he said his grandmother gave him.)..please keep in mind that my friend is not a gold digger by anymeans..he did shower her but she also insisted and paid for breakfast and I think the movies.
I don't think any of those actions mean much.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrishP7
... Well the following day, she received a response from him stating "You are a great girl and any guy would be lucky to have you..but unfortunately, we are not a good match. I'm sorry"! WTF????????????????? What the hell happened. We are in awe and completely baffled. The point is..that they had a great weekend..great conversation..everything was flawless..so what the @#$% happened?!!
He apparently didn't think so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrishP7
She reached out to him twice and said that its ok if they never see each other again but to let her know what the problem was, just for closure. He never contacted her. Its been about 2 weeks now.
He's under no obligation to. If someone dumped me or rejected me or whatever, I'd figure, "Later..." and move on. What kind of closure is she looking for? First, it may be difficult for him to articulate it and not worth the effort AND/OR he doesn't want the 'explanation' to turn into the long drawn-out Q and A. Besides, what difference does it make? It sounds to me like your friend has it together as is, so would she really change for this guy?
In the end, no point in her pondering it too much. She'll find someone right for her.
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