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"Just looking" is always the first step towards cheating. Unless something happens to change him, cheating could very well be in his future. Not that I can predict the future, of course.
Me personally, I would make him leave our home to show him how serious I am that such things will not be tolerated. If that doesn't make him realize how serious this is and make him want to do right by me, then I would divorce him. I don't like divorce and don't believe in it in most cases. But in situations like yours, if things don't improve they will only get worse and divorce seems inevitable.
Your husband has most likely cheated or will in the future. I met my lover on one of the sites and in the process have learned about this side of men. For these men, it is a game and one that is very hard to quit. Most of these men are approaching 40 or in their early to mid 40s. Many of the men do love their wives and do not want to leave. In fact, it is not uncommon at all for them so say that they are happy in their marraige. They want to experience something new or act out a fantasy life and they usually want a friendship as well. Trust me, their wives have no clue they are cheating, so if you have evidence that he is on one of these sites, then don't ignore it. It doesn't mean you have to kick him to the curb, like I said, men separate their love and intimate life. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you or isn't attracted to you. In fact, a lot of these guys have good sex lives with their wives. You can also install special software on his computer that lets you see what he is doing. There are entire websites devoted on how to catch a cheater or would-be-cheater. If you want any other insights into this topic, then I will share it with you.
Three days ago I saw my husband had visited the site, filled out the questionnaire and sent emails to several differnt women just the day bepfre. He has been a guest member since 12/07, but had the nerve to tell me it was just for fun, that it did not mean anything. Could you imagine??? I don't beleive a word he says. I beleive that he has met people at least once. He frequently looks at other sites too, now I am worried about addiction...
If you know what his username is for the sites, you could always sign up on the same sites and act as a decoy. (You don't have to pay for a guest membership on Ashley Madison and you just enter fake information. You would need to give a real email address) You would quickly find out his intentions. A lot of these guys admit to being on multiple sites and that is not a good sign. It really is a game for some of these guys..and as I mentioned...hard to quit.
Apparently your husband feels the need to believe that he is still attractive to members of the opposite sex. We wants to feel that he is not over the hill yet, sill "marketable".
It seems to me that this is his insecurity and really has nothing to do with you. You can try to reassure him and bolster his ego up, but I doubt that is going to do much good. He needs to hear it from an indepenent third party. It is a bad sign that he has joined this site. I think I would feel less threatened if he was on Match.com or Matchmaker.com instead of a site that specializes in people who are married already.
Frankly, to be honest, I'd be much more concerned that he was listening to Howard Stern. That guy is nothing but a self-serving moron and I cannot, for the life of me, understand why anyone would waste their time.
I'd definitely keep the lines of communication open and try to find out what he feels is lacking in his relationship with you and try my best to fix it. If I were you.
Frankly, to be honest, I'd be much more concerned that he was listening to Howard Stern. That guy is nothing but a self-serving moron and I cannot, for the life of me, understand why anyone would waste their time.
20yrsinBranson
This Ashley Madison website advertises on the Howard Stern show. There are so many websites like this that are just absolutely amoral. I'm not a bible thumper but jeez. It kinda makes me sick. These people have not sense of right and wrong. Sad really.
Apparently your husband feels the need to believe that he is still attractive to members of the opposite sex. We wants to feel that he is not over the hill yet, sill "marketable".
It seems to me that this is his insecurity and really has nothing to do with you. You can try to reassure him and bolster his ego up, but I doubt that is going to do much good. He needs to hear it from an indepenent third party. It is a bad sign that he has joined this site. I think I would feel less threatened if he was on Match.com or Matchmaker.com instead of a site that specializes in people who are married already.
Frankly, to be honest, I'd be much more concerned that he was listening to Howard Stern. That guy is nothing but a self-serving moron and I cannot, for the life of me, understand why anyone would waste their time.
I'd definitely keep the lines of communication open and try to find out what he feels is lacking in his relationship with you and try my best to fix it. If I were you.
20yrsinBranson
I can't believe people reasonably and calmly discuss something like this and look for "solutions"... I'm sorry, but such a loser would be out of my door in a split NY second. Oh, yeah, and in case somebody thinks this is extreme and I'll be alone for the rest of my life, I truly don't care. I'd rather be alone than with scum like this.
i kid you not. buddy ---your jealous wife is the least of your problems.
i know a man serving 3 years federal prison. my neighbors son in law.
went to a chat room, talked to a minor flirted downloaded her pictures made a date.
knock at the door. FBI agents arrested and jailed him. that 16 year old cutie was a male FBI agent.
he had no prior record, pedophile law.
Another lowlife. Boot his sorry arse out the door.
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Advice from "The Other Woman"
